Bipolar 2 with Anxiety and PTSD

[Buffy1996]

I was diagnosed at 12 with bipolar disorder and just recently this past year with Anxiety and PTSD. I started lithium again at the age of 40. I used to be on lamictal and Wellbutrin. They had put me on Lithium when I was younger and then took me off of it bc I had a “said” heart murmur. This past 2-3 years I have suffered what I can only explain to be a severe breakdown/burnout. I am unable to work right now so my husband is burdening all of our bills. I have always been a hard worker. I worked in health care and the past two years have swung me into unexplainable breakdown. Not one where you are crying but complete and utter numbness, the inability to physically make myself work. I feel so useless.

On the flip side I have to deal with my 12 year old. They had started him on seraquel and he takes Ritalin and tenex, lamictal. That was after many years of OT, PT, ABA. As a mother I feel like I brought him into this world only to be succumbed by the same illness or close the same illness. They won’t even after all these years tell me what he has. They just stick to the autism diagnosis.

I feel like I am not able to function. I am actually very limited on where I feel like I can go. I don’t want to leave my house anymore. I have the best psychiatric treatment and so does my son. I just feel like my body and my mind isn’t going to come out of this breakdown. I physically am affected by it right down to being able to walk on some days. My body feels like it can’t lift anything. I can’t seem to move out of this state of mind no matter how hard I try.

[faithhope421]

Hello Buffy1996 ,I feel your pain ,I can't give you advice ,however I would first encourage you to hold on and be strong ,I feel your pain ,been there many times for two Sons ,my experience with Ritalin is extensive ,my son used it as a child and it proved to be effective ,I also see in your post ,other Meds that were introduced to me for my son ,we didn't have a good outcome .They were removed from his Meds list ,I take Ritalin as an Adult for Narcolepsy ,again it's very effective for me .Buffy that pain and feeling like your life is sinking is very real to you .Please know that you are a good Mother and you are an overcomer ,no, the diagnosis will not go away and can be questionable ,allow the prognosis to prevail ,how you deal with your circumstances .It's real all of it and it's so very painful I know ,pay attention to what Med is giving you the outcome you desire , sometimes the Meds can create another Diagnosis based on the side affects ,look into Medical Journals and the Foundation for your Diagnosis .I found a wealth of information going this route .I presently volunteer for agencies for children with Bi Polar ,Autism ,Depression ,ADHD , etc , you see where I'm coming from ,I did get some training ,certification and personal counseling for myself ,hope you take care of you ,this empowers and equip you to help your love ones .Acknowledge your pain and disappointment ,every feeling you have face it and then erase it .After you've done this ,there you 'll find that you can replace it .Buffy as a Mother I'll walk this journey with you ,feel free to reach out and shout ,cry ,and occasionally ,question is this real ,for me yes it is .Wishing you joy even in the midst of your storm, and yes, many more to come ,prepare yourself to bear the reality of every episode to come .Please know that you'll get through this and all that comes with it .I've been dealing with it for 40 years now .I'm still here ,you are too ,let's go through the eye of this storm and survive the tide .You're going to rise above these clouds and eventually see a ray of sunshine , I believe ,now you believe .Have a great day ,okay. Sending love ,peace ,hope and joy to you .Hang in there Buffy !