I feel lost. I think I'm done

[Unspoken_feelings]

I'm a recently turned 27, F, who spent her birthday crying because I know I failed in life and there cannot be any do overs.

I'm currently broke. After graduating, I spent this and last year preparing for entrance, so decided not to work. By now that the result is awaited and I'm not very hopeful (this entrance is very cutthroat) I applied for jobs, but haven't received call backs.

I'm at an age where everyone around me is either getting married, or is with kids. And here I am, haven't dated a guy in the longest, and tbh, I don't even feel like engaging, because I fear, that I'll be a burden and probably will never make them feel loved.

I've always been emotionally fragile. My dad was and still is, verbally abusive. To put it right, he's a bully. His authoritarian parenting has made me and my sister almost incapable to make our own decisions. And now that we are older, we are on our own because he doesn't know any better. I'd like to think that I've got it the easiest out of the rest (my mum and younger sister). They've been bearing with this for the longest while I still went out for college. We as a family have almost always been unhappy. We don't go out. We rarely celebrate.

I was seeing a psychiatrist. I take my medicines, but I think I'm a lost cause. I'm very ambitious or atleast was. Not achieving what I wanted, keeps pushing me deeper in the hole of despair.

I don't know where to go from here on.

[Baba101]

You are not a lost cause at all. You are still very young. You have so many opportunities and life experiences waiting for you. Stop looking at yourself from your father's eyes. You are you! You are the sun in your solar panel. You need to love yourself. You need to care for yourself. Once you start to value yourself everything will start to change. 🤗

[Agora1 in reply to Baba101]

I second this Baba great advice xx

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to Baba101]

Some days are better than others. I've been feeling a lot more alone than usual. I'll try to find some solace in whatever little I have

[Shera79]

Plz do not give up on anything to do with yourself. All we can do is love ourselves the way we are. We are all on different roads, enjoy the scenery, but realize it is just scenery. much LOVE <3

time will find the right road

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to Shera79]

Thankyou! Loving yourself is a constant struggle, when you feel there isn't much to love. I'll still try!

[Agora1]

Unspoken, "never allow someone to make you into something they want"Parent or not, with respect we must all pursue what we were meant to do in life.

My mother was my antagonist when choosing the medical field from early on.

She choose the corporate life. Til the day she died, she never recognize my

passion in helping others. It hurt, but I never let it stop me.

Be proud of what you accomplished. I am proud of you, of anyone who pursues

their dream and attains it. I don't know what it's like in India, but in America just

having that degree behind you can open many doors.

Unspoken, Happy Belated Birthday! Let us be your virtual family of friends.

We support you, we care about you. With us, you are never alone.

Don't give up searching for what you want. xx

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much! Too kind.

[Hidden]

I hated turning 27. Something about that number made me feel old & worthless. The good news is that life truly gets better as you get older. You gain confidence, skills & perspective. I think of getting older as climbing a big mountain. The higher you get, the more you can see and the world gets bigger as your problems shrink in comparison. Be gentle with yourself. And I am telling you to hang in there because every decade will get easier and happier. Hugs.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

Elisheva99 I absolutely agree with you. It takes time to blossom intowho we were meant to be. xx

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I really hope it gets better.

[san_ray70]

I am 72 how can you say you are done at 27, life is full of surprises. Myself I re married at 55 and I am very happy, you have a degree make the most of it. I have two nieces they both dropped out of college. One is a single parent, the other is a photographer, their brother went abroad to teach after getting his degree. He got married abroad but is now back in England. He has to re train for teaching in this country.

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to san_ray70]

I understand that you come from experience and troubles of the past may appear meagre to you. But from where I stand, I can't tell what my future holds. These recent events have made my outlook, pessimistic. But yeah, it can go either way. Maybe there's hope. Thank you!

[repeatOffender]

Hey. I am 62 and have felt the way you feel many times.Each time was very tough but I bounced back.

You will too. When you do, work hard at what you find.

realize that nothing is perfect but if you find something

that makes you happy work hard to pursue it.

And when and if it disappears work hard to find something new.

I know working hard is tough when you are depressed.

I'm depressed now and trying to reinvent myself.

Hard to find a job in my field at 62 so I am trying to come up with alternatives.

It's also kind of hard because nobody can see your struggles.

If you had a physical problem people would see and understand.

But when it is internal nobody gets it unless they have experienced it too.

You are not alone.

Use this forum to get strength

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to repeatOffender]

Thank you so much! Too kind. I needed to hear this.

[erewano]

Hi, you are not alone I've been feeling the same lately and it fells like there is a really big hole on your heart...I hope you get through this , you got this😇

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to erewano]

Thank you. I hope it gets better for you as well.

[Daveacr1959]

I’m a 62 year old man. Please read my profile, life has its ups and downs, your down now but it doesn’t last. Please get 45 minutes of daily cardio exercise to produce endorphins that battle your anxiety and depression. And a 5 minute pure cold shower does wonders. First 2 weeks are rough but then you crave it. I am pulling for you. If you will try what I suggest I know in 1 week you will feel better.

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to Daveacr1959]

I read your profile and the strength you possess to keep going after what you've been through is inspirational. I've recently started working out. I try. Some days it's difficult to get out of bed thinking what's the point. I'll try to be consistent. Thank you!

[Daveacr1959 in reply to Unspoken_feelings]

People have known the mental benefits of daily cardio exercise for 50 years. The 5 minute pure cold shower daily is a rather new treatment. It builds a mental toughness, and the cold water has the ability to reset your brain. And give you calm and help anxiety and depression.

[TangledUpIn]

27? You feel like your life is over??? Hardly! Here are just a few things I did after I turned 27:

Moved to another country for 18 months where I didn't speak the language🤯🎎

Lost $ and made $ on slot machines🎰

Moved to San Francisco because I always wanted to live there 🌁🚊

Opened 2 small businesses🦮🐈🐢🦎🐟🏠

Traveled to Australia twice🤿🦘

Volunteered with small business women in West Africa🌍

Traveled to South Africa with my brother🌍

Traveled to New Zealand by myself on a spur-of-the-moment holiday🌏

Met a new friend from Canada and traveled throughout Southern California🏖🎢🎪

Had many jobs - some jobs I liked, others I didn't😚🤬

Met many new people, some fascinating, some boring; all with different life stories👱‍♀️🧔👵👩‍🦲👨‍🦰👧👩‍🦱👩‍🦰🧑🧒🧓

These are just some highlights from what I could come up with off the top of my head, there of course is much more. At 27, you are just getting started in your life Unspoken_feelings😄

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to TangledUpIn]

Happy for you. You've lived quite a life. I hope someday, I get to experience things that'll make be happy.

[TangledUpIn in reply to Unspoken_feelings]

That's what I want for you too! Are you interested in travel? Get a globe, spin it around and see where in the world you'd like to travel or live. Want to start your own business? Ask other people how they started their businesses. Are you looking to make new friends? Put yourself out there! You can take these first steps, I believe in you.😎

P.s. As soon as I got away from my overbearing parents, I flourished!

[Hidden]

I feel this post so so much. I'm 22 so I know I'm a bit younger than you but you are not alone. You are not a lost cause. I am so proud of you bby and you deserve the best in life. You are your own. It doesn't matter where you come from, it just matters where you go and what you learn along the way. 🥰 So glad that you're reaching out!

[pink318]

Hi- Belated Happy Birthday!

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. Thank you for sharing with us.

Things may be difficult for you right now but I want to encourage you to stay strong. Try to be gentle on yourself. I pray that things will get better for you soon.

Continue to share, we are here for you. Also, continue to connect with your doctor and take your medications as prescribed. God bless you.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for opening up and sharing. I am sorry you feel defeated in your plans. I am sorry your father was verbally abusive, that must have been hard growing up. I have been verbally abused too in the past. I had to learn that it was in the past and I should not continue to relive those feelings. I need to leave them in the past and move forward to a mentally healthy life.

The fact that you are seeing a psychiatrist and on medicine is going to be helpful. It takes time. Took me over a year till I began to feel like myself. However, the most important thing is to learn to change your thoughts and what you focus on. I have learned through counseling some techniques that help me change those negative thoughts. I hope you find them useful too.

1) Healing comes from the inside out. It starts with letting go of the things of the past, forgiving and changing our focus and behavior. Becoming aware of what you need through self-care and personal nourishment. Take time for yourself - you are worth it. Like taking walks, baths, massages, mani/pedi/, listening to uplifting music/sermons and anything that makes you feel refreshed and renewed.

2) The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thoughts. I do this one to three times a sitting.

3)The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.

4) Emotional Freedom Tapping - bit.ly/3AVYNiX You use pressure points to tap on those points while you repeat positive uplifting things to yourself.)

I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[Unspoken_feelings in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you so much for this! I'll give this a try.

[lovetodance2018]

How are you doing this week? I have been praying for you. Hugs