Both
the one you and everyone hears when you open your mouth and speak.
And
The one you hear when your mouth is closed without anything to say.
Both those things affect how you feel and how you think. Feeling different? Quit telling yourself that you are, quit being around people who tell you that you are. People calling you different don’t know a single thing about you and have no reason or business to do so.
I know you, reason why I can say that. Is because I know that I’m not you. And you’re not me. And that is the best damn thing I’ve ever come to realize. It’s such a beautiful thing. Don’t believe me?
I sit and think, how shitty it would be if everyone were the same. There’s nothing interesting in that. That’s so boring. I used to think I was suppose to be who others wanted me to be. I was tied down, co dependency destroying my life and my true being. You owe no one your life, you owe no one a single fucking thing. Your parents may be the ones to say that to you, I told mine, are you kidding me, give me a refund cuz I don’t owe you shit lol I’m mad at you for making me be here lmao. That’s not to say or bring a negative vibe. I’m trying to say that, if you find yourself in a similar situation or state of mind and feel that you aren’t enough. For me, it stemmed from the difficulty in realizing that I wasn’t being Me. The me that I mindlessly intentionally disregarded when I first think of what I want to do.
My conscience was destroying me from all the things I knew were wrong but did them anyway for self indulgence that wouldn’t last more than a day. Get past your guilty actions and you’ll forget what depression and or anxiety even was, for the most part.
I can only speak for myself and that really bothers me but I love it too. Because if you think your problems or your story is not important. Think again. I only ask and hope that this helps one person. Nothing more nothing less. Because helping one, means they get to help another. That’s how the vibe works. Your story is important, fuck the next person who tells you they ain’t got time to hear your problems. That doesn’t mean to wish or create negative things on or for them. Just simply ignore, they might be in more pain than you. It’s hard to be mindful of that or consider that, when you’re also in an equal amount of pain.
I found myself enhancing every emotion and every thought. I went from thinking that I was “bullshitting” myself to being more mindful of the things that I was thinking and questioning them and learning to disregard them. Easier said than done. You must be on your feet at all times, know what you said and why you said it. If you said the wrong thing, own it and acknowledge it. To yourself or to someone else but most importantly to yourself
You’re your best believer and informer. Don’t ever forget that.
Wheeew that was fun to release hope I made sense and this helps someone snap out of any negative mental states. Always know that as shitty as things seem to get. Seeming and being are two very different things. Things are going to be ok. Even though they might not seem they are or will be. 🤓
Love you all, stay safe and stay strong. We must never give up. We (humans) are strong af. And can make it through just about anything. We’ve made it this far 😇 good night (in the us), morning or afternoon (where applicable)