Jealousy

[Thealchemist99]

I always feel jealous of my boyfriend's friend and his girlfriend who is a doctor. I feel that i'm of no worth because i'm a business graduate while she is a doctor. And every time my boyfriend talks about his friend and his girlfriend i feel jealous and i get upset. I feel in my guts a strong fire burning wishing i was her. I feel embarrassed to go out with them. The feeling sucks and i'm tired of it.

[Hidden]

Ask yourself do you really want to be a doctor? Or just have this certain status you think a doctor has?

If we keep comparing ourselves to others, perhaps their achievements, status, money, etc. we keep ourselves from progressing.

You mention you’re not sure of your relationship with your boyfriend on another thread, I think you have a lot to think about and uncover with your current situation. In my opinion, should work on yourself first, as your boyfriend, his friends, etc seem to be obstscsls that aren’t very positive in your life. Of course this is just my observation, but taking a deeper look might be worth looking into.

[Thealchemist99 in reply to Hidden]

It's so complicated i don't know what to think or how to behave. I love my boyfriend but my jealousy is blinding me

[Hidden in reply to Thealchemist99]

Relationships are complicating. I don’t know a single person that isn’t challenged from their relationships or a single person that doesn’t go through growing pains either individually or together.

Your ‘blinding’ jealousy will be your worst enemy. I will say this, every single thing we do everyday, minute to minute are series of choices. You can continue to choose jealousy or choose to look deeper into this... such as asking yourself where is this coming from? And why? It’s there inside you, you just have to be willing to harness it and be truthful with your self.. even with the situation you’re in with your boyfriend.

[4woody in reply to Thealchemist99]

hi. can i ask a question? stop reading now if you don’t want the question...

why do you characterize your situation as complicated?

[Thealchemist99 in reply to 4woody]

Because i'm jealous of something silly and i can't be as that person( like his friend's girlfriend)

[4woody in reply to Thealchemist99]

Is jealousy complicated? You defined it succinctly in your post. You love someone. Do you feel confident in your boyfriend’s affection for you?

[Thealchemist99 in reply to 4woody]

Surely i do

[4woody in reply to Thealchemist99]

Can you use your trust in your relationship to move your thoughts from them to the two of you together?

[Thealchemist99 in reply to 4woody]

How do i do that?

[4woody in reply to Thealchemist99]

It takes practice... worth the effort I think.

When it is just you and your boyfriend think about how the two of you are together. Notice the feelings you experience in your body. Like how you relax together or watch tv together or eat together. Whatever you do together. Work at noticing how your body feels. With practice you create ways to help yourself feel that instead of jealousy. Part of the reason it helps is by changing your focus. You may come up with other ways of moving your focus away from them and onto your relationship with your boyfriend.

[Afrohair]

What’s wrong with being a business graduate you should be proud !reach for the sky girl!theres loads of things you can do with that degree just put your mind to it!ask yourself why are you jealous ?surley it’s not her job there must be more to it!are you having issues with self confidence?it appears so!what else is making you jealous use that to change yourself and make yourself better x

[Thealchemist99 in reply to Afrohair]

Yes i lack self confidence. I always feel less than other girls, less successful, less beautiful, less in personality.

[fauxartist]

We make our own mark in life, and take pride in our work and how well we do it. Whether your the janitor of a building, or the CEO of a major corp., we should all do the best at what we are able to do. Most people in business make far more money than most doctors do these days anyways.

[Thealchemist99 in reply to fauxartist]

You are right absolutely!! But i lack self confidence i'm never satisfied with myself

[fauxartist in reply to Thealchemist99]

Being a perfectionist isn't always a bad thing....it's knowing when to say you did a good enough job and I am okay with what I have done.

[kenster1]

hi I am a virtual nothing jealous of no one I would rather be me than dress myself up as something I wasn't I bet lots of people would like a job like yours as well.

[Ollyvie]

Hello dear, I can understand how you are feeling. You can desire to be someone else, but you should appreciate your uniqueness and how far you have accomplished for yourself. Your value and worth is not measured by your career choice. Am sure your boy friend had other friends who are doctors but yet still he choose you. He wanted you as a person not your career. He choose business graduate person because that what he needs in his live. Go out the in confidence and with your shoulders high knowing you are unique in your own way.

Recently I just discovered something, so I wrote this to myself. I read it every now and then to myself.

The world around makes me feel like should be a Go-Getter and that am too slow.

It felt like am inadequate. Was struggling to meet the standards of the world around me and the expectations of people. But when I discovered me. I realize that am slow but sure kind of person. Like snail or tortoise, I get to my destination anyway with focus and determination. People may mistake me to be lazy and unambiguous, but I stay focus and do what you can do best. My success may not be what the world defines as success but am fulfilled and happy. I have always worked hard and have excel in my work or task. Find what you do best and do it with all that you have.

I have been looked down on sometimes because of what I don’t have and cannot do by virtue somethings beyond my control. But now I careless. I celebrate me, who I am and how far I have come. I am me and that is enough for me.