My life has slowly fallen apart since 2002. I lost a corporate gig and never fully recovered. I initiated a divorce in 2010 and could no longer afford the house we were renting. Brain surgery in 2012. Successful but I haven't felt the same since. My savings dwindled after I finally left the corporate world in 2020, and now I live week to week and day to day. I had to beg for money a few months ago when my car died. I felt humiliated.
I don't want to hurt myself but I feel anxiety on and off all day. I feel like an idiot for the decisions I've made that brought me to this current state. I'm trying to figure out how to make changes but I have no confidence in my decisions. I also work 10-12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. My CPAP machine broke 9 months ago and I'm exhausted all the time from sleeping sitting up.
I'm hoping that joining this group will help.
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IntoTheWild5150
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welcome to this group. You will find a lot of understanding and compassionate people here. I understand your struggles and we have a lot in common. However, I am struggling at 70. I made some very poor decisions during my life and right now I am living day to day, like you. I’m unemployed, and have no one that I can ask for help. It’s very frightening and I have anxiety every single day . The best advice I can give you is take one step at a time and one day at a time. And come on this site and reach out whenever you feel totally alone. That’s what I try to do . I have not had brain surgery however I am a lung cancer survivor three times and unfortunately it has returned and I’m currently battling that. It is hard to be alone, however, when you’re sick it’s nearly impossible. I guess my screen name says it all and I’m stronger than most but there are some days that I just feel like giving up .
Nobody is perfect and I swear sometimes it feels like there's a magnet parked over us just begging all the garbage in the world to come for a visit. It's really hard to figure out what to do when your anxious isn't it? Everything seems like an emergency, and the sense of overwhelm is smothering and so you just don't make a decision. I can remember one times that stands out to me when things were really bad for me. I had just told my husband it felt like I was surrounded by people who were just watching me drown and I couldn't reach anything to stop myself from going under. As I said it this terrible sense of panic was growing bigger and bigger. When he responded (can't remember what he said) I just screamed as loudly as I could "Help me!" Then sat down and cried. Sometimes you need to find a way to release the tension building in your mind (and muscles and skin). I used to journal daily, and I noticed a difference when I quit. It helps you to allow your roll and actually hear your thoughts and pay attention to them. It's a great way to work out what's bothering you. Or try something to help you chill out. Valerian is a great herb for relaxing. But cut yourself some slack. You can't see it all, do it all and be it all. I hope you can find a way to feel better because nobody should have to deal with feeling like this all the time. There's another group Called "Bezzy for depression" and they offer great resources and have live chats a good bit. You should try it.
IntoTheWild5150. Be kind to yourself. We’re our worst critics. When the thoughts take over and you just see all the negatives, stop for a moment and just do some deep breathing. Do some mindfulness and identify things around you that you see smell or hear or can touch. No judgment just say what u are noticing. Helps break the thoughts cycle. Lifting you in prayer. 🙏🏻
My life sound similar to yours, I'm 62 y.o. but my life started falling apart in 2015 when I let my business go. My life went downhill every since. I just can't seem to catch up financially, physically, emotionally or mentally. My adult children are my support people these days, but I want to to feel like "me" again. Just keep the faith, practice breathing exercises and drink cold water when feeling anxious, find support people, don't be afraid to ask for help, take one day at a time, and say positive affirmations daily.
Hi Wild, I have anxiety off and on all day, seems like it’s everyday. It’s horrible. I don’t know if you are spiritual, but I recently joined a group at a Christian Church to study the Bible. I needed a community of caring ppl. too. I’ve really enjoyed it. The ppl. are so great there. I’ve even started to go to church on Sunday. This church has a ton of different classes for various topics. Recently I attended one on Anxiety. God and the Dr. is getting me through it. Just a suggestion. Good luck, day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time.
IntoThe Wild150, I am so sorry you're going through this.
I can relate 100% as I am also going through something and I feel I'm losing my grip. I'm 61 years old and not even close to where I thought I'd be. I am FAR from being settled.....working my butt off just to makes ends meet.....barely. Cant afford to buy a home so I rent in this crappy place I hate so much I think it's making me sick emotionally and physically. There is no lack of perseverance. I have been on a journey to see about purchasing a small home, manufactured is okay for me. I have contacted many realtors, first time home buyers program for info on how to buy an affordable home. No luck. Every step I take I'm faced with a brick wall. What the heck is it???? Just so tired of the fight!
Do you have any support or anyone to reach out to? It can help but I am aware this isn't always available. Do you have insurance? How did you obtain the CPAP machine?
Those are long hours you work. It gets so much harder as we get older as I'm in the same boat. I am beyond exhausted from the demanding, fast paced environment I work in, but for now it'll have to do. Don't be down on yourself for the decisions you've made because at the time, they were good decisions for you. Of course, in retrospect we can look back and see maybe not the best decisions. I've made a ton of poor decisions. In life, we have to keep moving forward and take what we've learned and apply it as best we can to the future.
I wish you all the best in coming to a resolution to your issues. Stay safe and stay positive.
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xx
Struggling…
struggling
60 and scared. 
Struggling with depression
Struggling.
