Lonely

[mkat13]

Even when people are around me I still feel lonely. I have so many thoughts in my head that won’t shutup. It’s hard to talk to other people about how I feel because they don’t understand. Do you ever feel like nobody understands how you feel? I feel the only way to shut that voice up in my head is by sleeping since I’m not thinking when I sleep.

[hypercat54]

Well we understand here so talk to us. I can't add any more at the moment as you give very little information about your issues and your circumstances. Do you feel able to do that?

[mkat13 in reply to hypercat54]

There’s just a lot of negative thoughts that goes through my head. I have this test I have to pass and I’ve failed 4 times already and it just makes me hate myself more and makes me feel not smart. I never feel good enough. I used to self harm for years and attempted suicide and I still just have a lot of negative thoughts and when things don’t work out, I get overwhelmed and very mad at myself. I blame myself a lot and think everything is always my fault.

[hypercat54 in reply to mkat13]

Well I have some positive thoughts for you. You are a trier and don't give up easily. You have stopped self harming and attempting suicide. You are trying to make your life better. You are aware that things aren't right for you and are trying to improve them.

We all fail at times and that is just part of being human. Everyone does it, not just you and it's not because you are a failure or inadequate, but because sometimes you aren't in the right place at that time. When conditions are right then things fall into place a lot more easily.

I wonder if you are suffering from depression and that's where all the negative thoughts are coming from?

[mkat13 in reply to hypercat54]

I am trying to make myself better and I’ve come a long way but still have a long ways to go I think. I used to have severe depression and anxiety but my depression is like on and off now it’s not so much as it used to be.

[Zhangliqun in reply to mkat13]

Hypercat54 gives good advice.

I would add that it could be that maybe you're not that good at this particular thing you are testing for -- but SO WHAT? No-one has aptitudes for everything, there are some things that come easy to most that for some of us are a struggle at best, but again, so what? There are likely other things you're good at that most people have difficulty with.

The Devil tries to get you to think that if you're not good at this particular thing, you're a moron in general, and that even this thing you can't help is something you are (somehow at the same time) doing on purpose just to annoy people so you need to be gotten rid of or at least loathed by all in Heaven, Hell and Earth for all eternity -- which is just silly and self-contradictory when you analyze it so have a good laugh at his expense.

This is all, of course, assuming that you really have no aptitude for what you're testing for which I have no way of knowing. It could be that you could actually do it without that much effort but you've gotten yourself kinked up into a mental block about it. Focus on positive happy things that de-kink and relax you. I like to look at pictures of fall foliage on line or go to hardware stores and feel the atmosphere of constructiveness and possibility in there, or think about lop-eared rabbits hopping around and munching on baby carrots.

Your positives will likely be different but as long as it fills the space in your mind that the negative thoughts usually take up, it will gradually change your brain biochemistry and thought patterns in the right direction.

[mkat13 in reply to Zhangliqun]

Thank you for saying that my parents have told me about how the devil tries to make you feel like that. They keep telling me to push through and keep going. I just don’t know if I should keep going or if this is Gods way of saying I shouldn’t do this for my career.

[Miss90dynamite in reply to mkat13]

Hi mkat 13 I find a virtual - video call easier than this kind of group. I find seeing people easier to express myself than here anyways- it is write what others are saying sounds like you beat yourself up unnecessarily. I have been like this to as one assessment I have taken I have had about 12 attempts at it and still haven’t got the correct exam pass for it... so your better than me 😊 try distract yourself. Do something you enjoy. Set few hours for these things. Give yourself breaks then come back. So true what teachers say about breaks. Sounds like you could be overworking yourself. When you study just write down key points before starting the actual exam/ assessment?....

[mkat13 in reply to Miss90dynamite]

That’s a great idea and thank you for reaching out about your experience! I’ll definitely have to try some of those options!

[JohnPB]

I have also felt alone when around others. Being able to connect with just one person is better than not connecting with anyone in a sea of people.

[mkat13 in reply to JohnPB]

I agree!

[JohnPB in reply to mkat13]

Thanks for reply.

[pink318]

“Do you ever feel like nobody understands how you feel?” This reminds me of my friend. I was just talking to her this morning and she mentioned that it’s hard to open up her feelings to others because of worries that they would not understand. I sometimes feel that way.

It’s good that you shared here in the group. You are not alone and you can talk to us about how you truly feel. We are here for you. I hope things will brighten up for you soon. God bless.

[mkat13 in reply to pink318]

I completely agree with how your friend is feeling and thank you I’m definitely going to be more open with the group since you all can understand. Thank you

[pink318 in reply to mkat13]

Hi mkat,

How are you today?I hope you are feeling better.

Take care.

[Miss90dynamite]

Hi mkat 13

I am sorry to hear you have thoughts in your head.

I am guessing they are all negative things. What kind of thoughts are going round in your head? Have you been in touch with your GP? I belong to a virtual group meeting with others who are going through similar things and I have found that very helpful to see people on the screen x

[amberbily]

I feel lonely all the time as well. Everyone says you are never alone, which is true. However, you are correct I don’t think anyone really understands. Unfortunately, I have a very difficult time sleeping and I have to many things I MUST do and just about kills me. I understand

[mkat13 in reply to amberbily]

I’m so sorry you have a hard time sleeping and have so much to do what do you do to calm down/relax?

[amberbily in reply to mkat13]

I listen to guided meditations, breathing, sometimes journal…. I really don’t have much time for myself

[mkat13 in reply to amberbily]

The guided meditations sound awesome do you like doing those? I’m so sorry you don’t have much time for yourself I feel like that is so important.

[Tigerlilly7]

Yeah I feel lonely when around people , hopefully people on here can relate . The voices can you hear them it is it thoughts you mean? If u hear voices you can get help with that. If thoughts learn to not believe everything you think. That’s what I try to do. Be kind to yourself . Speak to yourself like you would a friend. I find it hard to connect with people and I feel when I do i scare people away.

[mkat13 in reply to Tigerlilly7]

I feel the same way and I find it hard to be kind to myself I am not very nice to myself. I think too negative of myself no matter what others say about me.

[Tigerlilly7 in reply to mkat13]

Yes I get that I do the same. Try not to listen though it’s our mind and not always fact , remind yourself that

[animefan94]

For me, I think when people in general are around me I can feel lonely. The key is to get the RIGHT kind of people around me. Then I don’t.

[mkat13 in reply to animefan94]

That’s probably my issue.

[Midori]

Even Psychs can have a bad day, but I think she was rather high handed with you. Can you see another one?

[mkat13 in reply to Midori]

Yes I can.

[Midori]

Probably best to change, then.

Cheers, Midori

[CherishedGal]

Yes been there and done that!! I have found that having too much time on hands puts me into my "poor poor me syndrome" which makes me totally depressed. For me, the answer has been to redirect my mind from thinking about myself all the time to thinking about others and what I can do to make a difference in my little area of the world. Believe me when you get out and see what others are having to deal with, it definitely redirects your mind. And if you can give them just a little bit of relief it's unreal the Joy you receive. Whenever I feel my slipping back into that negative mindset I have 3 books that I always turn to that has helped me to redirect my mind and helped me to go back to the basics when I feel the need-“Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.

“Life 101” by John-Roger & Peter McWilliams

“The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren

Hope some of this helps you in finding the Joy in your life that you can share with all of those around you.

[TheRedPoet]

I definitely understand those feelings. Especially feeling alone in a room full of people. Knowing no one truly understands me and my ever racing thoughts