Good day but need to vent...

I seriously have no patience or tolerance for rude and stupid people. I never want to be rude but sometimes the situation calls for it. It's enough trying to deal with the issues we have and don't need to deal with insensitive, thoughtless idiots, especially when the idiot is family. Made the mistake of stopping by my parents house and another family member was there, one I rarely see but who is aware of my battle with depression over the years. I also have an autoimmune disease that contributes to the depression, severe fatigue at times, and insomnia. And as expected, my mom starts telling her all about my disease like it's entertainment and she can't wait to point out my flaws. None of which is new to me. This other family member looked at me and said in a snarky tone, "you look fine. You don't look sick". I've heard it before from other people and it would upset me and I'd just walk away. But this time I wasn't just going to walk away get upset about it. So I looked at her and calmly said, "well, you don't look stupid but looks can be deceiving". That shut her up and honestly, felt so good! I walked out just as my mom was about to get on me for being so rude instead of standing up for me and telling the her how rude she was. But that's very typical and pretty much how things have been all my life. By the time I got home I was over it and wasn't about to let that ruin my day. And standing up for myself has been a goal for a while so this was just one small step in doing that.

I hope everyone has a good evening a better tomorrow.

[Needtovent]

Hello. I enjoyed your story. Sometimes we need to take a stand and that can help ground us. If you look at my post from yesterday, I got so angry at a family member for lying and let her know. I’m always the quiet one but I was so angry. I’m over it now and no one was hurt by it (well maybe feelings were). I say good for you. Have a good night and better tomorrow. : )

[Hidden in reply to Needtovent]

Thank you. I'm usually the quiet one as well but enough is enough. This was long overdue and should have been done much sooner. And I'm not going to lie, it felt really good!

[JustaGirl22]

Wow! I am so envious of your reply!! I totally wish I could say something snappy back to things like that

[Hidden in reply to JustaGirl22]

I'm not always able to do that but she's been like forever it was long over due. By the time I got home I was laughing about it. The look on her face was priceless! She never expected anything like that from me. I have a feeling she won't be making any more snotty comments to me in the future.

[jkl5500]

A suggestion: You could have replied. "Oh yeah? I didn't know you were a doctor."

That would have given you satisfaction without anyone claiming that you were rude.

All you did was point out the obvious - that she had no business saying that, and was completely in the wrong.

[Hidden in reply to jkl5500]

That wouldn't have been nearly as satisfying, but a bit nicer. And even if I had said that, trust me, it would still have been wrong and rude. With my family, anything I do or say is wrong, been like that since childhood, and they've always taken anyone's side but mine. So I'm at a point where I'm going to stand up for myself with my toxic family and not worry about what they think.

[jkl5500 in reply to Hidden]

Don't get me wrong - you really stuck it to her, and she deserved it. But they can always say "She didn't have to be so rude about it!" They couldn't say that about my response. But it's your call. You're the one who has to deal with it, not me. I wish you all the best for the future.

[hypercat54]

Oh well done. There is nothing like standing up for yourself sometimes to boost your morale and self esteem! I don't think that was rude either! Well if it was she was rude first so deserved it x

[Hidden]

Thank you! But I think it was somewhat rude but with that particular family member I no longer care. She's one of the toxic people I've walked away from which is why I don't see her very often.

[RexieSF7]

I don't condone being "rude" or whatever with other people but I have to say GOOD for you for standing up for yourself. Those of us with chronic illness tend to be looked at "less than" or whatever so people for whatever reason believe that it is OK to walk all over us as if we don't already deal with enough. I applaud you for standing up for yourself as it is NOT OK for people to mistreat us esp. for reasons that they do not understand as yes it does show their ignorance to what is really going on. We did not ask for these situations and of course we are doing our best daily to deal with them. It is good for us to have boundaries and not to allow further toxicities in our life. I have definitely been dismissed even by doctors "because I looked fine" further prolonging treatment and suffering. It is not right to judge a book by its cover." Despite the situation... I am glad that you had a good day!

[Hidden]

Thank you Rexie. I appreciate your support!

[ehh22]

Thanks . I know right . Some ppl has big mouth that likes to spread things . Good thing u stand up for ur self . I also have immune disease. Yeh everyone telling me I look fine and happy but they don’t know what I feel inside. I just hate them.

[Hidden]

What gets to me the most is people who know about my illnesses but ignore it and don't even try to understand or educate themselves so they can understand. But I'm learning to not care so much when people are rude about it. It isn't worth the energy to get upset and angry and I don't want to give those people the power to make me feel like that.

[Hidden]

Great job, and you may have to confront your mom, say exactly what you said here. Why don’t you try being supportive sometimes, it hurts me when you do this and as far back as you remember she has been that way to you. It may just be the way your mom is, her personality and you have to not let it hurt you any longer. But you should address it. My mom was like that and if I tried to tell her she was wrong she would get defensive so eventually I stopped trying to talk to her about how her actions affected me. But I no longer get upset when she does something to me I believe is wrong, I keep positive around her and spend some time with her then I go home.

[Hidden]

Lolly56: To those in my life who don't understand but still are kind I would like to have the power to make them feel like I do at my worst for 1 hour just to show them what I am dealing with and why we cant be like we used to be. For the other assholes who don't believe depression is an illness and that I am weak and or lazy and its all in my mind I would make them feel like I do at my worst for a whole month. Fantasy is wonderful but does not get you anywhere. You have my sympathy.....Robert cass