This Life Is for Me

[beanz28]

I really appreciate everyone's strength on this platform, it took me years to get to this point of being able to share my experiences and realizing that I am not alone. Thank you! I just had a realization this morning that in life you got to care more about yourself than other people. One of the things I noticed is that for a long time I have always cared more about what others think about me and how they view me. But this is MY life, and this is the only life I get to live, no redos. I need to put myself first and that might hurt some people's feelings, but I know I have the best of intentions for myself. A lot of people in my life that hurt me recently told me that their intention was not to hurt me and i can understand that, but I need to start choosing myself. I haven't appreciated or accepted myself in such a long time, I've started to forget how that even feels 😭😭 I think true self confidence is choosing to be yourself and living in the truth of who you are even if other people feel uncomfortable. It is not your job to make people comfortable because they don't try to do the same! I've spent a lot of my life thinking that if i kept treating people how i wanted to be treated then they might see the error in their ways. Honestly i think most people are blind and thats why I need to start looking out for myself. Remind myself that other people don't care when they hurt me so why should i care when I hurt them? No, im not saying intentionally be mean to others, but i do think that if you know you are doing what is best for yourself that might mean saying no to people and allowing them to feel negative about you. I think this is hard but you got to let other people be wrong about you. Learn to be your true self and accept the consequences that happen. Easier said than done, but start small. And if other people make you feel bad about it, ask yourself has this person ever cared about your emotional needs? If not, that input is not valid. I find that a lot the time other people want you to show compassion and kindness to them, but never want to do the same, even family members and friends. Honestly, im done doing that, Im choosing me first, this is MY life. This life is a blessing that I get to live for me.

[Starrlight]

beautiful voice you have Bean

[Hidden]

You’re on the right path beanz. Don’t lose that philosophy, it will bring you much inner peace in your future.

[designguy in reply to Hidden]

Hey Charlotte, welcome back, glad you are here again i've missed your humor and great advice. Sorry to read about the issues you are dealing with, try to be kind and compassionate with yourself and accept what is perfectly imperfect about yourself, we're all just humans doing the best we can at the time.

[designguy]

Yay, good for you, you're totally on the right path. So many of us have been conditioned and taught that it's selfish. I was punished and shamed for showing any signs of being proud of myself or trying to stand up for myself which was totally wrong. Learning to love and accept ourselves and validate ourselves is key to true happiness for ourself and others.

[beanz28 in reply to designguy]

Thanks for your response, I was raised like that too. I think a lot of people mistake arrogance and humility. Humility is believing that your awesome and everyone else is too because we all inherently are unique and have value. Arrogance is believing you're awesome and everyone else sucks or isn't as good as you. There is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself and cheering yourself on. I think a lot of that helps to build belief in one's abilities to grow as a human.

[designguy in reply to beanz28]

Totally agree, arrogance is a means to hide a fear of rejection and shame and humility is being confident in ones abilities and having enough self-love and acceptance and being aware of our fallibility as humans and being ok with it. Choosing to live life on your own terms is the greatest freedom there is, keep going forward.

[Atthepark]

Yes I agree