Missing my beloved cat: Last Thursday... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Missing my beloved cat

EndUser13 profile image
18 Replies

Last Thursday evening my cat escaped from my place. I know it was an accident, she must have fallen through the screen I found knocked out of one of my windows. She'd done it once before but I had found her within a matter of hours and have never had my windows opened far enough for her to get through since... or so I thought.

I feel heartsick. I'm disabled in such a way that I really don't leave my house let alone wander around on private property yelling "here kitty kitty". I have done my due diligence posting on various places online, calling where I can and I'm making some wanted flyers.

I live in the middle of nowhere. I'll talk to two people on the phone sporadically but I live a very isolated, shut-off existence in which this cat is such a HUGE part of my life. It bothers me how lifeless and quiet my house has been these last few days.

I know I'm doing all of the right things I can do to try to get her back, but I can't shake the feeling I'll never see her again. It's not simply a matter of not being positive or having faith, I ALWAYS lose out in life. I always get by with less than, waiting longer and paying more... I ask for so little in life and after only having this beautiful girl for a little over a year she's suddenly gone... and I didn't even do anything wrong. I left a window open a little too much.

I keep cycling through a number of emotions like heart-wrenching sadness, anger, desperation... I've really been having a hard time with enough things in my life lately but this, this has hit me harder than anything else.

I can't focus but I know I need to force myself to step away from this for a bit... I can feel anxiety crawling up behind me, whispering threats of doom. I've broken down a couple of times lately and had some pretty nasty panic attacks and despite dealing with them pretty well, it still sucks... I still feel so lost and hopeless.

Writing this I realize how fast my thoughts are and how they're going off in every direction imaginable. I just wish I had her back, I ask for so little out of life...

Anyway, thanks for listening.

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EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13
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18 Replies
Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Aww I’m so sorry that you lost your beloved cat lots of love and support❤️🫂

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to Hb2003

Thank you Hiba, I'm hoping beyond hope she'll turn up

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to EndUser13

Your welcome ☺️ . I hope that too

Pinkie56 profile image
Pinkie56

do you have someone who comes in to help you with shopping & such? Im sure they would be glad to look for the cat.

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to Pinkie56

Yes and no... and not likely

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Did you’re cat get microchipped ?

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to Hb2003

I always meant to but never did. I hardly ever leave my home and never really had the opportunity to get it done. Before covid people like me were ignored badly enough... these days, I'm barely a part of the world. I regret not having it done yet I can't guilt-trip myself for things I'm not able to do :/

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to EndUser13

It’s ok don’t blame yourself it’s going to be ok

Marshall64 profile image
Marshall64

I have heard that you should leave a bowl of food on the porch to hopefully attract them back. Sorry you are going through this..

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to Marshall64

Thank you! There are far too many cats outdoors around here, it would just attract the wrong cats. I am keeping an ear out and going out often, I don't think she's in the immediate area

TangledUpIn profile image
TangledUpIn

So sorry about your beloved cat. On Nextdoor there are a lot of missing cat posts and they always say to leave the cat box outside next to the door. This helps the cat find home.😼😽🙀

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to TangledUpIn

Thank you. I created an account just to post something about her. Despite her being an indoor kitty I don't think she's so oblivious that she doesn't know where she lives and leaving litter out would just attract more aggressive outdoorsy kitties.

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13

If I respond "I didn't think you were" is it going to antagonize a tête-à-tête?

My cat is familiar with the smell of my home and I'm sure she can vaguely figure out where it is with her superior sense of smell.

I know you mean well, but your suggestion would ultimately be harmful and I get the feeling you're reading into a tone of voice that doesn't exist in type. I've been keeping a window open so I can keep an ear out and my front door open during the days... there's a whole bunch of smells here for all the local animals. Hopefully nothing offensive 🤣

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra

Let us know when she comes back.❤️🏄‍♀️

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra in reply to Isinatra

Jeez, I did it again! I hit the wrong emoji. Need to delete that laughing guy. It’s gonna get me into trouble. I edited it.❤️🏄‍♀️

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to Isinatra

Thank you

Sprinkle1 profile image
Sprinkle1

You poor soul, I feel for you, I am a cat lover and have had many cats over the years, I have two now, both from kittens, Zebra is 16 and like me (I'll be 79 tomorrow) getting older, she sleeps a lot, still goes out on the deck and gets some sun. Sprinkle is 7 and still likes to go out. Zebra has become more affectionate now, she was born feral in my back garden in Calif. I brought her with me and a stray who adopted me, he was a love, I lost him at about age 7 to a stroke. I still miss him, my favorite cat "Mouse" was so clever and loving, I had him to 17, his kidneys failed, I had him cremated, he is going in my box with me when I go. Have you tried putting out her favorite food, they usually come home when they are hungry, and if she smells it it could attract her, are there coyotes in the area? Unfortunately they will kill cats. Is there a barn she could have got shut into? I do so hope by now she has come home. I send you love, peace and big hugs.......

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to Sprinkle1

Thank you for your kind words, I've always said I cared more of animals than people 😅

While the area I live in is remote, it's still village-esque... so no coyotes, but enough cars. She's been gone a week and I FINALLY got some flyers printed out, so maybe with help from my neighbors I'll get something. At this point I'm starting to accept that I may never see her again, I just can't imagine she wouldn't have returned home and I've searched all over every night, calling her and squeaky this little chirping bird toy of hers, shaking treats. I'm heartbroken and I'm afraid that I'm simply going to end up never knowing what became of her. It's particularly hard because I won't see people but maybe 2-3 times a month for just a few minutes, so she's been a huge part of my life. It's amazing the kind of company a cat or dog can offer!

If I find her... or ultimately later down the road I get a new kitty, I'm going to buy a GPS tracking collar and get her micro-chipped.

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