lonely in marriage

[BALIAR2]

I am with my partner from more than 12 years. We met in our early 20's and now we are in our mid 30's. any time I am stressed or going through a hard phase my husband tells me not to share details with him. He either criticizes me or tells me that he has his own stress to deal with. he would rather not know what I am going through.

[b1b1b1]

This is unfortunate, but I think you have to decide if you love him enough anyway and are happy enough with him to tolerate this situation. If you are otherwise happy, you might consider getting a therapist with whom you can talk about your problems and stressful situations.

[Tigerlilly7]

Hello

I’m in a similar situation with my partner, he does not understand mental health and the way I get anxious and depressed. I feel very lonely with him but do not want to leave him either. I have been told to leave the f I not happy but it’s not that simple.

I have been trying to speak to people online that understand more and hopefully you can to. And find some comfort in that you are not alone n feeling this way.

I’m always here to chat if you want someone to rant or chat to.

Take it easy x

[TheGalician]

I am sorry for the situation you find yourself in. Life absent that sense of connection with a partner can feel very isolating.

Do you ever feel that sense of oneness (joy and peace and connection).

[Bill181]

I'm so sorry you're going through that he should be there for you and to make u feel safe comforted .what I'd give to have someone by my side but there's dum men out there taking woman for granted and I'm here sitting alone asking myself what's wrong with me why isn't someone picking me

[WickNeo]

I’m sad to hear that your partner has forgotten his role as a husband in “sickness and in health”. Any chance you can get him to a family therapist to translate the severity of your need for support to him? I hope you have your own personal therapist as well. Therapists can help you through your own issues as well as put your relationship change in perspective.

Personally, I chose to be alone rather than deal with emotional neglect, verbal abuse or ridicule/criticism about my mental health.

I wish you peace through this tumultuous transition.

[Midori]

That is a dreadfully unkind thing for anyone to say to their spouse.

OK, first, do you work or are you a stay at home? Second, are there any children? Third, could you afford to live solo?

If he won't converse with you and shuts you down, it is abuse.

Are there other red flags? Do you go out as a couple or solo? Does he object to you having friends? Has he moved you away from family and friends? Does he keep you short of money, or complain about the way you keep the house? These, and others are all forms of abuse, but they tend to creep up subtly in a marriage without you noticing them.

Has he ever hit or shoved you? These are all red flags in a marriage.

Do you love him, enough to suggest couple's Counselling? Would he agree?

To me, it all screams Get Out! but then I'm a survivor of precisely this kind of abuse.

If you decide to leave, you can't keep going back. I did, several times, and it just got worse.

I had to run in the end as I had two small children to protect, just at that age to be influenced by that behaviour.

Please, please be careful, and weigh up your circumstances before making a decision, but once you make it, prepare to stick with it.

Cheers, Midori

[compasnet]

He Ned to know you're special and should be treated special like the person you are.

[Stinkpot]

I can totally relate to your situation!! My husband is the same!! All through our marriage he has always made it clear that he can only handle his own problems and doesn’t want to hear about mine. Thank God for my caring and supportive female friends.