I don’t know what I’m doing - Anxiety and Depre...

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I don’t know what I’m doing

Thelonewolf22 profile image

Life is uncertainty and I don’t know how to deal with that. Everyone gives me advice like “let go”, “breathe”, recognize that they are thoughts and laugh it out, etc. in reality I don’t know how to do that and where to start. I have panic attacks regularly and most of the time it hurts to live. I don’t know what makes me happy because I know it comes from within me, but ultimately it’s hard to find pleasure in things I do. I have a great life around me and I pressure myself not to have panic attacks because I will loose it, which makes it worse. I accept I’m at this part in my life, but simple things such as let go, breathe, and laugh it out do not help. My emotions and thoughts are way too overwhelming. I know in a level headspace I don’t know how my mind gets there, but I don’t know how to stop myself from getting there. I feel stupid and ashamed of this and I even feel like society is programmed to say that just to try to make you feel better. I don’t fall for that. I don’t know who is there for me or not. It’s not as simple as letting go for me and if letting go is so easy tell me how. Physical things of how to let go. Breathing does not help me it has to be something more. I’m looking for answers because I know if I keep going I’m going to loose everything again. A part of me just wants to end it because my idiotic ass just doesn’t get it and I want the pain to stop somehow

12 Replies

First you’re not an idiotic ass.

Second, drop all that stuff. You’re one of those people who the help is in distraction not in the focus of the cure. It’s what you do when you’re not anxious that will help you.

I have to engage other lobes of my brain in a proactive way to overcome when my brain chemicals want to go whacko.

This includes doing cerebral work and repetition. Reading holding the book to involve all senses. Walking when you’re not anxious. Yoga.

We need to play solitaire with cards in our hands for 10 minutes. All the senses involved.

This decreases the anxiety and depression overall. Good luck. Focus on the time in your day when you’re not anxious. Be conscious in it. Do something cerebral or repetitive.

Interesting I have never thought about it like that. I want to ask though how do I “drop all that stuff”? I really want to know what physical actions I can take to let go. I also want to ask even if I do distract myself from the problem it’s still there and never gets solved. So wouldn’t it be helpful to also fix the problem itself by focusing on it? I find it hard to focus on anything but my emotions most of the time. I know with ADHD the thing I hyper focus on is my emotions. I ask all of this to get clarification not to challenge

With time, by making new neural pathways in other parts of your brain, they will take the energy your brain uses and be more active. Think about the grooves in the brain. They’re all important. Some of us have to make new pathways and make them deep so our brain is focused on those things. Think of people addicted to video games. Those grooves are literally very deep. It’s repetitive and focused. Many senses are involved in making these deep pathways. Find things you can really get in to. Play sodoku or solitaire for 10 minutes twice a day for brain health. Play with play-doh or goop for 5 minutes focusing on your senses. You’re working on brain health. As you make this prominent in your brain the other things take less. You say you’re focused on your ‘H’ activities. Purposely find other sense oriented activities to do when you’re in control. An in house herb garden helped my daughter. Painting at which I suck but have spent tons of money has helped me. Now I just repaint my bathroom wall constantly. 😁.

I don’t ever take things confrontational. You’re fine. I probably should sometimes but i lack the motivation.

Take care


Thank you that helps a bit. One question do you have any recommendations for focusing on that

Do you mean not taking things personal or confrontational? I use the theory of 5s. If in 5 years I’m not going to remember this or it’s not going to change my next 5 hours I don’t pay attention to it. I ask myself out loud. Will it change my next 5 hours? Will I remember this in 5 years? No? Then it’s totally irrelevant. Moving forward.

That helps a lot but I’m sorry I’m not very clear and don’t read back what I write. I meant recommendations how to focus on distractions because my thoughts have so much weight that no distraction is powerful enough anymore

First find something you don’t do now. You won’t stick with it so don’t spend money. I painted rocks. It’s to jumpstart your brain out of the ruts. Have your cheap paint and rocks you picked up right in front of you. Have your deck of cards with you. Pick this stuff up when your hands are free. I don’t care what your head is thinking. It’s hard at first but watch your hands do something else. With time since it’s already in front of you it can start to readjust your brain. I crochet now.

Does it have to be cards or paint? I don’t find pleasure out of those things. And it’s easier for you to say I don’t care what my head is thinking

No. The point is what the brain needs. It needs repetition with as many senses as possible involved to begin the new way of thinking. I was giving examples. You are fixing and relieving at the same time. That’s brain health. I don’t want to do crunches for my gut but I don’t want to look like a 55-year-old pregnant woman so that’s what I do. Sometimes things that seem pointless or dull are done for a reason. This happens in brain health often. Good luck.

It sounds like the physical symptoms of the panic are overwhelming? Have you tried taking an emergency medication like hydroxyzine to help stop a panic attack? Yes, there is a point where "just breathing" and "letting go" is not enough, and usually, when people give advice like that, it's clear that they have no idea what anxiety is actually like. For me, though, hydroxyzine helps to calm down physical symptoms when they become overwhelming.

Funny you say that I’m actually on that, but I think my body has built up tolerance to it. I don’t want to overdose, so how much is a good amount for such extreme anxiety

My therapist says to never take more than 4 in one sitting. Interestingly, I thought I was developing a tolerance for it for a while, but my psychiatrist said that can't happen with hydroxyzine because it's non-addictive. I don't know though. Now that you say that too, I have to wonder if she really knows what she's talking about.

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