I am panicking I am in a place where I really am needing help. I write the above on my walk and now too much is going wrong and too many people I need to deal with snd I am breaking I am rocking back and forth in my chair waiting for my therapist to call back... the way I describe my pain is I’m stuck thinking about myself and my pain and I’ve tried giving snd doing for others for so long we’ll I’m still in so much pain I cannot breathe well so I took propanolol to help with my heart racing I may go to crisis care but then my kids- they need me /- I have to get their zoom straightened out (last week it worked fine this week we cannot log in))))so they are not doing their virtual school today snd I’m like yay we are freeeeeee but deep inside I am in a cage scared to live scared to die. I left two messages on my therapist’s phone.
something normal I saw on my walk something to bring me hope because I love nature
I've found a new trick. When I come to your post and find a lovely woodland scene I expand the picture and just sit, and let it fill my heart. It is my window into a better world than the walls I'm trapped in. Thank you.
Your "something normal" is completely new to me. Mysterious and thrilling. I follow on your journey through the woods and have moments of peace.
Remember the goal you've set yourself. Reducing the benzo. The panic? It's the drug leaving your system. It's a nasty little @#$X! and that's what it does to us.
See if your doctor can switch you to an alternative sedative that takes longer to leave your system (see the Ashton manual) to make it all easier.
You know to be careful with the propanolol. If you choose to go to "crisis care", you'll be taking care of yourself so you can be there fully with your family as you heal. You'll know what's best to do.
I'm here if you want to talk. Let me know.
You've called me beautiful. Remember, inside, that's you, a beautiful woman: Soon... Soon.
Wow thank you so much for your wise and soothing words. And it makes me so happy that my photos help you, my beautiful friend I just posted a pic of some lotus plants with me posing as if I’m pushing them away with my powers. Check it out
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