Is it the right time for my for friends cat?

[Cb1963]

I'm posting this message on behalf on my friend, she suffers with anxiety and is worried about her cat, she has a cat that could be getting on towards 18 years of age, however she ( the cat) hasn't many teeth left, and has gone awfully skinny, she wanted to ME, to take her to take the cat to the vets and get her put to sleep 😪, now i would feel guilty, and I really don't want to be apart of this situation , now, I feel that the cat has still some quality life left in her, she can still walk, and purrs etc, I think that while this cat can walk, eat and use a litter tray I feel that the time isn't upon the cats 9 lives, I said if that the cat starts to stumble and no longer eat, and is struggling in general then I'll get involved, obviously the cat looks like a bag of bones, but am I the one who's been cruel, I really don't want to be the one who takes this cat to the vet, I'm hoping that she just eventually fades away at home, sorry for this long post,any advice is grateful appreciated, thanks Chris 😇

[Hidden]

sounds strange that she would leave this up to you...

[Cb1963 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply, I shall speak to her soon 😊

[hypercat54]

No and no. It is not up to you to do this for her, but how about suggesting you go with her to help her. She needs to be guided by what the vet thinks anyway as they will advise her.

It seems clear the cat is suffering and 18 is a very good age. It is cruel to keep an animal if it is in pain and 'leaving it to fade away at home' is totally unacceptable and not kind at all, this is actually very cruel and not anything a true pet lover would do.

I do hope if you ever have a pet you think very carefully about this attitude. We are totally responsible for our animals health and well being and the kindest thing to do when our beloved pets have had enough is to end it humanely for them. It is the last kind thing we can do for them.

I understand it is very hard having to do this and how guilty you feel as I have been through it myself with my cats over many years, but it's not a reason to shirk it. It's very hard but it just has to be done.

[Cb1963 in reply to hypercat54]

I don't have a pet , and I certainly don't have this particular care free attitude about animals, I've worked on a free hold with animals, and it ( the cat) still functions well within its self, its hard to describe everything in finite detail, and yes, I understand what you are saying, and yet feel like I'm the who's being put into this position , I feel that the cat still has a certain quality of life, and I don't think the time is right, everyone could say its now is the time, but this cat ISN'T in pain, and gets around, she doesn't seem to have any other problems, however i shall personally take all your points on board, but i will explain these words of wisdom to my friend and hopefully a trip to the vets can either say that yes I'm afraid to say that now is the right time, thanks for your reply.

[bethelbee in reply to Cb1963]

The cat could be in pain . Animals are good at hiding their discomfort. The cat needs to go to the vet and the owner needs to take it. The friend can go for support but shouldn't be responsible for taking it..

[Cb1963 in reply to bethelbee]

I'm the friend, so I'm prepared to go to the vet, so all options are on the table, it needs to be discussed soon, its hard as I think the cat has some quality life left in her, but you could go to one vet, and they could say one thing, and you could take it to another and they'd have another opinion, this cat is still eating, walking and meowing, but she is old, I don't like having the situation of being told just because of her age (18 or so) it's still not easy and I have my own opinion, but if things go wrong, the cat will be taken to the vet straight away, she's treated like a princess, so she doesn't need or want for nothing, she jumps up in front of the television, and is a pain in the backside 🤣 I have to visit my friend, and check on the cat , because she's registered blind, so it's not straightforward, thanks for your reply 😇

[bethelbee in reply to Cb1963]

I am a cat lover and owner, just looking out for the cat's best interest. Not making any judgments. Glad you will be there for the support. It's always a tough judgment call, but of course the vet usually makes the final decision. Hope all goes well.

[Cb1963 in reply to bethelbee]

Yes, thanks very much , I think my friend is still shell shocked from the last visit to the vets,as we both expected to bring back a lovely friendly cat back home, that was another stray that made his home with her, a few years ago, he was a black and white male with his beautiful tuxedo suit on😊 , he climbed in through her bottomed window flat and that was him, he actually disappeared one day, and she was worried sick, and it was only by sheer chance I noticed a poster up in the bus shelter saying is this your cat, he had been knocked down, but he ended up in a vets practice nearly 20 miles away!!!If it wasn't for me sat next to her on this bus journey she would have never would have got him back, as he was only getting used to being in her flat, anyway he got chipped, and that was him a permanent home, but sadly he had an enlarged heart, so, he had a few years with her, but then he had panting problems, we took him to the vets, and that very day they put him to sleep 😪,but at 7 years of age it was a shock, so its all going to be carefully looked at, and I will make sure that this elderly cat doesn't suffer either by keeping her away from a vets, thanks again 😇

[bethelbee in reply to Cb1963]

I can certainly feel the love she has for her cat..my heart goes out her..You are a great friend ♥️

[Cb1963 in reply to bethelbee]

It's going to be a horrible day, I know it's not far away, so, I shall be around regardless, I cried myself when the big cat was put to sleep, and I've been around for this cats life all of its 18 years, so, I've known this friend of mine for well over 20 years, so I know how she's going be come that day, tough times ahead, thanks for your reply, have a pleasant evening ❤

[Mrspjsmom]

It's probably best for your friend to go to the vet. You can offer to go with her for support but it's something that needs to be done soon. At the age of 18 the cat could get very ill very quickly. One of my cats lost alot of weight over a period of time. I took him to the vet and they did some tests and gave him some medication but less than a week later it was time to let him go. He went from slowly losing weight to suffering in just a few days.

[Cb1963 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Hey thanks very much, I think my friend is still struggling to get head round from losing a cat from a couple of years ago, he was a perfectly well looking cat, 7 years of age, however he started to pant, and we both took him to the vets, and came back empty handed, he had to be put to sleep, he had heart problems, so yes, I'm in agreement with you all, so, yes, I have told her, but, I think she's petrified of losing this cat, the clock is ticking down, and I know time is nearly up, it will happen, its trying to persuade her that this is the best way, I think she's in denial, maybe a long discussion will get this cats health and her reasoning into the open, its difficult for me to force her to doing something that she is struggling with, especially when she has anxiety and depression problems, thanks for your kind response 😇

[Mrspjsmom in reply to Cb1963]

I had two cats. The one I mentioned and his sister. A year apart almost to the day I had to take them to the vet and came home alone. It is hard and your friend is probably in denial. But in her heart I'm sure she knows.

[Blueruth]

If she loves this cat she will so regret asking you to take her in. It isn’t fair to you either. No idea if she is ready. That is an owner vet discussion. If she is incapable of taking care of the cat it may be the right answer but we really can’t know that.

[Cb1963 in reply to Blueruth]

Thanks for your reply

[Roxylox]

I would feel like you do. I think it seems the cat has a quality of life too from what you write.

When you are obviously not comfortable with it, definitely don't do it.

I feel it might have reverberations on your own health.

Think of yourself. It is not worth the guilt.

[Cb1963 in reply to Roxylox]

I have said, I think when however when the time is right I will probably take the cat to the vets, on the condition she also comes with me, its since lock down that her own health has had issues, so I'm not against taking the cat to the vets, but not yet, and of course I wouldn't let any animal suffer so I shall be keeping an eye on this over the coming weeks, thank you for your reply.

[san_ray70 in reply to Roxylox]

My cat lived until 18 she got less active, but seemed happy to lie in the sun. That is where we found her, she died in peace, they wanted to do blood tests, but I did not want her messed with. She did not like going to the vets. I think she died happy in her favourite spot.

[Roxylox in reply to san_ray70]

I would tbink she did.

[Cb1963 in reply to san_ray70]

That's exactly how this cat is, she just loves the sunshine, of course everyone has opinions, and I wasn't disregarding anyone's thoughts, because nobody can see the cat, or how she walks and eats, I was looking for advice, and it's such a touchy subject, and I have my own thoughts, yes it would be nice if she had her last days in the summer sun, and that would be her final days on the stairway to cat heaven , but we'll see , nothing is ruled out, but I'm not going to push the subject in the same breath , I think we are both are having to agree and it's getting towards a time where the conversation is being discussed, so, all in all, its still very difficult, 😌

[Midori]

She should take her own cat to the vet, the cat will be frightened without the owner, I have always taken my own pets to the vet for that final journey, and stayed with them until they pass. Only then does the collar come off. They need the reassurance. Your friend is being insensitive to the cat's needs.

Animals are sensitive to things like this, being in the vets itself is worrying for them, especially without their owner present. I'm sure she wouldn't like her pet to feel alone and terrified with just strangers around.

Cheers, Midori

[Cb1963 in reply to Midori]

I agree with your sentiments totally, and I will be passing these various conversations on, I have to broach the subject carefully as this person suffers with anxiety and depression and has hardly been out the door since lock down, she is also registered blind and has other health issues, so its difficult sometimes for her, but I will be taking baby steps towards the right reasons for the cats welfare, thanks for your reply 😇

[Midori in reply to Cb1963]

There's no reason for you not to go with them, but, ultimately the cat will need it's familiar person there.

[Cb1963 in reply to Midori]

I will support her, which I have been doing, but there's been a lot going on at the moment, and her sister is in and out of hospital, and it's all very complicated, but rest assured i will be trying my best for both parties cat and her to make sure that the right outcome is reached, many thanks for taking your time to reply 😇

[Hidden]

That’s so very sad. I can understand her level of upset and fear in case the vet has to put the wee cat to sleep. However I don’t think a vet would allow anyone else to deal with the cat but it’s owner!The wee cat definitely needs to see a vet either way. If it does need to be pts then she would need to sign for the injection to give her permission as the owner! It’s the hardest situation to be in but she owes the wee cat. Anything that happens is for the wee cats sake. She would be doing it for her wee cat not to it. You wouldn’t want to keep it here at all costs if it’s really unwell. I’ve had to be with my dogs when they’ve had to be put to sleep and it’s beyond heartbreaking for us to lose them but we have to do it through love and kindness towards them. They rely on us for everything even that! The vet nurses and vets can be a huge support at that time. Why not suggest that you go together for support and to lessen the wee cats anxiety. It’s all so very peaceful when it has to happen. You are not rushed but given time to say goodbye. No matter how hard it is to be there to show strength and support for her wee cat is beyond difficult and heartbreaking but I feel to be there and to support the wee cat rather than someone else taking it in would mean so much to the wee cat. It really is the hardest thing to do but it’s done for the love of the wee cat. Please give your friend and her wee cat a big cuddle from me. Sending prayers hugs and love to all three of you. 🙏🏻🍀🐾💔😘xx

[Cb1963 in reply to Hidden]

Aw thanks for your lovely reply, yes, I have all these solutions in my own head as well, and yes I agree with you totally, she Is a wonderful person, and won't neglect this cat, she adopted a wild stray that made itself comfortable and was coming in and stealing cat food from the other cats bowls, it wouldn't even let you stroke it, but eventually after a wild winter, the cats protection league said would she adopt him, and of course she said yes, and now he's turned into a lovely friendly cat, no more outdoor winters, and a warm home , so I will pass your kind words on, and thank you very much 😇

[MaggieSylvie]

Not having teeth isn't helping the cat but it is probably losing weight for another reason. It is common for cats to have kidney problems in old age or even thyroid conditions. Also, I'm sorry to say that while purring might comfort the cat's owner, vets will tell you it is a reflex action and it is still a mystery to scientists why and how it occurs. Sadly, from what you say, I don't think the cat has many days left. It is nearly impossible for a cat owner to come to terms with that, but she must be persuaded.

[Cb1963 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yes, I agree with you, and I will have a conversation with her about this, and probably its time to really say its right to say a trip to the vets is in order, its a subject that is now to the forefront from the many replies, thanks for your input 😇

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Cb1963]

Coincidence - I've just seen a vet talking about how cat food does not contain what cats need, and saying Feline40 (which is expensive), sprinkled over the food will provide everything that is missing. Around £50 a jar, it might prevent that kind of vet's fee. See online. I saw it on FaceBook.

[Cb1963 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

How interesting, just talking about cat food, she has 5 cats, and no matter what type of food they get they are all fussy eaters, and just lick the gravy off the ' meat' it doesn't even look like meat and just looks a little compressed product, they all get different types of food, tinned meat, sachets, or kibbles, or biscuits, so the wet food as far as I'm concerned seems to be waste of time , its not as if than ask you cats if they like the food 🤷‍♂️, thanks for your reply 🙂

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Cb1963]

Feline40 is a powder that you sprinkle on their existing food. The way normal cat food is processed takes pretty much all the goodness out of it so they are lacking in essential vitamins and enzymes that help digestion. Of course, they shouldn't have cows' milk or chocolate treats - things I have given all my cats in the past (they all lived long lives). Trouble is, it seems, all their organs are prone to various diseases.

[Cb1963]

I appreciate your advice about this product, yes I know about the other items, it makes you wonder why or what reasons they produce so called 'cat food ' that doesn't really give cats the right nutrition, and cat food is no longer that cheap , I don't know if there's any difference between the 'cheaper 'brands or the top of the range brands 🤔?

Or do they or lack in these vital vitamins as well etc?

Sorry for asking but of course any helpful advice you have is most appreciated , thanks for replying 👍