Returning to this site.

[Claygal]

I was using this site a while back, but I kinda dropped off. I think I wasn't getting any help???So I'm back...feeling Depressed, Anxious everyday, Marriage is falling apart, Money worries, housing worries.

Have been depressed most of my life. Seen many dr.'s, been on a ton of meds, which I can't remember them all.

I take meds for Anxiety and Major Depression. They seem to be working ok.

My marriage is causing me so much Anxiety. My husband just doesnt wanna be around me, he goes in his room, I go in my Art room, to deal with my sadness, hopelessness, and sit a wonder how a husband can just act like they don't love me. Always an excuse, can't sit in my room cause the chairs too uncomfortable. He never says sorry, I love you, never looks at me, never says morning, good night, ask me how I am.

I just had a scare, cause I got some test results today and he didn't say 1 word..... thanks......

So stuck...can't just move, have nowhere to move too. ☹️

[Bluecatbooklover]

I’m sorry you’re going through so much. I know it sucks being stuck in a home where you don’t feel appreciated. Everything deserves to feel loved and valued especially by the person who promised to love them no matter what.

[Claygal in reply to Bluecatbooklover]

Yes, I feel so unloved. I only have 1 best friend. She only lives a couple miles away. But, she has her life, she works alot. I don't really think she understands TRUE depression. I've been suffering with depression most of my adult life. I just can't really talk to her, cause she always thinks I need to look at things with a positive outlook. I usually do, when I'm not super super depressed, but you all know it's soo hard to fake happiness.

That's why I came here again... nobody to talk to about how I feel. Thanks for responding.

[Bluecatbooklover in reply to Claygal]

I understand. People who have never dealt with depression or anxiety don’t really understand what it feels like. They think it’s something you can shut off. And if we could we definitely would not be sitting around suffering. Feel free to chat with me anytime. I’m mostly on here at night because I have a lot of panic attacks when I try to sleep so I get on here to talk so I can calm myself down.

[Claygal in reply to Bluecatbooklover]

Hi, sorry I didn't respond after your last post. I too am a night bird....I feel like I have to stay up? I usually stay up til 1 a.m. I wait to take my Lyrica late so I don't get tired too fast cause I'll have to go too sleep?????? Gosh, maybe I have bi-polar??? Are in the U.S.? I'm Eastern Standard Time.

Talk soon....didn't get too sleep til 3:30 cause my sciatica decided to kill my left hip and down my leg. Used my massage gun, now my hip is feeling super sore and now I have a sore hip....yay...limp all day now....lol.

Never ending.

P.S. I have major neck and back issues... I have fibro too. So I've been dealing with alot of stuff lately.

Shoulder replacement in September.😜

[Bluecatbooklover in reply to Claygal]

Sorry I haven’t been on in a few days. Things got busy and I’ve just been rolling into bed at night. Sorry you have to deal with so much pain on a daily basis. And yes I’m from the US. I have no idea the time zone though.

[Lettuce_17]

Welcome back, I guess we have to change that then. It's nice here you get to feel less alone by being with people like you and helping each other out.

[Claygal in reply to Lettuce_17]

Thanks for the Welcome.Yes, I want to be able to communicate with others about my depression. Everybody needs someone too talk to.

[Dolphin14]

Claygal

Welcome back.

I hope you find the support you feel you need. There are so many helpful and kind people here

🐬

[Claygal in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank You!

[Claygal in reply to Dolphin14]

Me too! I need the communication.

[Claygal]

Wow. Everyone has a story.... it's sad to see people decline in front of your eyes. My mom had lung cancer, and I watched her die with hospice in my home....sad.

[bethelbee]

Welcome back! Sounds like you are already getting helpful responses. Hope you continue to get the support you need on here this time. Sorry you are dealing with so much.Yes, as others have said those who have never experienced depression and anxiety will never truly understand what we go through. I lost a very long term friend about 5 years ago. She had always been supportive during my depressive episodes and visited me when I was hospitalized a few times but she said some very hurtful things during my last episode. (Long story short she accidentally sent a group text to our mutual friends and neglected to exclude me). We haven't spoken since. And my other two friends of that group have since ghosted me. BTW, I'm 69 and we were all friends since 7th grade... Have been dealing with depression and anxiety my whole adult life, but started having anxiety attacks in my teens.

Was on meds starting in '87 until 4 years ago when I became treatment resistant. Luckily my therapist recommended TMS(Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). For me it was a lifesaver, literally at one point. If you've been on meds for a long time and they're not really working anymore, talk to your doctor about it. It's a big time commitment but well worth it if it works. I've had 3 rounds. The positive results of the first two each lasting about 6 months and the last one is still working after 3 years.

Keep us posted how things are going.

[Claygal in reply to bethelbee]

Hi! Thanks for responding.I think this group is working great so far!

It's sad to loose friends. Especially if you've known them for so long. People change during their life time, sometime we keep in touch, other times we don't. But we do live and learn....sometimes not always the way we wanted to do it.

I haven't heard of that treatment before. Is it painful?

Are you in the states? (Wondering if we have that here).

I've been having a ton of issues lately. I have had a sweating issue for too long. I blamed it on my anti depressants...so I switched...I'm on a few meds, so we have been doing testing...I think my BP meds cause sweating too. But, I don't wanna do the weening stuff, cause it takes so long.

I do have a Nerve issues in my left c5-c7, and I'm going to be going to a Pain Clinic for the first time. I'm scared... but... C6-c7 ,I read, can cause uncontrolled sweating. So that's something to look at. I have a needle phobia...not a good place to go if your a chicken...lol.

By the way, I'm 60...61 on Sunday. Isn't the time suppose to go backwards now???? 😁

[bethelbee in reply to Claygal]

I am in the states, are you?? It's a treatment that targets a part of the brain to reduce/eliminate depression. You're in a comfortable reclining chair with the device from the machine against your skull. You feel and hear a tapping on your skull, not really painful, more annoying. Sessions are typically 5x wk for 6-7 weeks with each one about 20 minutes. It has a pretty high success rate, but obviously as with any treatment results vary. My Medicare covered my treatment. Sorry to hear about your sweating issue. Hope they can find the cause! And, really sorry about your nerve pain. I have spine issues..have had one back surgery at L2L3 and need another at L4L5 but have had to postpone it due to other issues. I sympathize with your pain, presently in bed with a heating pad.

As for the friends issue, the 4 of us jr high school gals almost always kept in touch. I was really hurt for a while but frankly I'm to the point of they can kiss my a**.

Happy Birthday 🥳 🎂 for Sunday❗And, yes, we SHOULD be counting backwards. (Let me know if you have any questions about TMS, will be happy to answer; I'm a big advocate)