Family treating me worse in sobriety!?!? - Anxiety and Depre...

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Family treating me worse in sobriety!?!?

lovedogs51511 profile image
15 Replies

My family used to treat me shitty cause of the mental illness but treated me better when I was a drunk. Iv e got 7 1/2 years sober and I'm shocked at how much worse they treat me as a sober nicer person. Can't understand this at all. I'm finally not causing serious problems but hate me when I'm doing good. Makes no sense. I'm confused but try not to deal with them. They can think what they want. I'm the problem child in this family. Black sheep!! Its a crappy feeling knowing that I'm always the one with problems but they are perfect? Its same ol shit different day. I keep my distance. My mom moved me close to her but never wants me over to their house. Like I'm an embarrassment to her. I don't know how else to feel. Its a lonely life. Feeling never good enough to be liked by anyone. Oh well just had to get that out. Sorry guys.....hope you are all having a blessed day😄😄

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lovedogs51511
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15 Replies
Jamie2018 profile image
Jamie2018

Hope you feel better getting that out. That is really strange I don't understand it either. Keeping your distance is smart. How are those little b_____s at your job treating you? Hope it's going a little better for you

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply toJamie2018

Hiya thanks for responding! Its very confusing for me to understand why they are more disgusted with me now. Oh the little bitches they go hide and text and laugh at me with each other. Pisses me off but have no choice but to deal with them. Ugh. What pisses me off most about them is that when I need help in a crisis with difficult residents they are nowhere to be found. That's not fair to the residents ya know!! Its beyond immature and they gossip gossip gossip and they are nothing but drama! Too old for that shit. Hopefully,it will get better but they say nothing to me. Real nice right?? How ya doing Jamie??? You been good??

Jamie2018 profile image
Jamie2018 in reply tolovedogs51511

They are immature at work need to grow up. Eventually they will get bored and move on. Just don't let them know it bothers you. Smile and be nice to them kill them with kindness!

Don't have any advice dealing with your family maybe the same would work for them

I been ok. Still don't have a job but honestly I'm not looking that hard. I getting lazy

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply toJamie2018

I agree with ya they are immature! I'm trying to be kind to them but its killing me. If I could only let my anger out on them I'd feel better!!! Back drinking id fist fight them due to my violent drunken rages. Can't do that anymore so its pretty hard to be nice and stay sober!!! Lol. Went and had to run errands with my condescending mother and it was Hell!!! Just glad to be home alone!!! I got super lazy too when looking for jobs. I would wake up and say ill look for one tomorrow or the next day. The only reason I got this one was cause they were desperate looking for ppl. That and my controlling mom told me to apply. It was close to home so I went for it. I got lucky but its only part time. Nothing real exciting that's for sure. You'll get that perfect job soon. I just know it. I totally understand how you feel tho. Hate looking for work!! Hope you have a great night😄😄😎😎✌

in reply tolovedogs51511

like u said...........there it is..............shes condescneing as hell.........

of course that triggers anyone

of course it does

in reply tolovedogs51511

very obvious what the problem is- hey george how the balding doing? hey geroge now dont be sensitve about it i only ask that each time i see u and its the first thing out of my mouth

u ge the point.........

they need to talk about other subjects and forget wahtever

whereas friends and new people dont talk about geroge wheelchar or baldness or that he had an accideent seven yearas ago..........why contantly remind people...........

they** need to work ...........u r NOT be ing too senstrive

thats not being a friend...............

or famly

tehy** need to get couseloing

true friends.............want to go play baseball or a picnic ride bikes?

u get the point

soo sorry............

the way they talk to and at u is painful..............rightly so........

theyd last twnety seconds with me.............dont have time to waste my tme on non friends

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Weirdos! You deserve better than that. You are amazing and worth it. You are a good person. oh well 😔 just makes me mad

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply toStarrlight

Your too sweet my friend! Thank you. Sucks cause I'm waiting on my mom to go shopping since I don't have car. Got no sleep last night at all and I have no energy to deal with her today. I'm already falling asleep!!!😴😴 How ya been doing?

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply tolovedogs51511

I’m frustrated with my racing crazy thoughts, with myself, overwhelmed with life but friends make it easier to bare

How’s everything? I hope your shopping will be a good time and hope that you can sleep soon!!!

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply toStarrlight

Oh my God so am I!! Racing racing racing!!! I totally get what you mean. I agree the ppl I talk to like you get me thru some tough days!! Things are ok. Shopping was freaking hell on earth!!!! The worst!!! She never stands near me. She tells me turn around, go over there blah blah. She'll go do something somewhere else and barely be seen anywhere with me. I'm like pond scum to her. She makes me feel absolutely low as dirt. She's constantly condescending telling me what to do controlling my every move. I hate it! She wanted me near her and now that I'm close wants to never be seen with me!!! Unbelievable! I wish I could pack up and leave Utah and get 2 hrs away,back home in las vegas!!! That would be a dream. Hate it here in Utah. My parents never ask me to their house NEVER. I feel like hear we go now I'm closer she feels the need to control control and talk down to me. She pisses me the he'll off!!- I'm sorry I can't stand her! I just need sleep but I am sick of her s..t!! Hope you and your family are doing GREAT!!! I know your kids are overjoyed!! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving! Ill be glad when holidays are over. I'm alone so holidays suck for me cause I don't have a dog yet. Ill be working Xmas eve and xmas so not to thrilling. Hugs for Coco!!!🐾🐾 Hugs my friend 😄😄😎😎✌

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply tolovedogs51511

((((((((((Hug))))))))) that IS unbelievable my friend. So sorry about your mom’s behavior. You deserve so much better. Just remember when she does that how amazing you are what a truely beautiful person inside and out and she’s the one with the problem. Love to you ❤️

lovedogs51511 profile image
lovedogs51511 in reply toStarrlight

Thank Starr!!! Love you! Your a sweet, kind soul with a gentle ❤!!!😊

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply tolovedogs51511

❤️

Pagesofwords profile image
Pagesofwords

I’m sorry for your difficulties with your family. I wonder if the family members who seem to hurt you worse now that you are sober do so because they are still hurt and angry at your behavior when you were drinking. They may feel the need for distance from you because they are not over the past that they had with you. This explanation makes logical sense to me. I had an experience with being mistreated in the past by an alcoholic who later became sober. Even though he stopped drinking, I never felt able to fully trust or forgive this person ever again. I just want to stay away from the memory of his behavior. It is a way of protecting myself. I know another person in recovery who has learned so much from Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with insights into his own behaviors and attitudes, learning how to change and improve himself and his relationships, accepting responsibility, etc. Have you ever tried AA? Personally, I have grown a lot through psychotherapy in how to live with my depression and relate in a healthy way to others. I applaud you for your sobriety and encourage you to take care of yourself and be around positive people who care. If you are able to, try to take time with your mom and be understanding and kind to her. I am sure she loves you but there may be too many problems she faces herself that she doesn’t know quite how to help you in the way you need. Life is so hard sometimes. You can be a role model of compassion to your mom. This is advice I gave myself years ago—and it has made all the difference. May God bless you and provide better days ahead.

echo the same- ud tell me..........its a famiy dynamic - the black sheep isnt

just the tree that get whacked by the lightening in the forest.......

iits their problem........

self medication is just that

numbs the pain as u know

family probl

not giving advice.........NOT - i finally moved away from the toxic dysfunction........

i dont have to please them.........its my life not theirs

feel **** for u big time tho (yes yes yes yes yes) family often the last to give respect..............

u get it here tho from LC dolp;hine and so many others

i dont try to get respect from my family-

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