Out of money and suicidal

[yanato]

I know I'm not the only one who is crossing a bad path right now, but in this moment I'm thinking what I'm going to eat tomorrow. I've been seeking jobs without any luck. I really try my best and try to show them my skills but they still say "we call you" try to look happy and always get my medicine against anxiety and depression but at this moment I'm thinking is better to die. I have no family who can provide me support or a hug. I always cry alone in bed. No boyfriend no social life and now no money. I just want to kill myself so bad. I don't think I'm a bad person but I don't know why my life is sucking so bad since I was born

[Hidden]

Hey. I'm glad you're here.

[Freesoul66]

So sorry to hear you are in pain.... take a deep breath and try and sleep. Tmw is another day and you will try again. Think about your strengths. All the beautiful talents you have. A job will come thru.... soon. Xo

[Hidden]

It's bad now yes but please let time pass you'll see things will get much better! These tough times build character. Please please don't commit suicide! The economy's going to get better really soon and jobs will be plentiful and you will be much happier I promise. The important thing is let time pass during these tough times and dream of a better future. And please talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts you could go to the emergency room or a doctor therapist.

[13ga]

hi yanato;

i'm sorry to hear the pain you're clearly going thru. there are a couple thoughts i'd like to share with you.

* you are never alone. you may be isolated; you may be unaware that others are dealing with the same things that you are .... but you are most definitely not alone. there are others dealing now, and have dealt with the pain you now endure.

* i personally have been where you are. please note: there is only 1 single reason i'm here writing to you now. suicide is the final exit plan from this life. this may seem obvious - but please bear me out. there is no return from this exit. why am i still here? because on countless occasions i asked myself - am i ready to permanently close the door on ALL future possibilities? can i put off my exit just 1 more day to see if the next day shows more promise? i can, afterall - always execute my exit plan. once done tho - i can never come back. i can't re-open all the future doors of possible opportunities, possible joys.

i can tell you, that i have experienced wonders, joys, successes, triumphs, and many other adjectives, that have made me grateful that i didn't shut the door to those things so many years ago. has my life been only those things? absolutely not. one thing i've learned - life can SUCK some of the time. we do what we need to do most of the time - so that we can LIVE for and enjoy those tiny little bits that make it all worth while.

yonato - i know there is a peace that comes with death. i also know that when we acquire that peace - we will be there for billions of years. we have ONLY 80 + or - years, to explore, and to make what we can of this life. but you have to be here to be able to walk thru those future doors of opportunity. the exit door- it's always there. but all those other doors - you have to avoid stepping thru the exit, if you want to see what's behind the others.

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to 13ga]

A really great post, 13ga. I realize the pain you are in Yanato and I’m sorry you’re going through it. This post from 13ga is one to go over multiple times....whenever you feel like you can’t go on. It’s ok to feel anything; just know that feelings, like thoughts, come and go. They change if we can let them.

[13ga in reply to Catsamaze]

great point, catsamaze...

feelings are what they are - and we do need to acknowledge them. good or bad. feelings are never right or wrong. they simply are. how we deal with them - that's what's in our control.

feelings are like the weather in chicago; don't like it? wait 5 minutes.

[Dianenonebutme]

I have been here, tearful and no where to turn, it it is awful, I used the Samaritans as my personal emergency counselling 0330 094 5717 call them please

[Dianenonebutme]

Thank you so much for letting us know how you feel, at some stage in everyone’s life they feel like ‘what is the point’. I become mechanical, get up wash, put on my clothes, I sing happy songs sadly and badly. Rastaman vibrations POSTIVEI sing positive loud. It seems to do something positive. Here’s a list of other songs that change my mood.

thepioneerwoman.com/news-en...

I have been here, tearful and no where to turn, it it is awful, I used the Samaritans as my personal emergency counselling 0330 094 5717 call them please. Also call the citizens advise they will give you a voucher for the food bank

If you’re in financial crisis and live in England or Wales, please call 0808 2082138 for free (open Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm) to talk confidentially to a trained Citizens Advice

[13ga in reply to Dianenonebutme]

Diane - dont want to go off-topic, but did want to say welcome to a fellow vegan!!

great advice and resources!

[Yorisa_]

Hello Yanato, I feel what you feel right now. You can't resist the sadness and tears that come out. but I'm here one of the people who support you

[yanato]

Thank you for your words, today is not a great day, I just got 4 calls saying they already gave the job to another person but they will keep my profile for future positions

[yanato]

Hi there just want to say I finally got a job I'm running out of money but I will start this Monday. Now I'm looking to get a pair of black shoes. Thank you!

[Picat in reply to yanato]

🤗good luck for the new job! Keep positive and feel grateful that the goodness will follow you ❤️