Felling like this is IT for me!😢

[Mydoorisopen72]

I’ve lost my mom and almost all my siblings in a very short few years it was like 15 of us now it’s 4 we were very close we did a lot of family things and events now I hate when holidays come around because I don’t know how to begin to plan anything anymore I am the youngest all my oldest siblings are gone I have my five kids they love me and they try but I’m just sad all the time

[Hidden]

I think these are very tough times for a lot of people. They say that grief is a process. I'm not sure what I can say to be helpful. You are not alone. Try to get some kind and any kind of help. I know how some mental health resources aren't that great but they're better than nothing. Sometimes going to a church can be healing, there are some grief support groups out there. My heart goes out to you.,💖

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Years ago I talked things through with a minister at a local church which I found very helpful.

[ZERO_ZEN]

Sometimes you just need to know someone is trying to say the right thing to help. I'm sure your family has something unique you can celebrate in your loved ones honor. Maybe its a special meal or a holiday tradition. I'm referring to something only your family would understand. Take hold of that and celebrate the heck out of it. It might start to help the healing process and bring a much needed sense of warmth and comfort as you reflect on good times.

[2L84x]

I think it must take a long time to recover from having lost so many loved ones. Like a mountain of grief, it would give me a sense of hopelessness. I don't find it strange that you are sad all the time. But I do think it will get better, as time passes. I don't know of a way to speed that process up. I hope you can take care of yourself in practical ways, like get enough sleep, eat nutritious food and a walk outdoors. Or that someone can help you with this. Asking for help can be hard, but it is actually kind to the people around you who want to be useful but don't know what to do.

My mother told me that after my brother died, she felt like she was drowning in a sea of grief. Once in a while, she would be able to get her head over the surface and get a breath of air, from something that happened that gave her a brief sense of peace. With time, the 'islands' of rest from sorrow grew larger, until there was more land than sea, She would still be under the surface sometimes, but it happened less and less frequently.

It takes time to adjust to a new kind of life, and to be able to accept that things will never be the same again.

II wish you will be able to feel joy again, in being with your children, and in remembering the lost loved ones.

[Starrlight]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[Arymretep]

I know how you feel, I am the last of a very large extended family , my beloved parents and all my loving Aunts , are all gone over time, I do have cousins but they all live away, life is not the same now but we have to carry on as best we can, and think of all the wonderful times we’ve had, you are so blessed with five lovely children , so much love, take care 😘

[socratesanne]

This is a complicated grief for human beings in this time. So glad you are on here to process these feelings. Hope you can think of all those wonderful heartfelt times you have had with those you have lost. They are still in your heart and your children. You are surely there for the whole family, to help during this time. Story telling of those good times might be just what you. Children need to grasp their heritage and history. and you seem to be a matriarch here. Let the planing be a group effort to spare you as much space as you need. A time of celebration of their life and your future. Get a lot of rest as that does help immensely.

Tears help. Repressing them stays the healing. Try not to suppress. but have a cold washcloth to sooth the eyes or use the cucumbers for you eyes instead of the salad. Is there a special friend to hold your hand? Hope you have someone in your life to provide that for you in lieu of the ones you lost. My heartfelt condolences.

Time is needed here. Know your heart can mend with time. People will need you to tell your story and how you grew. Be there to share the stories of those lost when you are ready. You can help others who might need you in the future, your children and grandchildren.

When was the last loss as that is imperative to allow time in grief. There is no law to that but honor you bodily needs. I have trouble with sleep . I have trouble with sorrow but it does not help to avoid it. So many times, I have had to excuse myself from an event to just go into another room and get out the tears and then move on.

Listen to your body and what is truly needs which is often just a nice cold glass of water. Just water helps so many people I know. Walking is a major form of healing. A cold glass of water or hot tea or even a nice bath or shower. I spend too much time in my head and ignor the body needs. You deserve to honor your needs and especially what the body must have to remain healthy. I forgot that over the years and made sure I do not regress into bad habits. I laugh here, because I really need to get up as I have been siting too long. Hope you can take that in joy it was written. Humor I suspect might be a skill you have. It has gotten me through a lot.

Who was the funniest one you lost. Maybe you can capture that spirit to help you through. I often think an uncle who has now passed away. He comes to mind often lately. He used to pass me the bread at Thanksgiving by sailing it to me over the heads of us little ones. He was honoring those who were now missing at the table, at that time my grandfather had passed.

[2L84x in reply to socratesanne]

I loved reading this, so much wisdom and so beautifully expressed.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry that you’re hurting by the loss of your loved and dear ones. I know it’s hard to accept that they are no longer here physically with us and that’s a hard hard pill to swallow. The older we get the more people we lose and this is the truth of life. We will continue to lose people and all you can really do is cherish the moments you have with the ones who are still here. You are so beautiful look at that glowy and flawless skin. Don’t give up because I promise you, god is not done with you at what you still have to offer to this world. I’ll be alone for the holidays after losing my dad and have a small small family but I plan on making the most out of it. This world is yours and you really can choose to focus on the journey and fight you still have left. By the way I can’t get over how beautiful you are and I can tell you won’t give up. Your kids need you just as much as you need them.

[lisa40509]

I haven’t lost my family however I moved 900 miles away. For me it was too sad trying to recreate the traditions along with all of that stress. See if it will help you if you can sit down with your kiddos and plan this years holidays with some new traditions to try out. I do a huge Christmas breakfast instead of dinner. Everyone comes over in crazy Christmas jammie’s. We play board and card games all day and do karaoke holiday style. Eventually you will get your own rhythm. Sending you warm wishes!

Lisa

[Midori]

Hi there,

I hate when people try to categorise grief. Its not all that easy, as we know. I have heard the standard sayings that 'You should be over it now, ' 'Pull yourself together' and similar over the years.

Some people can glide though it fairly easily; others get mired in it for years. Queen Victoria, when she lost her husband she grieved for the rest of her long life, even having fresh clothes laid out for him each morning, and hot water brought up for him to wash.

What I really want to say is this; grief takes as long as it takes, it won't hurry for anyone. I have said goodbye to six people in the last few years, and I realised with a shock that it makes me the matriarch of my own family. I'm 73, although not inwardly. I'm now disabled, but I had an active sporty life, and there are good memories there too. I try to concentrate on the good memories rather than the bad.

I am not looking back with regret, When I look back I do it with a smile as I remember encounters with these people who are now ancestors.

I hope you can soon find your way though the despair to the hope.

Cheers, Midori