I, too, am still struggling - Anxiety and Depre...

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I, too, am still struggling

carolk1955 profile image

I have lived in my own apartment for 7 months now. I have no family and no friends. I am very lonely most of the time. I recently adopted a cat, and that has helped, a little. But otherwise I have a 50 minute conversation with my therapist once a week. This is not my hometown and it never felt like home. I got married in 1992 and lived a decent life until 2017, when my husband died. Now I have no one. I just want to be able to spend a couple of hours with someone I have something in common with a few days a week. But I don't know how to find such a person, where to start looking. I'm thinking of starting with perhaps a common religion, which for me would be an exploration of Buddhism. I had a car and drove for 30 years before a social worker decided I should move to a personal care home and I lost my car. I miss that car alot. It was a symbol of my independence. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. I don't want to depend on others to drive me places. Especially now, with COVID, it is hard to find such people. I just needed to share that.

19 Replies

((hugs)) hang in there

Thank you!

Are there any neighbors you might have something in common with? There's also the next door app. A lady here posted she was looking for friends to hang with after retiring and got over 100 responses.meetup app too, facebook events.

Good luck to you. I deal with the same issues, no family and few friends I enjoy but thats mainly because of depression.

carolk1955 profile image
carolk1955 in reply to Marysblue

I do have a nextdoor app. It's been so long since I met people in person, I'm kind of scared to do it. I like the idea of meetup--I'm thinking of trying that.

I understand all about being alone. I also don't have any family, lots of acquaintances, but not what I consider friends. But when I was married for 25 years, I always felt alone and unhappy.Believe it or not, sometimes it's better to be alone than have a lot of toxic friends or people that aren't really on your side.

Think about the things you like to do and do them. Getting a car will make you feel better. You will be able to go places and possibly meet some people you like. Most important, you need to go outside and take a walk or sit on a bench or chair. Seeing the world in front of you does give you a less depressing mood. There is just so much you can watch TV, read, be on the computer, cleaning and cooking.

Get out there!!! I know you will feel better.

I do want a car again. I drove for 30 years with no tickets or accidents. But I am 66 years old and living on Social Security. I've read where the federal government gives away cars for free to low income people. Yes, that is true, I checked. Then all I need is money for insurance and registration and maintenance. It's been so long since I traveled anywhere, even ate in a restaurant, something I used to do all the time, and enjoyed. I know most people who are 66 years old are still driving. It's a dream that I hope will come true.

It sounds like you are having a hard time but so are all of us on there in different ways. Come on there when you need some support and human contact You can message me anytime ☺️

I see I can message you from your profile page. I will do that. Thank you for your support.

I know exactly how this is. I recently listened to a podcast that talked about making friends as adults and how difficult it is because in school we're dropped into the box and then form friends based on our interests/who we get along with. Whereas in the real world - that box doesn't exist and so it's more difficult to meet friends that way. Meetup.com provides ways to meet friends through common interests so that may help. 😊

I've been thinking of trying meetup.com. I just have to get up the courage.

Baby steps: Start with a search of what you're interested in and go from there. It took me a bit before actually going to an event but trying is the first step. :)

Most of my friends are up north where I grew up or from uni so spread far and wide. No close friends in Somerset where I live. Tell me a bit more about yourself and your hobbies. We may have similar interests

I'm mostly into arts and crafts type stuff. What about you? ☺️

As a Christian, my church community has been such a blessing to me. There are many ladies who live alone that find fellowship with one another. Isolation is never healthy, I encourage you to reach out to any community association to see if there are any volunteer opportunities now that things are starting to open up. Thank goodness for furry friends, they are great little companions! Blessings.

carolk1955 profile image
carolk1955 in reply to KJnOTT

I was not brought up in a particular religious tradition. When I was in my teens, I realized I could not accept Christianity because of my own beliefs by that time. I am looking at a few other religious traditions. I am drawn to Buddhism but I'm not sure there is a temple locally. I'll keep looking. As a teenager, I volunteered in a hospital for several years. Then I went on to be employed there. I enjoyed the job very much. Then I suddenly decided to quit and move in with some guy I barely knew. That was a big mistake which I regret very much. I tried to get my job back at the hospital but they wouldn't rehire me.

If you live near me, we could go out to lunch. I am 70 years old, also live on SS and I live in a low income apartment that is really nice, and the people are nicer than when when I lived in a condo I rented in a resort that was 65 and I over. The people here are REAL people that understand. We have a lot in common with one another, but we are different in many ways. Thanks for telling me about that low income people can get free cars. You can E-mail me any time.

I hope you do get a car, but be careful and don't put yourself in any dangerous situations. I obviously can't drive post brain haemorrhage and I miss my loss of independence

I've met some really nice men on eHarmony.

i'm glad you are putting yourself out there on e-harmony, but do make sure you don't put yourself in any dangerous situations with men you don't fully know. The piece i wrote about 'what it's like to have a brain haemorage and survive is going to be published by the brain haemorage society. I'm really excited about becoming a published author, especially as i've just started writing my second novel. How is your recovery going?

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