New Year's Eve Bummer

Hey y'all. Here to complain about yet another unfortunate happening in my life. As I'm sure most of you are aware, New Year's Eve is upon us. And me being the optimistic child that I am, I thought that my mother would be caring enough to let me spend it with my boyfriend's family. And of course, I got my hopes up, and began daydreaming about how great it would be. I pictured he and I counting down to midnight, and then kissing at the stroke of the new year, and that seemed so great. All until I actually asked my mother for permission to go about doing this. And she being the difficult person that she is, the answer was no, as per usual. I don't know what I was expecting. At least 90% of the things I ask her for are given the answer of no. But I thought that just this once, she would find it in her heart to let me have this. But of course not. Who am I to expect anything from her? Only the absolute minimum is what she's capable of giving. I bet if this were my brother asking, the answer would've been yes. He gets anything he wants whenever he wants it. I'm just not deserving enough to be given the trust I seek. I doubt she'll ever trust me. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her. I wish she didn't have to ruin everything I was hoping for yet again. It seems like anything I get my hopes up for always gets ruined somehow. Maybe I'm just destined to always be depressed and full of struggles. I guess it doesn't matter though, since no one seems to care about my feelings. I'm just another pushover who's emotions have zero value. But who am I to expect any more, right?

[Sprinkle1]

You sound young, so will have your dreams, sorry your Mother is not responsive.But once you get to 18 if you have a job, you can move out, then you won't have to ask anyone. Do you best to enjoy New Year any way. I am 78 so I will probably be in bed!!! Sending Love n hugs......

[Hidden in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thanks Sprinkle1. I am indeed young (17 to be exact). I honestly can't blame you for staying bed throughout the festivities. I guess I'm just tired of feeling like I'm on a leash. I thought what I was requesting wasn't anything unreasonable, but I must've been wrong to a certain extent. Another thing that angered me was the fact that my boyfriend got mad at me for not telling him immediately, because I really didn't want to let him down. He got mad and told me that I wasn't sorry after apologizing several times. I had tried my best, truly, but it somehow still feels like it's not enough. I don't know if I'll ever be enough...for anyone.

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Hidden]

Yes 17 is not an easy age, how old is your boyfriend, sounds like he needs to learn some lessons. Maybe he is not the right one for you. Do not exhaust yourself apologizing, you need love and respect. Try some of the suggestions written here, find a way to please yourself, there will be a lot of New Years in your life, needless to say I have had my share, had fun and partied, now I won't go out because of Covid-19, I'll watch a good movie, or read one of my books, I have 2 going at this time. And remember There is Nothing Wrong with You, you a special person, there are many lessons to learn in life, if you are a reader, try a book I love it helped me So much, it is by Dr. Scott Peck "The Road Less Traveled", it was in the top 10 best seller list for 7 years, Amazon or any quality outlet should have it used/new, I still use lessons today that I learnt reading that book. Go on line and see who has it. I wish you well, sending love, hugs and peace, followed by a much better 2021, good health and stay safe....

[Hidden in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thanks Sprinkle1! To answer your question, he is 17. We are both the same age. I think it just sucks to get your hopes let down. But instead, I'm choosing to please myself by calling off work and using that time to care for myself. I have no interest in dealing with the weirdos that will be shopping during the later hours I'm sure.

I hope that 2021 is a way better year for everyone. Peace, love, and health to you.

[Hidden]

Well, with this stupid pandemic going on, it's possible you could kiss him and catch coronavirus unfortunately. Maybe you can dream up some creative way to be together on New Year's Eve. Like if both of your computers have cameras, switch both of them on and play some music you both like to dance to and in a strange way, you'll be dancing with each other. Or maybe have some kind of Zoom party with him and 4 or 5 other friends. And at midnight, just blow him a flirtatious kiss. I know it isn't the same as the real party, but it is New Year's Eve, and those of us still alive should just be grateful we survived 2020!!!! Party on!!!!😊

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Hidden]

I like your response, hopefully it will help Sunkissed, for you I wish you a Happy New Year, with good health and a better year for all in 2021, sending Love n Hugs.......also Peace.....

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Haha thanks! I remembered a little while ago that I have a friend who's birthday is actually on New Year's Eve, so I'm definitely going to be throwing him a little virtual party to that. And yeah, I am definitely grateful that I survived 2020. I know too many people who didn't... They are in my thoughts and prayers, as you are too.