Unending depression

[Lynne333]

Lost my hubsnd of 57 years.Not interested in anythi g or anyone. Prozac no good.

Daily tears.

Lonely and sad past anything i have ever known.

[Agora1]

My deepest condolences to you Lynne.

I am truly sorry for your loss. xx

[Lynne333 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you.

[b1b1b1]

Yes, I am also a widow. There is simply no easy answer; When you lose a husband you don't just lose a person (although that is the worst part) but you lose the whole fabric of your life. I don't have any real answer. I think it can take a long time and maybe the pain never goes away. It does help a little to keep yourself as busy as you can, although that can be hard to do. Having children and grandchildren also helps. x

[Lynne333 in reply to b1b1b1]

Thank you. So true.

[corgi_fan817]

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs.

[Lynne333 in reply to corgi_fan817]

Thank you.

[Arymretep]

Sending my deepest sympathy, we’ve been married 52yrs. so I can only imagine what you are going through, I hope you can find some peace of mind, to help you through this , I read somewhere that grief is the price we pay for love and I think that’s so true, I also read that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, imagine if you’d never had those 57 wonderful years together, sending love 💕

[Lynne333 in reply to Arymretep]

Thanks for the kind words.

[Mental_b]

I can only send you a lot of hugs and pray that you hold on tight. There's no way I can imagine you pain!

Let the good memories from the 57 years carry you through!

Lots of love from me

[Oshgosh]

my dear,you are going through the grieving process.it’s horrible

No one can take away your memories xx

[Cavalierrubie]

Bless you. 57 years is such a long time and a big loss for you. I am a widow and l know the empty space that is in your heart. I got the depression of grief and didn’t want to get up in the morning. Tears everyday. The thing that saved me was l got a small rescue dog, l don’t know if you like animals but it is a way through. My little dog got me up in the morning. When l sat and cried he brought me a toy to play with him and barked at me. He asked me to take him for a walk. Animals have great intuition when you are in grief and sick. My husband knew he was going to die but he was more worried about me. Your husband would not want you to give up. They say God gives most when most is taken away. You can smile again but at the moment you have to take one day at a time until your mind and body adjust. Life changes all the time and things will come into your life again that you couldn’t have dreamed of. They did mine and although there is a space that no one can fill, my life is not perfect but filled with good things. Take great care of yourself and eat well. Love and prayers.

[NorwegianWood]

Lynne333, that is as hard as it gets!! I won't pretend to know what it's like but I know it's going to be so tough. I'm glad that you're in a doctor's care.

I hope you have some supportive friends to talk to in your grief, for we need friends even in the best of times. I know you will get good support here online. Face-to-face would be better still.

Can you get out to talk to people, go walking, or even sing with people? I know these are all helpful to bear the unbearable.

[Ihatetechnology]

Dear heart,I am so sorry. I wish I could hug you, offer you a cup of tea, hold your hand and tell you that even though it does not feel like it, things will get a little better. You will smile, laugh again, believe it or not. You will see your dear husband again one day so it's not goodbye, but "see you later"! He is more alive than he has ever been and is smiling down at you. You are going to be okay. Be good to yourself. It's okay to cry. Cry, dry face off, and tell yourself good things are ahead. They will come eventually. Take care of you. Best Wishes to you, dear.

[MsSeniora]

Dear Lynne

So sorry your going thru this and for your loss.

It sounds like you had a great, strong, long relationship and you truly miss .

It takes time to heal and it’s hard to get thru especially when others want to hurry you thru their process. But what you are feeling is expected & normal. There is no set rule or time table to heal because everyone is different.

My last episode of depression lasted 3yrs and I had thoughts like you. I not only mourned the loss of a relationship but also the loss of myself, whom I couldn’t find for helping myself

Take baby steps.

A) think about 3 things you are grateful for before you get out of bed.

B) write them down. Know It will be hard at first. C) use this list to help during times you need a boost from yourself first.

D) be sure to find and attend support groups even when you don’t want too

❤️ prayers for your recovery.

[punkster]

Oh my God! I am so sorry for your loss. I have heard that the first year is very hard. My husband lost his father as a teenager and he said that you never get over it, you just learn to live with it. This is so fresh now. Do you have children or grandchildren you can talk to and be with? My sister, who is a widow found that going to a grief support group helped her a lot.

[AlsoStonesFreak]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Lookingforpeace]

May I suggest a grief support group? Check out griefshare.org. They have this group all over and some are virtual.

[Sadmama]

You are grieving. It takes a long time to get past the intense pain. Give yourself some grace and know that one day, you will wake up, and it won't be as bad.

[bethelbee]

I am so sorry for your loss. Can you go see your doctor for a medication check, possible increase dose or medication change to help you through this? May the memories of your husband be a blessing to you. Sending hugs...

[Weatherwoman]

My deepest sympathy --Know how you feel as I lost my Sig. Other of 27 years over a year ago. It's Overwhelming, and So difficult --the "one day at a time" helps me, keeping busy, having a Grief Support Group, etc., but the Feelings of loss, sadness, being without him --well, it gets a little less overwhelming at time goes by; but, this is a Grief journey most of us will go on --SO, we are Not alone. We didn't have any children, and I am older (80) so aging Alone is challenging. Hugs & Healing sent to you.

[Kinlay]

I am so very sorry for your loss and what you are going through... but you WILL get through it. You are experiencing grief. Sadly, no medicine can help with that.

Grief takes time and involves stages (not always experienced in a set order and often one step forward, two steps back). healthline.com/health/stage...

If you can, lean on friends and family during this time and focus as much as possible on all the wonderful memories you shared. A grief support group, where others who are going through this can truly relate, may be helpful. There may be some in your community and many are available online. Just remember: you are NOT alone!

[Midori]

Hi Lynne,

I'm 76, also widowed (33 years ago), so to an extent, I have got past the grieving stage; although the odd thing will remind me. It took me a very long time to realise that he was controlling because he was frightened he would lose everything. He did. I won't go into details, there are plenty of posts where I use my experiences to help others, but Yours is different.

Your grief is understandable, It appears fairly recent, although you don't say how long. A lovely marriage is a comfort, and you are bound to miss him desperately, but try not to wallow in grief. Queen Victoria mourned for the rest of her very long life.

Please don't do that; there is life out there for you even now, but first you have to mourn. There is no set time for grief; it is personal to you, and nobody else's business; and if anyone tells you to 'snap out of it' or something similar, you have my permission to slap them, hard! As I said, no-one else's business.

Tears are healing, don't try to stop them, memories are also around you, try to take comfort in the joys you had together, keep special memories close to you, try to remember the joys, not the pain. Grief takes it's own time, but eventually you will find purpose again and hope for the future. Don't be afraid to cry.

Treat yourself gently. If there are things you used to do a s a couple around you community, carry on doing them, The friends you had will help you to remenisce, and maybe remind you of a time you had with them which was enjoyable. If you can bear it, revisit places where you used to go. If you can't yet, it's not a big thing, there is time.

Hope this helps,

Cheers, Midori