This stinks.

[RemySue]

So, I drank last night. Depressed this morning, and now Anxiety has set in. I walked a little, sat in the park for awhile and cried. I always say I can deal with depression because I've been depressed for 40 years. Anxiety makes me feel insane and I want to die.

Everything should be good. I'm going to visit my son who just moved next weekend. The pain which has been my constant companion since April is getting better. I have a ton of friends and have a busy week planned. Had counseling on Friday and was feeling good.

I cannot stand being alone and I don't know how to fix it. It terrifies and panics me. I feel like I can't breathe. How am I ever going to feel better? When I'm like this I can't see a future.

I know it's totally irrational. There are so many people with it so much worse. I want to be the content, strong woman I was before this latest rough patch.

Thanks for listening.

[Nini44]

Aah, your post touched my heart. I’m sorry to read you’ve felt like this today. I’ve just joined this app tonight. I’ll always listen if u need to talk. X

[Midori]

Does your doctor and counselor know how frightened you are of solitude?

Would it be possible to get a live-in companion?

Cheers, Midori

[RemySue in reply to Midori]

I have my cat and a ton of friends-good job, good church, good life. And yet I can't stop crying today. I have got to find a way to stop this anxiety and be happy living alone. I can always get a boyfriend or a foster child but I need to fix the Why of this

[fauxartist]

Have you heard of 'Dual Diagnosis'....it affects many of us here. And also mental injury spurns on self doubt, anxiety, and makes our depression worse like self medicating does. It’s a vicious circle and I call it my emotional merry-go-round, self sabotaging when things are good, not being able to stop the insanity is difficult when you are barraged with chemical deficiencies, as well as influential issues from possibly child hood, trauma, addiction, etc. Everyone one of us here comes as a mixed bag…and sorting each issue out takes lots of time. Some days are better than others. Hang in there and hopefully your therapist can help. I did a lot of self help stuff and groups too. The more tools in the tool box makes it a bit easier to find coping mechanisms. Social stigma doesn’t help us with our self esteem, so I just know n my heart that I am the ‘New Normal’ really and am ahead of the game because I acknowledge the things I want to feel better with.

[Doyg]

What you are experiencing is very real. To me, loneliness is hard to deal with. I can't even get a running start to tackle depression. I have to crawl.

[Kaydwg]

I’m sorry you are having a tough few days. Loneliness is what brought me here to this forum. You have friends here :). Even though I live with my partner he has been gone a lot. And I drink too much when I’m alone. My dog was my main buddy. Even when I was single I had a dog who helped keep me sane when I was lonely…. Which was a lot. Also joining a local support group, class, or volunteer job helps too.