Anxiety From School

Hey everyone! Happy 2021! I hope this new year brings better memories to us all!

So yesterday was the first day I went back to school after winter break. And I went physically to school, which I haven't done since October or November. And it was okay. I wasn't really assigned anything, since it was the first day back. But the way my school is doing it, is they separated all of the kids in half to make it safer based on the COVID-19 guidelines within my county. So, there are A days and B days. I am an A day. And my best friend and my boy friend are B days. And that makes me very sad. I don't really have a lot of friends; I have like 4 or 5, and my boyfriend, and that's it. So it makes me really sad that the two closest people to me are not even going to school with me. It sucks. Really badly. They are typically the people I rely on when I have an anxiety attack or something happens that changes my mood. But now I can't even talk to them. I could text them if I chose to, but I know my boyfriend wouldn't answer because I'm not the most important thing to him, and I don't know if my best friend would answer or not. So what am I supposed to do?

Another thing that sucks is, when they're at school and I'm at home, I can't talk to them at all. At least while I'm at school, I can talk to my boyfriend for a good portion of the day, since he's just sitting in front of a computer screen. But he doesn't care enough to talk to me while he's at school. He always pretends he's too busy to talk to me. "So you're only busy when you're physically at school?" Hmm, sounds shady. I make the effort while I'm there. So why can't you? I guess I don't matter enough. Or maybe I just need to shut up.

So yeah, school kind of sucks right now. I miss when things were normal and we could all have each other. I especially miss all of the band events we would have, like football games, and pep band, and concerts. High school really isn't the same without it. But it is what it is I suppose.

Hope everyone is doing well during these uncertain times. Hopefully we can start to return to a normal state somewhat soon. Peace, love, and health to all. <3

[FriendlyDude]

Is there a way to talk to a school scheduling counselor and switch to B day? And yeah, school isn’t the same... where I’m at, we’re not even doing A and B days yet 😂 we’re still online. I totally get that it sucks to be scheduled entirely different from your friends, that was one of my first concerns when I heard about Hybrid and A + B days. However, we gotta make the best with what we’ve got

Maybe since you’re in physical school, you could make additional friends. It was hard to do that online, and people may have lost friends along the way. Someone might be needing a friend like you, perhaps being scheduled as an A day will become a blessing not only for you, but the people you can help too Just something to think about, as I told one of my friends recently, you can change someone’s entire world, in the best way

I wish you the best my friend, and I had an idea for a new post, thank you!!!

[Hidden in reply to FriendlyDude]

Thank you for the reply! And I'm glad I could give you an idea for a post!

[sophie4 in reply to Hidden]

HEY YOU!!!!!!!!!I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!MY FRIEND!!!!!Seems as though school mimics life!!!

Be free...be flowing...BE YOU!!!!!!!!!

Long chat later this week????????

May this brand new year bring you inner-peace and answers to your dreams...good health...good people...strength...happiness...

THRIVE!!!!!!!!!

sophie

[Hidden in reply to sophie4]

Thanks Sophie! Yeah, long time no see!

I'm definitely down to have a long chat later this week. Let me know when you want to!

I hope your new year is going smoothly and bringing peace to you. I am keeping you in my thoughts.

[sophie4 in reply to Hidden]

And you are in my thoughts so often!!! I'd love to have a long overdue chat with you. I'm usually at my computer in the afternoon or for several hours after midnight. What works for you? MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!

[Hidden in reply to sophie4]

I'm on my computer for most of the day, with having to do school online. So let me know whenever you would like to chat. I'm available for a good chunk of the day haha. Miss you too!!!

[uniquecorn]

Hey, I could say my ex and I were in a similar situation too. He hardly puts any effort and honestly, every relationship I've ever been in was all sick. I'm the one constantly pushing through and one day I got sick of it. My ex broke up with me the next day we went out because he thought the long-distance relationship wouldn't work but we still talked to each other like we used to but then it felt like he talked to me when he's bored and like I was always his last priority. One day he expresses how much he likes me and then he doesn't text me at all for a month. He didn't even reply to me wishing him for the new year. Right now I'm trying hard to understand the way he is and just ignore him but one single thought of him brings all the pain back especially since I'm suffering from depression. But I'm trying harder to just let go of any feelings I had for him and so far It's been the toughest time especially because of the quarantine...

[Hidden in reply to uniquecorn]

I totally get that, and I am so sorry to hear that he is doing that to you. No one should have to put up with someone like that. I actually am dealing with something sort of (but not really) similar to that right now. Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went shopping for a couple hours during the day. It was fun; he bought me a stuffed animal lol. And then when it was time to go, I started to get sad because I didn't know when I would see him next. And he told me it would be okay, and that I should look forward to FaceTiming him later that evening, because we typically do that every evening. So that's what I did. And then he of course didn't want to FaceTime. So I had looked forward to nothing. I don't understand what I did to deserve that. So instead, I spent the night crying and wondering why I wasn't worth it to him. It hurts. A lot. And I'm sure this isn't really that big of a deal, but it is to me. So I understand what it feels like to be important one minute, and be nothing the next. And I am so sorry that you are treated that way, because no one deserves to feel like that.

[uniquecorn in reply to Hidden]

I'm so sorry it happened to you. But you must understand that your mental health matters more. Yes, you might like him a lot but he should not be the reason because of which you feel that you aren't important or you're not worth to anyone. I realized a boy cannot make me sad and stop me from doing things that make me feel better. I know it's tough, you might break down multiple times in the process but you must at least try not feeling that way because of him. Talk to someone, perhaps your best friend if you can't talk about it to your boyfriend. Just try putting your happiness or sadness in your hands. You can be sad but just not because you feel you're not worth it.

[Hidden in reply to uniquecorn]

Thank you. It's not that I feel that I'm not worth it; it's that I feel like I'm not worth it to him. Like, he doesn't care enough about me. I know that I am worth it. I know that I am good enough, and that I deserve to be treated as such. But I don't think he sees all the effort I put in as enough for him. And it sucks because I am always trying to make him happy. But when will it ever be enough for him to want to return the favor to me? I wish I knew what to do to be enough for him.

[uniquecorn in reply to Hidden]

Did you try talking to him about it?

[Hidden in reply to uniquecorn]

Not yet. I haven't spoken to him today yet because he doesn't go on his phone while he's at school.