Surrendering

[ODAT]

I feel like I’m at the end of my rope and I’m flailing around for something to grab onto. Never done something like this before, but desperation has a way of humbling us all and everntually we must surrender. That is my condition. I’m defeated. I’m there. My depression and anxiety have consumed me and I am unable to function. I had to take a couple weeks off work and am trying desperately to find an answer to coping through this. Not sure when it all started exactly. Probably always has some predisposition. I know my brother’s death plays a significant role. Just looking for anything anyone can suggest. I’m open and willing to do about anything to find relief. I’m seeing a therapist weekly. I do daily mindfulness meditations. Focused on exercise and eating healthy. Doctor has me on several meds including 20 mg Prozac daily. Not sure what else I can do. Any advice or words of hope are welcomed. God bless and have mercy on us all.

[mentalcase]

I'm going through the same thing. I've been on so many different meds that work for awhile and then quit. I've seen lots of therapists through the years and just started seeing another one. They don't understand what we're going through unless they've been there. Someone on here mentioned gene testing to find out what medicines will help. I did some research on it and fortunately there is someone where I live that does the testing. I have an appointment next month and hoping that it works. I'm so tired of living with depression. I also shut down and don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone. I live by myself and have no friends or family for support. It's a lonely life. I found this site last week and the people here have really helped. I finally have someone to talk to that understands and knows what I'm going through.

[Pugglesworth]

My condolences for your brother.

Loss is hard to get through. But you, like many before you, will. It takes patience with yourself, lots of self-care and just being where you are and who you are. I know it sucks because I've suffered, but there is hope. All things pass away: grief, fear and our sense of loss. They may return, but knowing they are finite helps.

And they are, quite simply, states of mind.

And like all states of mind they are ephemeral. Like the wind. The wind comes, we feel it and it goes away.

Everything you're doing helps.

A jug is filled one drop at a time.

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[DodgeDhanda]

Hi ODAT.

My condolences on your loss & I also wish to say you have not reached the end of any rope you have , in fact you've only just reached the tip of a massive iceberg of help & understanding within this group.

So this is only the beginning of your journey. Also only you can change you , not anyone else.

Take up reading if you don't already as I feel you need to activate your own mind & get it out of the negative thought pool .

[seeking-soul]

Hi ODAT.As you can see you're not alone. To feel despair is horrid - but actually normal. Many of us have been there and will be there again sometime. That doesn't help you except you don't have to feel that there is something "wrong" with you :-)Having said that, we are all different and respond to different things. When I've been down I've been prescribed a variety of medication - the everyday pills like Prozac; Sertraline; Escitalopram; Seroxat and I think maybe they helped a bit with low mood, but not really with anxiety... and I've always ended up stopping them after a while. I'm sure they are much more helpful for some people tho so if you've been prescribed them it's best to take them until told otherwise.

I've also had a few series of sessions with counsellors / psychologists. These have been interesting as I've learned about mindfulness and ACT (a form of CBT); and I've enjoyed the opportunity to have someone take an interest in how I'm feeling and giving me an opportunity to explore what steps I can take.

Ultimately however for me, improvement has only really come either with time (like after my father died) or changing circumstances that are contributing to my anxiety (like changing a job role).

Finding understanding (and patient!) people to chat with I have always found to be important.

So take a deep breath; keep your chin up; be patient with yourself; accept that you will feel worse some days than others; keep talking to understanding people and consider any changes you can make that will reduce your anxiety.

[SirGrits]

Hey ODAT, I'm sorry for your loss. If what you're experiencing is mostly from grief, then let the process progress. Your therapist will help guide you. But if you don't feel like it's clicking with him/her then try and be comfortable finding another. When I lost my brother, I feel like it took about a year to get over but my parents still haven't quite shook it off even after nearly 3 years. My point in bringing that up is too express that grief is different for each of us and differs from one person to the next. There isn't a right or wrong way to grieve, just let it happen.And the anxiety, depression is a marathon not a sprint. Try and listen to your coach (your therapist) and come here to vent.

Welcome aboard and prayers.