I'm nothing. I'm important to nobody. There are better ones. I'm just walking trauma. I'm a wreck that can't do anything and nobody loves

[Against_the_current]

Went to university today. When i tried to ask sth i got interrupted because it's not important and i'm not asking right and 10 more critics to me for just asking a question. Don't say "school does this and don't dare to speak". Because i tried to distance and protect myself from everything and it doesn't work. And i was having hope for writing, it's my dream and i can't do anything else as we see i just leave the house and break down, but i'm not winning the literature contest i was hoping for since 3 months. My classmate is. My classmate always have to be perfect. Perfect looks. Perfect score. Loved by everyone. Leaders in 257434 activities, clubs, the volunteering... While i'm just a wreck. Who can love me being a "psycho"?! The person i need left me for this. People aren't even listening to me, i'm just a psycho. I can't study, i'm just a psycho. My roommates get invited to birthdays, proms, whatever, i'm just an annoying weirdo living here. I pay bills not her boyfriend but when he showers, it's okay, when i do is "don't use much water" and "don't use much water, i need it cause i will go to work, you don't". I'm having really bad gastritis and haven't eaten normal food in 3 days and now too dizzy to buy sth or cook sth that taste like stone and paper

[AnxiousSilver]

"Went to university today. When i tried to ask sth i got interrupted because it's not important and i'm not asking right and 10 more critics to me for just asking a question."

Ignore the critics.. Questions are meant to be asked if you don't know the answer.

[AnxiousSilver]

"And i was having hope for writing, it's my dream and i can't do anything else as we see i just leave the house and break down,"

Always follow your dream.

Listen.. Some dreams will have setbacks, but those setbacks are usually (& hopefully) learning opportunities.

.

Try your best to ignore your critics. (unless you truly believe that what they said could help you out)

Try (and I am usually guilty of this too) to ignore your inner critic.

& Always remember that we are here.

[Against_the_current in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Thank you so much

[Louie35]

Im sorry to hear that. Don't ever give up on your dream of becoming a writer. You're not a psycho, plus most great writers were considered 'weird', Proust, Holderlin, Bukowski, Nietzsche, Thoreau, Gogol...the list goes on and on! Ignore the assholes around you! Keep going at it!

[Against_the_current in reply to Louie35]

Thanks, needed to hear this!

[Lookingforhope20100]

I understand what you are going through I'm a writer too its my passion and my coping mechanism. I'm alone I don't get invited out I don't have any friends and the one friend I did have chose his girlfriend over a 5 year friendship with me. I needed him and he walked away from me even my family calls me a loser and lost cause so I get it if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here

[Against_the_current in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

Thank you. Yeah, i feel you and thank you for letting me know it's not only me. Here too

[Against_the_current]

Thank you Luna 😭🤗

[Lookingforhope20100]

Of course your never alone on here and always important to someone

[Against_the_current in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

Thanks, i hope so

[Blueruth]

I thought of this post while listening to billy Jean king. First of all you should listen to people like her. 90% of your classmates will not ever have that wisdom.

What she said is that everyone talks about improving their weaknesses. Improve your strengths instead. You enjoy writing. You will always be learning it so focus on that instead of who won a contest and who got invited to a party. A year down the road you won’t even be thinking about it. There are so many ways to write. Spend time learning that craft. Practice it. Eventually you will find joy and success. Every one of us is an influencer in some way. You just need to figure out how.

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

Thanks for the inspiration

[Blueruth in reply to Against_the_current]

Find better people to inspire you. It doesn’t need to be people IRL. I am not a writer but I think Stephen king wrote a book about writing that people rave about.

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

I will search. And i really need ppl to inspired me but i can't find them

[Blueruth in reply to Against_the_current]

Maybe school isn't the place to be looking. Art is an amazing place to look for people you can relate to. Go to some galleries. I am inspired by Cindy Sherman. I took a trip to San Francisco just to see her work in person!

Also hunt down podcasts. a zillion inspirational people there. I love Hidden Brain because it is evidence based but these people have so many good ideas. Below is a link to the regular series they do about "unsung heroes" -- people that inspires the host that nobody hears about.

How about here? There isn't anyone that impresses you?

hiddenbrain.org/myunsunghero/

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

Thanks just i feel low seeing how sucseful everyone else is and galleries here i don't get to talk to anyone at galleries, there's mostly nobody or grumpy old people and i just feel bad with myself. Thanks for the podcast and for being here

[Blueruth in reply to Against_the_current]

So….I think you are missing my point…I didn’t suggest a gallery to *meet* people. I suggested it to find art work you can relate to and be inspired by. Most museums do free tours which give you further insight. The magic is you have something of interest to discuss that isn’t school. Get outside yourself. I promise it will feel better.

Besides I bet they aren’t grumpy and there is nothing wrong with older people and younger people talking. You do it on this forum. You might even find something in common if you can put down your armor.

Everyone experiences envy for what someone else has. That is just life. You are letting jealousy drag you down. As I said before it is critical to improve what you are *good* at.

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

It aplies to every art place but even i don't find anyone it's nice places to take myself to

[Blueruth in reply to Against_the_current]

Old people? Yes they have time to go and they are wise enough to know what I just said and they aren’t worried about meeting people all the time…secret: you make fewer friends the older you get and you know it is not a bad thing.

[Against_the_current in reply to Blueruth]

But here it's different. I hope i can manage to go without getting agoraphobic