Will I ever be okay again?

[jayyyyy]

Every time I come out of a depressive episode, I'm shoved into another worst one and there's no way out. I have no one to talk to. I can't speak to my friends because they have their own problems and I'd feel really guilty if I even mentioned mine while they were nearby. I sorta feel uncomfortable talking about everything to my therapist, it's just slightly awkward. I'm just so mentally exhausted from everything, I want to cry but I can't because if any of my family members were to see me crying for seemingly no reason they'd start worrying about me. I don't think anyone should be worrying about me, it's a waste of their time. I just need some encouragement I guess? I don't get that from my friends or anyone really.

[Balloffur2468]

Hey I know that you don’t want to be a burden to those around you. However I have found that friends and family can be very helpful when I’m down/worried. Perhaps you need a new therapist? It’s important to feel comfortable and share so you can heal. It can also help to identify your triggers for the episodes.

[jayyyyy in reply to Balloffur2468]

I really wish I could talk to my friends/family, it may be helpful for me but every time I simply can't do it. I get really worried or stressed and just fail. But I'll keep trying. I've been trying to find a new therapist, this is my second, I just hope I find a good one. Thank you very much for your advice.

[Megapanda in reply to jayyyyy]

I can totally relate to that . I struggle with opening up to people closes to me . I find writing a small note or the main point/ points I want to talk about . Or if this is still too difficult you can write out what you want to say or read it or even record a voice memo . Asking the person first , say something like I really want to talk to you about but it's difficult for me can you be patient with me . You can start with something small and with someone who you trust and go from there . I am sure you can talk to your therapist about this and they can help you with it . I hope it goes with your new therapist . Sometimes it takes a few attempts to find the right one .

[Adlon57]

Believe me I know the feeling like a human punch bag, through a long patch of depression, maybe something good seemingly just around the corner, then, something else maybe not related to your present mood, hits you? It seemingly keeps going on, like yourself don't want to burden family or close friends, they have their own worries and troubles! This keeps going on, like an endless whirlpool. You try to keep it into your system, knotting up the old brain, I'm lucky in that I have my own personal specialist, I have a very rare medical condition, but through my endless groaning we have become good friends. It's times like this close family and friends can help, but let loose in HU, there are plenty of people here in a very similar situation ! Good Luck jayyyyy👍

[Midori]

Hi there and welcome to us, a community of strangers! All with similar stories, similar worries!

Unload on us, we're here to support everyone! Sometimes one of us may need a short break, but we often come back afterwards , refreshed.

Cheers, Midori

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for sharing. I am sorry you are struggling. I have been there where I struggled and didn't want to be a burden to anyone, especially my family and friends. However, that is the last thing we are to those who love us. They want to see us mentally healthy and those who are true friends will be there through good and bad times. I know for me, if I had a friend who was struggling I would want to know and then see how I could help. You do need the support of friends and family to get better. Don't be afraid to ask for help. As for your therapist, that is what they were trained for. There is nothing that they aren't trained for, and their job is to help you get better. If you don't feel comfortable with this therapist, then try someone else.

What really helped me was positive self-talk. I had to learn to love myself, accept myself the way God created me - in otherwords, not compare myself to others, and learn to find things and thoughts that add value to my life. I learned too about true and false guilt. Feeling depressed and anxious is nothing to feel guilty for. It is a disease but there is things we can do to feel better.

Here are the four techniques that help me when I am struggling.

1) Healing comes from the inside out. It starts with letting go of the things of the past, forgiving and changing our focus and behavior. Becoming aware of what you need through self-care and personal nourishment. Take time for yourself - you are worth it. Like taking walks, baths, massages, mani/pedi/, listening to uplifting music/sermons and anything that makes you feel refreshed and renewed.

2) The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thoughts. I do this one to three times a sitting.

3)The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.

4) Emotional Freedom Tapping - bit.ly/3AVYNiX You use pressure points to tap on those points while you repeat positive uplifting things to yourself.)

You will feel better - that is what I tell myself everytime I have struggled with a depressive episode. With the right medication, therapy, and tecniques you will feel better. I will be praying for you and if you ever need to talk to somoene, please feel free to pm me. I know the struggles of depression and anxiety. However, I also know using the techniques I mentioned, the right medication and dosage, and having support from someone who understands your struggles really helps. Hugs and God Bless

[lovetodance2018]

I noticed the linked didn't work - here is the updated one for the EFT - k-p.li/3bDLAV7

[Joshgw]

I can totally relate. I'm basically on a 23 year long depressive episode. Meds don't work, I been hospitalized, done ECT, TMS and ketamine. I do therapy twice a week and my psychiatrist once. But I also have no one to talk to. I feel totally alone. I can't talk to my wife bc we have major marriage troubles and she doesn't want to hear it. I have really no friends I can talk to bc frankly if you don't have depression yourself you're not going to understand anyway. When I cried in front of my parents they just didn't get it. They simply asked me what am I Crying about and told me to stop. I wouldn't worry about what your friends think or being a burden bc they probably don't understand unless they had depression too. That's why we have this place so people have a place to go and talk to people. I don't really have anyone to talk to outside of here either

[lovetodance2018]

How are you doing this week? I have been praying for you. Hugs