So ever since I went on Paxil I gained then Remeron I gained a lot of weight. For a while I didn’t much care because I was happy anyway. Well now I really care, and I’m depressed. I still run and I eat plant based mostly but still gaining more and more so I’m going off Remeron and staying on a Paxil and see what happens. I am crying finally since this whole battle striving to be happy with myself. I’m getting so much better at being nice to myself buuuut Now I am backing away from my mean sister and I don’t have all that many friends around me right now. You all are my friends though, come over!!! 😉
I want to make a collage to work through something but now I’ve lost my leather sketchbook that I’ve had so many of my writings and art in I’m double sad today. It’s not the material loss it’s the heart I put into it plus my weight is sucking because I can’t do as much as I used to be able to do believe me I’m trying. This day could be worse. Now that I’ve gotten junk out I’ll chill. Thanks for listening
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Starrlight
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I love spring and summer....fortunately where I live has a big garden to look after .....nature is my peaceful place...I’ve got 3 more nest boxes to put up 😀🐣....love seeing the baby birds in spring time
That’s awesome. I love summer. We have doves come each spring/summer in the same tree making the tiniest nest each time. I love gardening too. Each year I do it a little different. Usually at least done herbs
Remeron does that. I was put on it because it forces you to eat and eat... I gained a huge amount of weight on it. The psychiatrist wasn't concerned, the therapist wasn't concerned. That's how it goes. I didn't like it.
I don't know if Remeron makes you gain more weight than Paxil does, but Google had this:
"Yes, Paxil can cause weight gain, as can other SSRI antidepressant medications. In its class, Paxil causes the most weight gain, perhaps because it can be sedating, which tends to limit physical activity."
You probably know changing meds will knock you around mentally and emotionally while you adjust. Maybe that helps?
Reaching out here can bring you a lot of different people, different kinds of support.
Backing away from the hurt your sister gives you is your choice. Back away, reach out... Do what serves you and what you are proud of.
That picture is stunning. You really captured a beautiful moment in nature.
Stepping away from people that don't treat you well is such a positive move. I understand it doesn't feel right. I've had to do it. If boundaries don't work we have to save ourselves with separation.
I hope you find your journal. I hope it shows up somewhere.
(((((((((((Dolphin)))))))))) ❤️ thanks it’s just about my favorite thing to do, taking pictures. What’s your fav thing to do? Yeah I’m trying to set boundaries I guess i mean I’m avoiding her and if I have to see her I will not let her intimidate me. And it’s her fault I want away from her.
I do t know if I would completely separate myself from her because I love my nieces.
Thanks my friend
The color is amazing. I just got through walking in the woods, I take pics but they are boring compared to this. 😂
I’ve decided to hike this mountain I live on in an effort to add more activity, some of my pounds need to go too. 😥
I’d say we are your friends for life. I think you’re stuck with us. 🌺💜🌺💜
Awww 🥰 thanks I’m glad I’m stuck 😉I just keep trying to pick myself up and I just keep slipping more and deeper into depression.
I wish I was hiking a mountain with you. What mountain? I hiked The Appalachians in Pennsylvania with some friends and family a few years back. I miss days like that. I have zero motivation today.
I live just outside where a meteorite caused an enormous crater at the center of this mountain I live on. The crater is approx 4 miles long. For privacy reasons I won’t disclose public my location.
I take pictures of the fossils that are still here. Pretty amazing stuff.
One of my main issues is with procrastination. I have made a pact with myself I will not do this, it takes me 3 weeks to start seeing weight changes so I have to just put the gear on and get it done. I still run too and lift a few dumbbells three days a week. 😂😂 We can do this. 🤗🌺💜
But your so motivated in wanting to help others....turn some of that motivation back to you.
And be very careful, your coming off the Remeron, don’t over extend yourself by putting others too far ahead of your own self care.
The jury is out if I can do this, but I’ll give it my best effort. I’m not depressed any more, but I have severe issues with sleep complicated by post menopause comorbidity...it brings on situational depression, I’m known to have an explosive outburst of frustration hating what menopause is doing to me at least once a week, so I have to accept there’s going be days all isn’t going to mesh right and my procrastination, lack of energy, sleep deprivation, being anxious, what ever it might be can take me down pretty fast. One hour at time is what I have to do most days. Have a great night. 🌺💜🌺💜🌺
That’s a great idea , go it one hour at a time... and let’s check in with ourselves and see what we need. Sometimes though it’s hard to even know what it is. Well you sound great, keep up the good work
The first medicine I tried, when doctors weren't sure if I had a depressive disorder or bipolar disorder, was Paxil. But we found it made me hypomanic. Still, it was nice not to be depressed anymore.
Now I take Lamictal (lamotrigine) for mood stability, but it also ramps me up a bit, so I take Geodon (ziprasidone) to keep me grounded. The side effects of the Geodon were pretty crappy for a few years, but I don't notice any side effect now. And Geodon (an atypical antipsychotic) doesn't cause weight gain. In fact, I lost weight.
Oh interesting that Paxil made you hypomsnic; I think all antidepressants have that possibility with us bipolar ones. I welcome hypomania... I’ve been so depressed most of my life that I’ll take it you know?Never heard of Geodon. I take Zyprexa as my antipsychotic and it also makes me gain.
I want to go off of everything right now in a way because I’m just so angry but I think I have to be logical.
I went off almost everything two years ago, quit a job I was happy at, got fired from the next job, lost a friend, and was probably a shitty husband and father (we're too involved to make that judgment ourselves.) I'm not going to do that again, it's taken me two years to piece my life back together.
I am having suicidal ideation big time. I know I can’t and won’t since I love and respect my kids and others to go and do it but I’m suffering suddenly what the hell is going on? It’s not just a bad day.
New drugs can make you preoccupied with killing yourself or death. When I started the Geodon I couldn't think of anything except terrorists killing me. Illogical as it seemed, it was still all I could think of.
Thanks for asking. I'm stable, exercising again, digging myself out of a hole a dug at this job before I got back on my full dose of medicine. But you know, I was watching Kanye West talking to David Letterman about bipolar disorder, and he's living without medicine. It allows him to be more creative. That's true for me too, I'm sure. But I have obligations and loves that I want to nurture that require more stability than when I'm high all the time. My inhibitions are lowered and I start being risky. That's not what a daughter needs. But I've been thinking about maybe switching to an antidepressant when my daughter gets out of the house and living that way for a while. It was really fun the last time I did it -- I started a community organization, helped a candidate run for office, and got into an impressive college when I was super-optimistic all the time. Life is much more mundane now.
I hear ya. It’s all pretty confusing to me. Right now I don’t know what to do, what yo focus on. My motivation is gone. I don’t feel like pushing anymore.
Based on your earlier posts, it sounds like feeling unmotivated is a temporary thing for you. Not that you don't have to deal with it, of course, but it will eventually be overcome. Have hope!
Sorry to hear this Starr. I presume you've looked everywhere for your sketchbook? You can always get another one but I understand that it's the time and creativity you put in that makes it so horrible. Most antidepressants are weight gainers. I try and get out for an exercise walk everyday but I'm still overweight. Remember your mental health is actually more important than gaining a few more points right now. My thoughts are with you.
I found the book. It was in a family member’s car I’d taken a bag with me in a road trip and it fell out there. Same here, some days I run or walk but not every day.
You not alone friend have zero motivation today too my dad wants me to take him to the store and don’t want to do anything at all I hate depression and anxiety for ruining my days I should be happy with my parents but this depression and anxiety just makes me not want to do anything so that just makes me feel so helpless and
I gained almost 40 lbs in a short time when I got on meds. I wish I could quit them cold turkey but I almost lost it last time I tried. Fucking meds suck. They suck you in and you can’t quit.
They’re just doctors versions of speed or downers.
You’re tired? Here’s synthetic meth.
You’re hyper? Here’s legal downers.
Good luck champ!
See you in a month don’t do anything stupid till then? Don’t worry I have a backup downer when you get used to that one!
❤️ ha you made me laugh but then I think oh shoot that’s really true and not too funny then ... anyway I’ve quit eating and so that I don’t get too unhealthy I’ll eat something every 16-20 hrs. Sigh I’m so ✅ doooone. I’m miserable but even now it could be much worse I’ve been much worse
I’m actually not sure. I want to die. I’m not sure I’ll get out of the problems because as I try my best they are not fixed. I could live with them but I’d rather not.
Zoloft worked quite awhile for me. I'm on Cymbalta now. Not sure if it should be tweaked some more or not. Hang in there. Your a great lady and i appreciate your comments. The picture you have of the trees is fantastic. Its moving my heart and mind and rekindling my photography eye and heart more. Thanks
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i think I’m lost 
Issues with focusing, concentrating, Indecisiveness, procrastination, lack of motivation, weight loss, insomnia, etc. PLS HELP...Need a Job
I’m back... 
I’m so lost. 
I lost my friend
