Falling in numbness: It gets exhausting... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Falling in numbness

Tidus profile image
10 Replies

It gets exhausting having to explain yourself so many times, saying the same things. I think it might be human nature but do you ever feel the need to tell your psychiatrist or therapist, that you are doing better? When they initially ask? Somewhere in the conversation the truth comes out. Everyone asks how they can help and I never know what to say because I don’t even know how to help myself. I edited this picture because of the endless loop i find myself in and in the end what I interpret society/friends/family really want to say. In no way am I saying it’s in our heads lol Depression is real and Anxiety is real. I feel like I am constantly at war in my mind and I wake up with my teeth sensitive from the constant grinding. My body adjusts and realizes I am finally awake. Then the stress of the day floods my mind. Responsibilities, debts, work, and in defense my internal voice says sarcastically “Remember to be happy 🤗 Stay positive!” I’m tired of putting on this mask and having to explain myself. It’s just one of those days. To end this on a better note I AM hopeful. Just life likes to kick you when you are down. If life was an actual person lol I wouldn’t mind putting some gloves on and stepping in the ring with old school rules, 15 rounds. All my hobbies like writing music, playing guitar(sometimes it calms me) but it doesn’t really bring me joy.

Any suggestions in something new I could try?

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Tidus profile image
Tidus
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10 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Is the therapy starting to help yet? Bear in mind it can take quite a while.

You haven't got to keep explaining to others apart from your medical professionals. For your loved ones it's ok to say I am feeling stressed, tired, anxious right now and will let you know when I feel capable of dealing with it. Just me a bit of peace until I feel a bit better. I know that's not always possible but sometimes it is. Often family and friends don't get it so don't keep on banging your head against a brick wall. It doesn't mean they don't care it just means they don't understand. Take some of the pressure off yourself is my advice.

Bba6 profile image
Bba6 in reply to hypercat54

I really liked your post. Thank you for words of wisdom. The only thing is is that’s with family and friends the minute you tell them your stressed or tired or anxious or down today....... they won’t let it go! They start with things like... what do you have to be stressed about or how come you’re worried or why are you anxious? On and on they go! I always feel cornered and can’t get out of it no matter what i say so i avoid which is really bad too because I’m always worried what they are thinking about me and are they mad at me. They aren’t the best for me but I’m old and dependent on them so i can’t afford for them to be mad at me or they won’t help me. I do love them but if i were independent they aren’t the kind of people i would choose to be around very much. I’m scared all the time and it’s getting to where i can hardly leave the house. Thank you for your time. I honestly didn’t mean to post a book.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to Bba6

Just say it's what it is and refuse to get drawn into conversation. Once you start setting some boundaries your life will get easier.

I had this recently in my darts team. They were taking the mickey about me smoking and using all the argument against it. I was fed up of it and they wouldn't stop even when I tried humour or changing the subject. In the end I turned and said calmly 'My smoking isn't a topic of conversation'. They looked at me but shut up then :)

Tidus profile image
Tidus in reply to hypercat54

Yes I use to smoke for 10 years and I have quit for almost 2. Sometimes I look at the TV and some shows or movies they are smoking, and MAN they make it look so satisfying and I remember how I felt and I start wanting one lol. I said that to say, they really have no room to talk unless they use to smoke and even then ,they don't know your reasons. If you wanna smoke then smoke lol

Tidus profile image
Tidus in reply to Bba6

It's ok you can type however long someone is sure to reply and I read everything. At least you recognize that you are too attached, maybe one day you will be able to be more independent and it doesn't have to be a total cutoff. But yes! They continue to ask and it's like at this point, i don't even know why anymore! You are trying to normalize or disregard how I feel and I don't want to hear that!

Bba6 profile image
Bba6 in reply to Tidus

Thank you.

lovetodance2018 profile image
lovetodance2018

Thank you for sharing your story and being so honest. I understand how you feel and have been there many times. Capturing your thoughts and changing them positive is the answer, but it is easier said then done, especially when in a depressive episode. What has helped me is three things. One reminding myself that this is a disease and not who I am. That with the right medication and counseling I will feel better. Mine depression is definitely chemical and affects me more during my time of the month. Also reminding myself I will feel better.

The two other techniques are: 557 deep breathing and my gratitude journal. The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thought. I do this one to three times a sitting. The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those.

Lastly, becoming aware of yourself - getting to know the real you. This just happened recently as I went through my health & life coaching training. I learned what I say, who I am, and that I need to love myself really helped me accept who I am. I am not perfect, I have flaws, but that is OK. I am human and made in the image of God. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

I feel the same way all the time. You get sick of talking but all you want to do at times is talk because you are feeling down. Then others don't know how to help and that makes it worse. It's a harsh cycle that ends up with you feeling more alone and hurt than when you started. I think something that might help is journaling. Writing your thoughts and anxieties down when you first wake up or when you are struggling might help you identify the things that are really bothering you. As far as in the moment stuff goes, you could try 4 square breathing for the anxiety. And when you feel depressed the best thing to do is have a routine in place so that you can do things and potentially pull yourself out of the funk. Even if you can't that day it's okay so long as you work with self compassion and remind yourself that you are doing your best it will pass.

lovetodance2018 profile image
lovetodance2018

How are things going? I have been praying for you. Hugs

venusofthenorth profile image
venusofthenorth

What therapeutic methodologies have you tried so far? Cognitive behavioral therapy? Exercise? Group sessions?

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