I need to vent, tired, unmotivated, dissatisfied

[nxl71]

Im tired. All the time. And i have no motivation to do anything, every day when i wake up im asking myself whats the point if i am going to feel bad. I need to do a lot of stuff and i cant get myself to do them. I have an important semester this year at uni, the hardest, and i can barely focus on the courses because im tired. I have done some blood tests and everything is alright. So it's probably my mental health. And i feel pretty weak. My life this year was so bad, but could manage it, until i became tired. And now im tired and constantly worrying about me feeling tired and sad. My appetite sucks, despite feeling hungry. My social life sucks, because im staying home to protect my parents due to covid while i see my friends having fun, going to other friends' places and i hate feeling like this. I cant even go to the gym and i want it so much because i think exercise will help me feel more energetic. I tried home workouts and i dont like them. My parents argue , my mother doesnt let me do anything i want such as going to the gym because of covid. I wanted to move out this winter/spring in an apartment we dont use, she didnt let me until i finish this university year. I feel stuck mentally and unable to become the better version of myself and its frustrating. I hate this version of me so much, i hate the way i feel and i dont know how much longer i can resist. 2020 was been the worst year of my life and now its march 2021, still feeling like crap. I dont know how to fix my energy levels so i can actually do a good job at uni. Sleeping 8-9h didn't help. All the blood tests were fine, all the vitamins/minerals/diabetes/thyroid and many others. How much longer do i have to feel this way? Its going to be hard to push through this spring and im scared of failing my exams,which are so important.

[xshutx]

Hello, thanks for sharing and I'm sorry that you're going through it. I can tell that you care about yourself and your future, this is all temporary and don't worry about things that didn't work out. That just means the universe has other plans. Ever heard that things you struggle to accomplish are sometimes not meant to be? Let it go

Personally, I can understand since I am a student and I do research as well as being a single mom. I've struggled a lot over the years but what has got me to really sit down and concentrate when I have no energy or motivation is this:

-remember why you're doing it, who you can become if you back down and who you will become when you succeed

-take something to provide you with energy, be it a smoothie, supplements, burpees, a cold shower, chia seeds.. whatever to get you jump started.

-have a notebook on the side as you work to write down things that cross your mind that are distracting, you'll get it out of your head and into paper

-think of those people who are normal and slack off bc of video games or some other thins, you're better than that

-do the pomodoro study method. Set a timer for 20m or 40 (going over 45 is not a good idea since our minds will drift off) and take a 10m break to do something you like (cook, clean, Walk, video games, nap, etc)

I get angry at myself and my mind, and I use that anger to fight back and show it who's boss. Especially when it comes to studying or working out bc I know the end result will improve my self esteem.

I hope that this can work for you, if not, perhaps the next reader.

Please share with us what technique helped.

You're smart and capable.

[nxl71 in reply to xshutx]

Thank you so much for your reply. Im going to try my best !

[xshutx in reply to nxl71]

I'm happy to offer help. You got this.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing. I am sorry your are not feeling well and that this has been such a tough time. I think Covid has made life for many of us really tough. It is good new that your blood tests were fine. Are you able to go see a counselor or therapist? Have you talked to your doctor that you could be struggling with depression? Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and often it takes the right type of medication and counseling to get back on track and become more balanced and feel like ourselves.

Being isolated has affected many people's mental health. What is important is to find ways to feel good about yourself and not to allow your thoughts or circumstances to bring you down. What has really helped me is keeping a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of my concerns, my negative thoughts, my situation and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[nxl71 in reply to lovetodance2018]

Hi! Thank you for your kind words. The general doctor i visited recommended me some vitamin D and magnesium supplements, as she suspects some anxiety. I'd rather say im more sad/depressed than anxious, but sometimes there s some anxiety here and there. Personally i would like to avoid depression medication as it's not severe depression and i am afraid it would damage me. My doctor recommended me to see a therapist if i continue to feel like this. Im going to try to change my lifestyle little by little and hope that time will fix things. I just need to survive the next few months and then i will be able to work on myself the way i would like (gym, living alone, improving my relationship with parents etc), but sometimes i feel like i cant take it no more. Its frustrating knowing what things could actually improve your mental and physical health but not being able to do them. Regarding gratitude journal, yes, i started writing 3 things i am grateful for before i go to bed, but sometimes i just cant find 3 every day. Back in 2020 i used to meditate daily and formed a habit, but late autumn i kind of got busy with uni and stopped meditating. Im going to try to make this a habit again. Thanks again!

[lovetodance2018 in reply to nxl71]

Glad to hear you are making the gratitude journal a habit again. I know sometimes it is hard to come up with something you are thankful for but even the smallest thing can help. Also looking at what went well, not what didn't go well. I think a therapist is a good idea. I struggled with sadness and depression for years on and off. A lot was chemical, but getting my thoughts right really was important. A book that really helped me is Battlefield of the Mind. (joycemeyer.org/study/battle... I will be praying for you and am here for you if you ever need to chat. Continuing to pray for you. Hugs.