I hate that I get annoyed so easily and for seemingly no reason at times. I don't mean to get annoyed I just find that I am annoyed and do not know how to stop. I hate that when I need help and need people all I find I know how to do is push them away. Once again I do not want to I just do and don't know how to stop. I have tried to tell my mom what's wrong but she just tells me I am allowing this or that I am training my brain, and sure maybe I am but how can I be training it if that's all I know and I do not want to be this way? If I wanted to stop wouldn't I train it to go the other way. I hate that sometimes I get mad and start a fight for no reason. Why do I have to be such a freaking pessimist all the time. I just state reality and people tell me to look at things half full. Currently, my favorite quote is; if everyone saw the glass half full there would not be any milk left (I am not sure if I got that exactly). I hate so many things about me at times and I try to change and fix those things but they never seem to go away.
Sorry if this is confusing I was typing whatever came to my mind but at least I feel a little bit better I guess.
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I was the same way as a teen. I didn't realize how much my hormones were making me crazy. Seriously. At one point, my mom and I fought so much, my dad walked out the door. He was all kinds of pissed. Said he would be back when we learned how to get along. (He just spent the night away and came back). It's hard when people don't understand you aren't TRYING to be bitchy, it just comes out. I wish I had the right words for you. I hated being a teenager and your post really reminds me of how unhappy I was back then. I wouldn't go back to that age for all the money in the world. I can say that in my early 20s I told my OB/gyn that I was a complete "C U Next Tuesday" the week before my cycle. I was given pills and my husband at the time was like "I wish you would have mentioned this to your doctor years ago." What I can say, and I know it's hard to believe, but things get better. My mom told me the same thing, but when you are a teenager, it's hard to believe your parents, but they actually do know stuff.
yaasss hate periods and all that comes with them. I hate that I fight with my mom but sometimes I try to speak up about my feelings and other things and it ends up as a fight. I feel like I should go talk to a doctor or a therapist but if I did someone would have gotten me someone right I mean my mom knows about my problems she even saw the scar from when I scratched myself but she has not brought me in for any of it. I understand that moms know stuff but it does not make sense what she says and sometimes she makes me feel worse about things that I go to her for help for. How is that true then, it does not make sense.
I'm sorry your mom isn't helpful. That sucks. My mom is my best friend (and I almost fought a therapist once that tried to tell me she might be too much friend and not enough mom). Is it possible to seek therapy without your a parent? It's been a long time since I was a teenager, but I believe there are places that can help. I know therapy has always been so helpful to me. I first went when I was 12 (of course, I told my mom when I was 10 I wanted to die, so I was already pretty messed up). I promise you, this is true: Things will get better.
Yes i can relate . What I learned a long time ago was to walk away until i cooled off . Id go outside to a private area and talk to myself out loud ... mostly praying out loud to god .
It would go something like this “I am feeling so angry right now so weird , crazy irritated And I don’t like feeling this way !!! Please help me to choose NOT to react to this irrational feeling “ Help me to
Keep things in perspective. No ones dying , sick with disease . Changing your perception helps keep things in perspective.
Take it for what it is it’s either hormones , lack of sleep or exercise, poor eating , Or possibly anxiety or depression.
If it begins to Interfere with your daily life life talk to somebody older whose been thru it.
And of course Breathe.
Breath in slowly while counting to six hold for two seconds and blow out for six . slowly. ( Purse your lips like you’re blowing out Through a straw)Always breathe in through your nose.
This will help increase your serotonin the feel good hormones and help you to relax
In Addition to this getting up and exercising and spending some time meditating Is a great idea. Sounds like your body is very sensitive so you need to take good care of yourself..by eating well sleeping enough hours and exercising.
This works for me 95% of the time
Actually with me with your quote about the milk is true with me. I hate warm milk so I would drink it before it gets warm.Have you had a sit down with your parents and tell them what is going on? Sometimes it helps to do that. Maybe even suggest you may need some help in some shape or form. Communication is the key for you and your folks.
I have sorta but every time she makes me feel like it's my fault and I am overexaggerating or something so no I have never gone full out and doubt I ever will. I will just get help on my own when I am able to. Besides what if she thinks I do not need it or she can't afford it. I do not wanna be a problem for the family and It's awkward if people find out about my issues. I do not mind sharing about my anxiety and other things because they seem so simple compared to my depression and for some reason is not as embarrassing to me.
Yes you are prob right. I've been in that situation and got the raw end of the deal. I was hoping maybe your family was different than mine was. Hey I'm here if you want to talk and if I'm not sure about the situation i'd tell you.
I understand. Getting angry for little or no apparent reason, even with yourself, and low self esteem are atypical symptoms of depression. Try not to worry too much about this and there is nothing wrong with you. I would recommend trying some mindfulness practice and/or meditation if you can. There are plenty of groups on zoom currently for this, as well as books/audiobooks that might help.
Awwh! It happens. It hurts people sometimes if you balatantly speak the truth. It's okay. You can sense people around and can modify the words so that it do not hurt them and you convey the truth. This is how it works. Atleast for me!
Oh dear teen! Make a cupcake on a new year and start again better.
In Addition to this getting up and exercising and spending some time meditating Is a great idea. Sounds like your body is very sensitive so you need to take good care of yourself..by eating well sleeping enough hours and exercising.
I too have a hard time asking for help when I need it, but what helps for me is to focus on what I truly want. It’s easier to ask for help when I realize that I’m sick of feeling so bad, and I just want to feel good again. Sometimes it’s the content of how I initially ask for help that makes it hard. I think a lot, so sometimes I try to give context and explain my situation in a way that they can understand and know what’s going on, but that can be a lot to take in all at once when they’re not expecting it 😬 and they may not feel up to that. I find that when they give their consent, it’s much easier to feel comfortable sharing what’s going on, because they agreed to it, I’m not just putting it on them.
So, I’ve found that it’s a lot easier to say “Hey, do you have some time? ” or “Hey, I need to talk to someone, can I talk to you for a bit?” Or “Hey, I could use some help, are you willing to listen/talk for a while?” Something that allows them to tell you if they’re in a good enough place to effectively support you, and also points the conversation in a direction that can allow you to talk and get support.
As for the whole, “glass half full” and such, perhaps thinking about it in a different way will help. While it is important to look for the good, it’s also important to acknowledge the bad, but it all needs to be the truth. Glass half full doesn’t mean that life is good no matter what and the bad is irrelevant. That glass is half full, so what’s the other half? Empty. There’s balance. So I’d tell you this: acknowledge the “half empty” portion, according to the truth, and then put a truthful positive twist on it, and acknowledge the good.
“Yes, life is hard because of ___, ____, ___ and ___, BUT it’s not forever, and I will get through this. There are people who love and care for me and are willing to help if I need it. I’m not alone, I just need to do my best.”
If you don’t acknowledge the good, the glass is ‘entirely’ empty, but there is always good, so it can’t be 100% empty. If you don’t acknowledge the bad, the glass is ‘full’ of good, but I don’t know if that’s entirely possible in this life. Really there are probably just unacknowledged parts of what’s going on. If you have a bucket of apples, and half are rotten and moldy, you can’t just place new apples on top, say it’s bucket (glass) full and expect it to be okay, the mold and rot will spread and fill the rest of the bucket. But even then, there are trees around to provide more good apples
Life isn’t meant to be easy, we all have our challenges, and some last a lifetime. It’s what we do with it that matters. Even if there’s always a moldy rotten apple in the bucket of life, you can stick that apple in a toxic waste bag 😂 and/or frequently clean and wash the good apples to prevent the mold from spreading. Even if you can’t completely eliminate a problem, you can try your best to contain it and stop it from ruining the good in your life.
Family can be tough, I understand that. If your mom’s methods of ‘helping’ don’t work for you, and in reality, actually hurt you, you can always look to other sources: Friends, other family/relatives, trusted adults, etc.
age helps.......everything from parents hurst. ...........vs coaches..........then i now tell myhself .......dont take it personallyh dont get defensive..........as that undermines me in front of parent..........be coaschable.............thanks then go do what uou want..........tell myself dont get deesneive or take it personally..................you can remind me too any time ..........hope that helps if not.........sorry.................
I have anger issues too. It seems like I must always be in conflict with someone. It has been long enough that I feel I must figure out why. I like my coworkers so I do not want to jeopardize that relationship. My father past this year which I thought would help as cruel as that sounds. But it hasn’t. So I enlisted a therapist specially for that purpose. We shall see how it goes.
Hi Teen - I can sympathize with your situation, but it's been a long time for me since i've been your age. Ultimately, the best advice i can possibly give is that your parents have your back, no matter how upset or annoyed you are with them in the short term, just dont forget that. they love you and will be your support system through all of it. I lost my father to cancer before i realized how much he was there for me, and i wish it didnt go down that way. You'll figure this out through therapy and support, which i'm hopeful you can find here. Anyways, not sure if i was helpful, but good luck!
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