Suicidal

[diana19296]

Hi this is my second post on here.. my boyfriend left me 3 weeks ago because of my bad mental health during lockdown. I feel useless and abandoned. I just want to end it all and I don't know what to do with myself I've tried everything and I just revert back to crying. I miss him so much I just feel like no one is ever going to love me because I'm not as strong as other people. Life feels so pointless

[Celtic27]

Diana please don't think like that you are worth so much more to those around you do you not have someone who can help you! You sound as if you've got so much more to give I would give things a bit more time then try talking to him offer to go to counselling if he will go! I truelly hope things go well for you take care david

[diana19296 in reply to Celtic27]

He doesn't want to even talk to me.. like I'm the worst person in the world for feeling things I can't control. I have had such a hard life so far when will it all just stop I'm so tired

[Hidden in reply to diana19296]

Hi Diana. If there's one thing I've learned when a significant has left me because my mental health became too much for them (this just recently happened, and has been something I've faced countless times throughout my 37 years of existence) .... it is their freaking loss, not mine. I've learned that I am a great person worthy of being loved and treated with respect. Someone shared this with me once, "if you don't stick with me during my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." There will be someone else that will show you the love you deserve to have because you are human.

Your story is relatable. Feel free to message at any time. I can easily swap breakup stories with you and how I've gotten out of that deep dark hole of despair and lost hope.

[diana19296 in reply to Hidden]

I don't get it.. do people think that people don't struggle ? I don't know if I can go through this again

[Hidden in reply to diana19296]

You can get through this, and you will. Unfortunately, there are people that don't know how to deal with others that aren't as perfect as themselves. And that's their problem to figure out. But hinging your self-worth on someone else will always be a pitfall. Learn to love yourself. Learn to care about yourself. Learn to live your life for yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

[Hidden]

Keep writing us Diana !!

You're not Alone,

Catman

🐈

. ! .

😊

[HawthorneBerry]

Oh my love.....my heart truly goes out to you. I know that feeling of heartache. It seems like it will never stop. Please talk to us on here. Don’t give up....

💛🧡❤️

[Hidden]

Hi I just read both your posts. Sounds like you have been struggling with little to no support from your family or your boyfriend... please keep reaching out. This support group is here for you.

Don’t let the feelings deceive you; you are not useless and life is not pointless; it’s so hard to see the “big picture” when you’re down and in the grip of depression. Try to believe, you can get through this and life can get better.

[tndk]

Please, Please keep living even though you don’t feel like it. Take it from this middle aged woman who has endured many a break up and felt the most devastating depths of sorrow.... especially in my 20’s and 30’s... I thought life was ending but now those break ups are small moments in the past... now I’ve learned to look within for what I need, that no person place or thing, even if they leave ... would leave me completely devastated because I know I am enough NO. MATTER. WHAT!! This comes with age and wisdom so take it one minute, day at a time... give yourself grace!🙏🏽

[diana19296 in reply to tndk]

Everyone says this but I don't know if I can go through this heartache again. I really want to settle and have kids eventually I thought I was going to marry this guy.. I'm just so devastated. I don't know where to go for help at all. The psychiatry community service won't take me on for therapy and I can't afford private I have rent and driving lessons to pay for and I don't even know what therapist would be good for me. The Gp want to start me on a new antidepressant but the past 2 haven't worked.. I don't think I could handle the side effects again. I live with strangers, they are nice people but they have their own lives. I literally don't know what to do with myself, I'm just so tired

[mollykay70]

I understand the feelings you are having. It’s been just a few weeks. It’s won’t be like this forever. It’s good to cry and let it out. You won’t cry forever.

Don’t blame yourself. People that don’t have depression often can’t relate to how a person can just be sad for no reason. It’s illogical. Maybe your BF wasn’t the right person for you because he is not strong enough to be there for you when you are having a hard time. It’s not your fault!!

Be kind to yourself. One day at a time. Don’t give up on yourself. There are many people that care and are here for you.

[diana19296 in reply to mollykay70]

Men my age are so fickle, they just go at the slightest inconvenience. All I want is to have a family and give them my love. All my friends are settling and moved in with their partners and I feel like that day will never come for me. The break up just feels like a punishment for being sick

[mollykay70 in reply to diana19296]

I completely understand. Remember those thoughts about feeling unworthy or that you are being punished are the mental illness talking. Tell that depression monster to BACK OFF! 😀

[diana19296]

I really just don't see the point anymore

[Hidden in reply to diana19296]

It's not a matter of seeing the point, because you can't and won't see the point when you're in the deep dark hole of depression and suicidal thought. The point comes along when you least expect it. I know that's cliche and a platitude, but there's a lot of truth to it.

I'm a 37-year-old male that lives on my own, just out of a relationship that I thought and believed would be my last, and it wasn't. But I've learned in the last 3 months since my ex walked away from our relationship, that focusing on myself, needs and wants, puts me on a path that will lead me to the life I have the desire to have. And if it doesn't, well then at least I've given it a shot and everything I have and don't regret ending my life before that time.