Is this the end of the road for me?

[gjammer]

I'm 77 years old and riddled with arthritis. I have to use a walker. I'm also very depressed. I question my continued existence. I would like to die quietly in my sleep. I've lost interest in everything. My days consist of watching television and doing nothing productive. I have a very kind caregiver who makes breakfast for me but when she's done she leaves for the rest of the day and I am left alone to wallow in my miserable loneliness.

I lack purpose and have little incentive to acquire one. I dwell on suicide but lack the courage to take my life. I also suffer anxiety but at least the drug I take for it helps. I've been on the same antidepressant for 22 years. I regard these drugs as a scam so I'm unwilling to switch to another one and wait in vain for it to work.

All I can do now is wait for nature to take its course and die naturally.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

I'm sorry that you feel alone 😔 it's hard getting old and especially when it's not gracefully like arthritis. My mom is 73 and it's hard for her to get around because her hip hurts or her back.

I sometimes wonder if my grandma felt like the way you do and turned off her oxygen machine. Because she got tired of being old and dealing with the affects of aging.

But you still have a purpose. You are here on this forum. You can pass down your knowledge and wisdom you have picked up during your 77yrs old this little blue planet. I'm curious about what kind of life did you lead. If you're willing to share, I'll gladly listen 😊

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi gjammer. Could you click "Only Community Members" at the bottom of your post to keep conversations private? (A small lock will appear if you do.)

I hear you. I'm sorry I don't have a pep talk to offer, I live very much the life you describe. And share many of the same feelings. But I'm struck that you seem unhappy without purpose, but say you "have little incentive to acquire one". If a sense of purpose would be a comfort, what's in the way? Pain? Loneliness? Focus?

I don't know for myself how to escape the emotional pain that comes from losing independence and living in isolation. The physical pain and the emotional pain certainly seem to feed off each other and grow. I only have this: you are not alone in what you're living, what you're feeling. Here I am, longing for a better life that remains out of reach.

[fauxartist]

I am sorry your at this point in your life where you feel you have no purpose. I understand this from my own life struggles, but I'm not in your shoes, so I can only empathize with you. It is a daunting and challenging place to be. I just couldn't see a point to hanging around at this stage in my life for a very long time... I'm almost 70 now. My only saving grace is to do my art when I am feeling well enough to do it. I can't really garden much, or go on walks in the forest or on the beach anymore, but I did find something I could do with my limitations. I can sit and paint. I don't know if your interested in anything like knitting, or crafts, but it did lift my spirits... and my depression isn't as daunting at times because I can do something. I'm not telling you that this will work for you, I respect your wishes to just pass in your sleep. But if you want something else in your life as it is, you can find a way. Maybe talk to your caregiver for ideas that are feasible for you.

[Blueruth]

I wonder if company would help. Being a friend is purpose in itself. Are there day care places near you? Typically they offer a midday meal with others, day trips and socializing without having to lose your independence. There are affordable ways to get there too. There are also volunteers that visit and help. A good resource for finding all of this is the national council on aging or volunteers of America.

voa.org/older-adults

[Arymretep]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel, I’m in my seventies and have severe arthritis and also fibromyalgia so I’m in constant pain , I take painkillers or I wouldn’t function at all, im so lucky in that I have a good hubby and extended family who I can call upon if needed. I try to occupy myself with my little garden and I crochet and come on here which I find really helpful as there’s always someone to chat to, do you have any hobbies

I hope you will stay on here with us , we’re all here for each other, take care 😘

[Midori]

I'm 74, and I have used a walker for about 10 years. I don't let it stop me getting about.

Yes, I know my time is limited, but I'm not stressing or getting despondent about it. Life has so much left for me to do.

Have you enquired about activities for the elderly? There are interest groups around, and lunch clubs, there is no need to feel alone, but you need to try to find them, 'cos they won't come looking for you, unfortunately.

Most towns will have an information place, and often they can also arrange for transport to and from.

Cheers, Midori