I'm scared lost feel like I'm losing ... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I'm scared lost feel like I'm losing my mind each day.

Montay profile image

Is this really anxiety or something else. I go to doctors and they ridicule me because they think I have it all. I have fears of schizophrenia and such and I believe im slowly becoming one. I also believe I have a form of meningitis that formed in 2015 that led to all this misery. I need to get a lumbar puncture to be 100% sure. But I feel almost that It is too late. I haven't seen my friends in months, years and I am beginning to feel extremely desperate and worried. I don't know what to do. Every time I go in public I begin to start thinking and almost forget where I am because I am so lost in my thoughts. I get very angry very quickly and I sleep a lot. This really needs to stop and I need the old me back. I was once the most attractive person in my town. Need help I will leave my # when I am back in the states

13 Replies

Sorry you are feeling this way. Reaching out for support is a great move. I can definitely relate the the part about loosing your mind. I felt crazy so often. Through all this I have definitely learned that your brain is not your friend. It is just another organ in the body and it can be malfunctioning just like any other part. Sadly it can leave you in a state of fear.

Are you on any medications yet? Also seeing a therapist is a big help. But in the mean time try to be easy on yourself. It is ok to take things slow. Journaling helped me put structure to my flooding thoughts. It also helped me identify triggers. Also forcing my self to take short walks. It wasn't easy. I hated it at first so if you feel the same... sadly it is normal. Like I said your brain is not your friend and you kind of have to take small steps to fight back. Keep us posted.

Montay profile image
Montay in reply to CaptainCrunch

I really appreciate this reply. And no I am not on any medications but I was in college and I've been wanting to go back because I felt safe there. I had feelings of uneasy while I was there but I know that that is the only way forward from where I am in my life. And again I really appreciate this reply

in reply to Montay

You should go back! That will be a great outlet for you. I have been out of school for eight years due to mental breakdown and than diagnose with bipolar among other things. I start school in fall and I'm excited . School helped me foster relationships and not feel so alone. What were you studying ?

Montay profile image
Montay in reply to

I was studying accounting with an emphasis in real estate. This may be against guidelines I'm not sure but just a word of advice. I read a book about god and started to let all my worries just flood me and then I fell asleep. Woke up and kind of felt normal almost idk what just happened. But anyways my diagnoses is anxiety disorder for now and we will see down the road how things will shape up for me

in reply to Montay

Yes, God and my bible studies every Sunday keep me sane or I lose it. I stopped for 6 months and total anxiety felt like my insides were being ripped apart. Now I'm feeling more calm I've been on more than 15-20 medications now only to Two thanks to my spirituality. Meditation , talk therapy , gaining knowledge about anxiety and mental health , accounting is great career choice

in reply to CaptainCrunch

Great post! And advice , yes it is a malfunctioning organ and understanding this concept is helpful to ones mental health.

Hi, I've had those fears, especially the one about schizophrenia, I remember a month ago I was so scared that when I went to my psychiatrist I broke down crying in the office saying I had schizophrenia, she looked at me and said that if that's what I had I would have shown signs of that in my early 20s, I'm now in my 30s....sometimes when we over think every thing we program our brain to THINK THAT WE HAVE A DISEASE...I had to calm down and start thinking logically, once you start thinking logically your body will settle down and you will start to feel like your old self again...it's not easy and it takes a while....we are all here to help!! Take your time and think and focus!!! We will all get through this!!

Montay profile image
Montay in reply to Joimom16

Hi joimom thank you for the reply! Just a quick question have you been prescribed any medication ? From your psychiatrist ?

Also, if you want to take meds, your doc will give you the right medication....at first I didn't want to take medicine but my Generalized Anxiety Disorder got out of control.. I'm currently on 75 MG of Atarax!!! I'm wishing you the best!!

Hi

You are not alone in feeling this way. It sounds like anxiety and depression which do have physical painful side effects. Not many people get them but I am with you on the forgetting where your at or getting lost somewhere you've been 100 times. It's really hard to go through this alone I hope you have family that supports you. My Dr told me that for me I'm one in a million that meds don't react right with but tell your Dr everything it's his or her job to help. Nothing is fast in this journey and it's very frustrating. But walking and stretching does help. Coloring helps me too. I have a hard time leaving my house but going for a walk seems to work for me sometimes when I feel an attack comming on. Exercise really helps and I have to drag myself sometimes but after I feel a bit better but my first opinion is go talk to your dr it could be something else and blood work would show if it is.

DO NOT LOOK FOR THE OLD ME LOOK FOR THE BETTER AND IMPROVED YOU! Life is scary I was tested for Hunting's Disease talk about scared!! Thank-goodness it was negative I so afraid I my have passed it onto my children. At this point depression can actually make you feel sick. Try to make a list and check off what you can accomplish that day and tomorrow bring out the list and add 1 chore at a time give yourself a gold star or pat on your back even if it is 1 thing you did it and are capable of doing more maybe throw yourself and party even if you are the only guest. Keep trying and we will all cheer you on!

If doctors are making fun of you then report them to the board in whatever state or country you reside. Also, switch doctors!

I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel but I didn't know other people went through this until I found your post. I am not living, I'm just getting through each day and it turns into months and years that I have had what I was calling a nervous breakdown daily. I have all sorts of illnesses and many issues that makes it impossible to calm down. I think we are both on the right track though. we are making it somehow each day. that is not easily said! And we want our old self back. I hope today is much better for you

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