Depression and Marriage

[WreckItMeg25]

I'd asked before but am reposting -

How does your marriage work with depression/anxiety. I get so quiet and distant from him. He's a good man and lets me be but I know it hurts him

[Sprinkle1]

I have suffered with depression/anx. on and off all my life. I depend on med's they help me a lot, and I have a wonderful therapist. Do you take med's or go to therapy? Have you talked to your Dr. about the way you feel? There is help, seek it out. I have had to change med's due to building up tolerance, right now I am on Cymbalta 50 mg daily, Trazadone 100 mg at bed time. I also take Gabapentin 900 mg daily. I attempt to get exercise each day, listen to nice music, dance around my living room, eat a healthy diet, No junk food. I was taking Lorazepam for several month the anxiety was so bad, it works for me, I am off of it now. Attempt to talk to your husband, it will help him understand your situation. Write to us, so many of us suffer, I am in remission at this time and feel sane. We offer support, love, send you peace, joy, big hugs......I am 78 and plan to keep on Living......love n hugs........

[anylop77]

I went thru that... If you have the support of a professional you could ask for help. I didn't want her to share my downs with my husband but when she did some of it, it was a great relief, one of my stressors was down.

[WreckItMeg25 in reply to anylop77]

I do talk to my husband. He just doesn't know why to say or do to help.

[Hidden in reply to WreckItMeg25]

My wife doesn’t know how to deal either.

She loves me but resents the depression and the many days it has taken my attention away from everyone .

I get more perspective from the other looney tunes on here ❤️

[marsdream]

Try talking with your spouse and let him walk with you through this. Don't do this alone, plus you should try and get counseling. When I have anxiety moments, usually I am missing friends or family. So, I buy my ticket and travel to see them. My husband lets me go for the most part, but if he is in objection to it, then I will wait usually a month or two, then buy my ticket and go. As long as you are upfront and honest about the issues that you are having; your husband giving you space shows that he supports you. So as I said before go get help with the anxiety and depression and don't walk this alone.

[WreckItMeg25 in reply to marsdream]

Seems so hard to even talk about it or even know what I need from him. Guess I don't know what to say anymore. "Sorry I'm sad. Heh, depression" gets old.

[WreckItMeg25]

I did therapy before which lead to medication and it does help. I struggle to talk at times so when I can I do communicate with my husband. He knows I don't mean the distance or the moods etc but It still strains our relationship. He doesn't know what to do for me.

[marsdream in reply to WreckItMeg25]

Sometimes just having a person being present and with you during the depressive mood can help. My kid has bouts with depressive moods. I don't want to leave them alone when they are in that state. I just sit and try to talk and keep the conversation going. Maybe bringing up some ice cream or a favorite treat. That way, the conversation opens up more and I can hear what the problem is at the moment. Your husband, friend or counselor can just have that listening ear.

[Hidden]

I was with someone for 20 years before it sadly ended. I would go on Amazon or to the library- if it's open, and try to look up some books on marriage and relationships. Even though you're talking about having depression, this also overlaps into the way you and your husband are communicating or not communicating. If you find a book that seems to be good and insightful, ask your husband to read it too and ask him what he thinks. And this isn't really a book about marriage, but one book I thought was an interesting read was Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man by Steve Harvey. It shows in a humorous way how men and women are going to think differently about certain things. Take care!!!

[WreckItMeg25 in reply to Hidden]

Extremely helpful thank you! I'm very sorry your marriage didn't last. Did they not put in the work? It sounds like you were -

[Hidden in reply to WreckItMeg25]

We both struggled a lot financially and that wasn't good, plus from my side of it, I sometimes felt like I had enough of my own problems to handle and I couldn't try to help him with his on top of it. He was a good man, but I was constantly frustrated and it just wasn't working out.

[cbgrace1980]

I keep things open and honest with my spouse about how I'm feeling. I see a doctor every few months to check in and make sure I'm doing healthy things, and I have learned tools to realize what to do when I'm feeling down. I hope that you are able to connect with him and that he will show you how much he loves you.

[Hidden]

I was never married but I did have a fiancee who lived with me. Ik whenever I was down just having her in the room next to me made everything better.