A little update

[Imgarbage]

I haven’t been on here in a while. Not really sure why. My wife decided she wanted to divorce and we were going to tell the kids but that day I asked if she was sure she said no that she needs more time to make sure. So still in limbo, She doesn’t talk or text me unless I initiate it. I feel more hurt everyday this goes on. I feel totally abandoned by her. I know it’s over between us I don’t know why she tortures me.I am still sober since October.

The one day I was feeling really depressed and lonely and this woman I went to high school with messaged me out of the blue like perfect timing like fate or something. We’ve been talking ever since. She’s had a few bad abusive marriages like really bad situations. And all the stuff I’ve been through . Is it possible two good people like us found each other. A chance at real love. Fate or destiny I don’t know. Definitely not rushing into anything. All I know is it feels right to talk to her and the times we don’t it feels like something is wrong with the universe. I haven’t felt like this I can sense the genuine care and feelings this woman has for me and we haven’t met since 92. And this is how I know it’s over between me and my wife not because I’m talking to this woman but because I never felt this kind of connection or feelings coming from my wife I know now she really never loved me and we both deserve better and to find something real Sorry for the rant just needed to get it out any advice or insight welcomed

[Agora1]

Hi my friend...I can't get myself to call you garbage (how sad that your teacher did that to you many years ago and yet the stigma still stays with you)

What are the chances of someone who knew you in high school would text you 29 years later.

Could be fate, however I would take my time in venturing into another relationship.

You both come into this rekindling with a lot of baggage. I'm a romantic at heart but make sure you keep reality in check. Sometimes people come into our lives for a reason (be it hers or yours). Sometimes it's for a season, sometimes for a lifetime. Only time will tell.

We're here for you, if you need to vent or talk, we're here to listen as well. xx

[Imgarbage in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your advice and kind words definitely taking it slow

[Agora1 in reply to Imgarbage]

Stay grounded my friend. When the time is right, everything will fall into place.

Believe in that xx

[Hidden]

I am glad you found someone knew to talk to but definitely take things slow. After any relationship let alone a marriage it's easy to let affection be misconstrued as true love. I am not saying that is the case here, I am just warning it is a pitfall that happens to all of us regardless of age. Just be open and honest and take things as they come.

[Imgarbage in reply to Hidden]

I totally understand and i am going slow for that reason and I couldn’t withstand another broken heart anytime soon and I would not want to hurt this woman if my feelings aren’t true

[Hidden in reply to Imgarbage]

This is good. I wish you the best of luck.

[Marshall64]

Just curious, do you think you will feel any pain if the divorce goes through?

[Imgarbage in reply to Marshall64]

Yes I think so I loved my wife for 22 years and part of me still does want us to work it out but I know in my heart she is not in love with me. And the not knowing if she was coming back or not was torture so much anxiety that when she decided it was over before it eventually was relief for me

[Puppyrunner]

PLEASE DON'T be sorry for the "rant". I really feel like I can relate to a lot of what you were saying but kind of in a different perspective. I am the one in the relationship that has been asking for a divorce. But unfortunately my husband is the one that has been making me feel like it is in limbo. I already told my family, but he won't tell his. When I ask him how he feels about divorce he always gives me answers like he doesn't know what he wants or how he feels about it. Please keep in mind I have been really unhappy for a long time and I have been crying out for help to him because I really wanted it to work. But he keeps deflecting and telling me everything is in my head. I'm not trying to make your post about me, but I know divorce is a really hard subject. Even if BOTH parties are willing. But I think it might be beneficial if we talk to each other about our experiences. I feel like you are like me and always feel like a burden when you talk to people about your problems. That is why I feel like I have nobody to help me through this tough time. I don't have anybody that makes me feel like maybe it can work out with someone else, but I absolutely don't judge you for feeling that way. I know what it is like to be in a marriage that is not working. To be in a marriage where you feel like the other person doesn't care or love you.

[Imgarbage in reply to Puppyrunner]

I am glad you reached out I am happy to talk and welcome your perspective I don’t have to many people to talk to and like you say wan to burden anybody

[Puppyrunner in reply to Imgarbage]

Trust me I welcome your "ranting". It makes me feel like I am not going through this alone. So anytime you want to talk about the struggles of divorce or even moving forward with someone new I am happy to listen. I have nobody to talk to and this site is pretty much all I have. So any talking you want to do I welcome with open arms.

[swordfishll in reply to Puppyrunner]

Same. Thinking about divorce a lot. Both of you, message me any time to chat.

[Puppyrunner]

what makes you feel like she was never in love with you?