I thought I was okay. I'm not.

[BluePeppermint]

So, I start my new job tomorrow, and I know being nervous is a "normal" feeling, but I am beyond nervous. I'm already making myself physically ill with worry and anxiety. I know I'll have to take a Xanax just to get to the office and I hate feeling this way. I know my last job was horrible (not the work, the people), and I'm bringing a lot of those negative feelings with me. I'm in therapy and I am trying to change my way of thinking, but I'm just not there yet. Every change fills me with overwhelming dread. I honestly don't feel like I'm in control of my life. I feel like someone else is living it and I'm looking in from the outside. Any advice you have would be appreciated!

[Sillysausage234]

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

[BluePeppermint in reply to Sillysausage234]

I know, I try to tell myself that, but I still go back to the worrying. My last job did some serious damage to my self-esteem, my self-worth and pushed me over the edge. I only had panic attacks while driving until October. Then things at work got worse, and I started having panic attacks in the morning before work or after getting to the office. I know the worst that can happen is my new job isn't a good fit, but that makes me worry too. I not only support myself, but I support my ill ex husband, so I have to have a job, and I can't take another pay cut (new job pays $8k less than my old job did). That's how bad my last job was. I took a huge pay cut.

[Sillysausage234 in reply to BluePeppermint]

Sorry ..☹️..that’s a Crap situation....worrying like that sucks but at least you realise you are in the driving seat ....hope the job is ok might turn out to be.....work on the self worth thing affirmation helps retrain your brain

[BluePeppermint in reply to Sillysausage234]

Thanks. I've heard all good things about the firm I am going to work for and even though I'm freaking out, I'm still really excited. I know my old job was the problem, not me. Will let you know how it goes!

[Sillysausage234 in reply to BluePeppermint]

Lots of positives to focus on then .....that’s where you need to channel your energy!....good luck yes ...give us a situation report 😊

[Noquarter]

I honestly would not discount the Xanax just yet. Maybe it will get you through the initial phases of anxiety. I think it’s great that you started a new job. Don’t let the anxiety define you. I’m a firm believer in modern medicine. If that’s what helps then by all means.

[BluePeppermint in reply to Noquarter]

Thank you. I don't mind taking the Xanax, but I want to learn how to deal with the anxiety instead of masking it. If that makes sense.

[Agora1 in reply to BluePeppermint]

BluePeppermint, I hear you. I believe that there is always a time and place

for Xanax but finding other alternatives are always in your best interest.

When I was on Xanax and having therapy, I used that time to acquire other tools

that didn't involve popping a pill.

That's when I discovered the benefits of Meditation and Breathing. Practicing it daily

got me to the point that I no longer needed my benzos. Actually those tools got me out

of the house after being Agoraphobic for 5 years.

It is my go to when driving, shopping, sitting quietly watching tv as well as when

first waking up to quiet those morning anxieties. I regenerate during the afternoon

by spending 5-10 min breathing calmly and exhaling slowly. And last but not least,

once again before bed which provides a deep peaceful sleep.

It takes a little time to get to the point of coming off meds and using natural methods

to relax which can be done anywhere even at work.

Good Luck tomorrow on your first day. Let us know how you do. We will continue giving

you little tips that will make it easier each day. xx

[BluePeppermint in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! I've considered meditation. I think I should definitely look into it.

[Noquarter in reply to BluePeppermint]

I thoroughly understand but sometimes we need a little help.

[Believeinyourself123]

Starting a new job it's normal to feel the way you do. Just keep going and with therapy it takes a lot of time getting better. The good news is that you are getting help. Maybe tonight do some relaxing activities yoga, meditation, a bubblebath, deep breathing, tea or hot cocoa. Just some suggestions. I wish you the very best ❤❤❤

[BluePeppermint in reply to Believeinyourself123]

Thank you so much. I will definitely being doing some kind of meditation.

[Believeinyourself123 in reply to BluePeppermint]

You are very welcome. Take care❤❤

[Believeinyourself123 in reply to Believeinyourself123]

How are you feeling today?

[BluePeppermint in reply to Believeinyourself123]

Thank you for asking. As I expected, I was a total mess when I woke up (hours too early). Made myself physically ill, and I threw up. I needed two Xanax to get myself calm enough were I was able to function. When I got there, the Office Administrator asked how I was feeling. She knows I am in therapy so I was honest and told her I was really nervous and anxious. She asked why, and I said probably my bad experience at my last job. She told me not to worry about that, things would be different here, some other nice stuff. Immediately set me at ease.