Relationship Anxiety - It's sooooo hard.

[sflory68]

I am in what I believe is a loving relationship. We have been dating for 18months and it was understood to be exclusive from the very beginning. I have been in an abusive relationship in the past as well as one that cheated on me. Although this relationship seems solid most of the time I cant help but let my imagination run wild over the little things like not calling me for days or not responding to my texts.

He is very attentive to me when around, i say this because we live 3 hours from each other. I didn't feel like i needed him within my reach every day but I am beginning to wonder if that deep down that is one of my requirements.

My anxiety takes over and i cannot focus or sometimes even function until I get his attention..... is anyone else dealing with something similar? I would love to get in touch and work through it.

[101315]

Wow ... the amazement at seeing some of my thoughts written by a stranger. It is not so difficult to fathom that others can share feelings and thoughts in similar situations. I also have some relationship woes very accurate to what you are experiencing and they have hindered my well being as of late.

I am not comfortable discussing the intimate details openly as my story is not the subject. Instead of that I choose to give my best effort to quell some of the apprehensions you are experiencing. Physical contact is a huge part of the bonding process in any relationship not just lovers. Long distance relationships struggle for mostly that reason

Since you are relatively close to each other you have something that can be incorporated into a solution. Make dates to spend time together and clarify your needs in between those moments. If you are exclusive and both of you are in agreement, set aside 10-20 minutes of each day for each other for whatever you need it for. I like the last moments of each day for expressing my thoughts. An “I love you” or “good night” can do great things for a relationship that struggles with a lack of physical availability.

I am not a relationship therapist or even the worlds greatest lover so my comments may not be for you. Your solution will come from communication within your relationship. As long as communication is open, there is hope.

[sflory68 in reply to 101315]

Thanks so much.....just knowing there is another human out there that is going through the same thing is comforting. He and I see each other at least once a month and although we dont talk or text every day it doesn't go for long. We never leave each other without scheduling the next visit, he is a school teacher and i am an IT pro so weekends are always an option since 3 hours is doable for that. I cant help but go into oblivion when he doesn't call or text me for days. I know he is busy but I cant help but be selfish since that communication is all i have in between. I always feel like he could easily just forget about me but he assures me that is not possible. We are very vulnerable with each other and have even talked about marriage and him moving to me. I hope im not ruining a good thing just cause I cant trust myself.......