Lonely

[Callie67]

Anyone else ever experience a horrible, deep lonely feeling? My husband is asleep on the couch next to me and I’m feeling it. And it’s not anything he’s doing wrong.. I just hate having this feeling. Don’t really know how to describe it.

:/

[explorerPHX]

I totally know what you are talking about. That terrible feeling that you are completely by yourself, even if there are other people in the room. not feeling connected to anyone, just an awful feeling.

[Callie67 in reply to explorerPHX]

It is definitely awful, kind of debilitating in a way. Hoping it passes soon.

[crazychkinwa59]

Sounds like you are bored... Maybe a walk?

[Callie67 in reply to crazychkinwa59]

Boredom could be part of it. Too late for a walk here but I just took my night medicine so maybe I’ll be in dream land soon lol

[Hidden]

Yes. I feel very lonely every day. I sit in my room all night alone with an unemployed husband, a daughter that doesn't respect me and a mother in law who we have to live with that picks on me for my weight and appearance. I work hard every day, take care of my daughter and bills, cleaning, grocery shopping etc and no one else helps at all. I want to move out after two years here. I'm 45! My husband won't work and lives the life of a teenager. Im so tired and so alone so I know how you feel.

[crazychkinwa59 in reply to Hidden]

I am really sorry you are feeling stuck. I understand that you are living with mother-in-law. Sounds like she is verbally abusive to you because you live under her roof. PROVE HER WRONG! Dump her son, take your kids and MOVE ON! You are worth so much more than the way they are treating you! You can do this! And remember, size does not matter! The heart does!!!! Jewels

[Hidden in reply to crazychkinwa59]

Thank you. I can't support myself and my daughter alone. Believe me I have done the math and it would destroy her to not be with dad.

I'm not concerned with size because I have more to offer now that I am older and wiser. Before I just had beauty and nothing else.

[Callie67 in reply to Hidden]

That sounds terrible! My brother just moved in with his mother in law and he’s having a rough time with it too. My husband works hard though, so I understand when he falls asleep early. Guess it’s just hitting me a little harder tonight. Can you talk to your husband about things?

[Hidden in reply to Callie67]

I have for two years. He's petrified to find a job. He has social anxiety. I understand but sometimes in life you have to suck it up and do it anyway. It won't kill you. Gotta move forward or else.

[crazychkinwa59 in reply to Hidden]

Wow, Here I am sorry your husband has anxiety. This is an unforgiving ailment. But you want him to just Buck up and get over it? Seems like you need to get over it! Put on your BIG girl panties and move on since Bucking up is so easy.. Your words, you said he should just get over it. YOU TOO!

[Hidden in reply to crazychkinwa59]

Ok. Deserved. But I mean its necessary to make money for our family so you have to keep trying. I have done some really hard things in my life that were necessary. It won't change if you don't do something different. It's not an option to just give up and live with mom forever.

[crazychkinwa59 in reply to Hidden]

Get over it and get 2 jobs. it's easy! Right? Just get over yourself, you married him!

[Hidden in reply to crazychkinwa59]

Yes. He was not like this for years. I'm not gonna work two jobs when my husband can work. I'm not gonna get over it either. I didn't use those words. Some things are hard but as an adult we have to try or we won't get any results. There is no excuse to be lazy and do absolutely nothing in life. I have been through way more traumas and I keep going and take care of my responsibilities.

[Callie67 in reply to Hidden]

Ok this is kinda awkward but could you two please stop fighting in my comments?

[Hidden in reply to Callie67]

Sorry Callie. If we want different results we have to try to do things differently. That's all. There is no reason to keep saying I can't in life. If we don't we will always be in the very same circumstances.

[Marshall64 in reply to crazychkinwa59]

How is that helpful or supportive?

[Hidden in reply to Marshall64]

Agree. I wasn't trying to start an argument. Just stating facts and I never said get over it. I said suck it up and look for a job anyway otherwise we can give up and live with mom forever. That's not acceptable and doesn't help with moving on with life at all. I think you have to keep fighting. Is that all that bad?

[gfranklin12 in reply to Hidden]

OMG... I see why you are having anxiety love!!! There seems like there us also some sort of mental abuse occurring in your home. Try and speak, with someone in that field... they will be able to help you sort some issues out in your life😉😉😉!

[Hidden in reply to gfranklin12]

Thank you.

[Blissmeister]

I can totally relate. It happens to me sometimes even when I’m with friends and/or family.

[Callie67 in reply to Blissmeister]

It feels weird to experience it when people are still around.

[SeaDreamer70]

Gosh... absolutely. I'm so sorry. I totally know what you mean. I feel that so often and I hate it. It's like I'm in a huge void, completely alone, even though my husband is just a few feet away. I don't understand why it happens...but when you feel that way, try to remember you're not alone. Others here are going through it too...maybe at the exact time. I am...right now. And I understand. Bless your heart. Sending a big virtual hug! 💜

[Callie67 in reply to SeaDreamer70]

You’re too sweet! Sending a hug right back. I usually feel it when I’m alone, sometimes it seems worse feeling it when someone’s right there with you. I think you’re right about the void. It’s like an all consuming void.

[SeaDreamer70 in reply to Callie67]

Aww...you are so kind! ❤️ Yes...that void is exactly that. It's so awful. And I agree...I hate feeling that way with others around. Gosh. It's hard. Hang in there! I'm trying to as well. ❤️🌷🦋

[Hidden]

I understand that feeling hun 😔 I usually just have to distract my mind to stop that’s otherwise my overthinking goes crazy.

Try occupying yourself with something x

[Callie67 in reply to Hidden]

I started rewatching Dawson’s Creek so I put that on. It’s definitely helping!

[Hidden in reply to Callie67]

That’s a great place to start x even starting up new hobbies is great too x

How are you feeling today ? X

[Callie67 in reply to Hidden]

Kind of anxious/sad right now. I’m dealing with a concussion so I’m limited in what I can do but I try to do chores around the house to stay busy. How is your day going?

[Hidden]

yes, it will pass

[Callie67 in reply to Hidden]

Very true! Actually passed much quicker this time around.

[Hidden in reply to Callie67]

It's great when we can finally get that, it will pass.

[-Sasha-]

Is it only when your husband is asleep or when he's awake too? I ask because I used to get like this with my ex, but always only when he was asleep. He couldn't fall asleep if I wasn't next to him and I would dread the sound of his snoring because snoring meant loneliness (weird i know) and I would silently cry my eyes out next to him. Logically i knew he was tired because he worked long hours, but logic isn't welcome in that hell. It was an awful feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone and I'm so sorry you have to experience it. My suggestion is to watch a comedy. I had finally started to watch The Office and I was laughing so hard I wouldn't even notice the snoring at times. Doesn't hurt to try right 🤷 Best Wishes

~S~

[Callie67 in reply to -Sasha-]

It’s usually when I’m alone but then I noticed it happening when he’d fall asleep. And I completely get the snoring!! Not weird at all because I’ll feel the same way about it. I’ll usually write in my diary but I started rewatching an old show and that helped me through it. I feel like you totally get what I mean. 😊

[-Sasha- in reply to Callie67]

🙂 I'm glad we can relate and happy you found something to distract you. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me. Hope you sleep well tonight.

~S~

[Callie67 in reply to -Sasha-]

Thank you, and feel free to do the same!

[Readysetshi]

I wrote a blog post about this last month it was hard to find the right words. But the feeling sticks with you. The blog is resultsvary.com. I talk about the woahs and intense highs and lows of life. Check it out, but only if you’re interested in that type of thing. But also I feel tht way some days when my bf is asleep or playing his game

[Callie67 in reply to Readysetshi]

Thanks, I’ll take a look!

[Booklover0219]

Yes I definitely know this feeling.

[Rorabaugh]

Absolutely. In my first marriage we slowly drifted apart. Started doing everything separately. Laundry, buying groceries and cooking dinners, bank accounts, etc. it was like we were roommates. I assumed once I got married I would never be lonely again because I would have my best friend by my side ever day. But I was never as lonely as when I was with him. I don’t have any tips to help, as i’m Just starting my recovery journey, but it helps me to know someone gets it.

[Callie67 in reply to Rorabaugh]

I’m sorry you had to experience that, definitely not how you should feel in a marriage. Did you wind up staying together? My loneliness doesn’t really stem from my husband though, it’s something I’ve had happen for years. I think I should have worded my original post differently.