This New Year's Eve is Weird!!!

[Cat_cat44]

I plan to have a party somehow for 2024 going into 2025 because this one SUCKS A**!! Ok, so I am alive and breathing, I have a roof over my head and food to eat so by goodness I am thankful 🙏🏽🙏🏽, buttt.... because I'm in a trauma filled situation mentally and financially, this day ain't it!! I remember feeling better than this, spending time with my family, etc., on this day. But today is sucking A**!! My apologies if this gets anyone down but I can't keep this to myself. It's like I'm not super depressed (thanks to my meds), but this one just ain't it. And my poor teenage daughter is getting the brunt of it because since Mommy didn't have her sh** together this year my daughter has to suffer. Well no more!! Whatever Job I start this year I gotta stick to NO MATTER WHAT, or I will have this same result next year!! Uh Borderline personality disorder plus bad decisions will wreck havoc on your life!! Please learn from me on what NOT to do!! Thanks, y'all been great🎤 lol

[Craigliving4Jane]

love the resolve. Stick with it!! If by some small chance you happen to minorly slip up ,make the next day the start of your new year goals. January 1st is just an arbitrary date. Your change is every single day.

You have challenges I can’t even imagine but your determination jumps off the screen !!!

Much love

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Craigliving4Jane]

Thanks Craigliving4Jane. Yes I cannot compare any other year with this date because I have different challenges now. I am trying to stay focus on getting a job. Then on this same day, here my daughter presents another issue. She's having a hard time keeping up the pace at school. I co parent and her Dad gave her advice, hopefully it works bc I can't take no more problems. I already have no support from family because they don't respect my choices because of my mental illnesses.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

I can relate to a degree. Christmas for me was well. It wasn't great. A week prior to Christmas my car was stolen and recovered. But the thieves erected so the insurance considers it a total loss. It was the first car ever owned. First car that I actually got with my own money. It didn't have it for 10 years. Also to make things difficult my sister JG pop back up. We have been had a good relationship in almost 4 years. She is now staying with our mother. There was a dog that I wanted. A stray dog. But a neighbor decided to take it in before me. I had some things still to work on the house before my house was able to handle a dog. Unfortunately her yard was not very capable of handling a dog and she didn't do right by it. The dog is pregnant. And I couldn't bear seeing it in the street again. She said she was tired and too old to be chasing a little pregnant dog. So I took it in. But after things that happen with my car, I find myself in no position financially to take care of this dog So Christmas was very different from how I saw things back in October.

And like you I have a roof over my head and access to food. And I am grateful for all those things. Doesn't mean I'm not allowed to vent. We all need a vent a little sometimes.

I have been working my butt off trying to find a foster or a non-kill shelter for this little dog. Unfortunately my efforts have been unsuccessful. I had to call the city shelter which is a kill shelter to claim this dog. But it's going to take them one to three weeks to do it. I know she is very pregnant. So she might have her puppies in January. I'm trying still to find another place that will take her. I have been bugging the animal defense league about it. They tell me to check back every week. That may be a spot will open up and I could get an appointment and she can be taken it. In fact, I'm going to do it again for the Humane Society.

I'm also very nervous about making a drive tomorrow. I have to get a replacement title for my car because I have no idea where the original one is. Unless the lost it during the move. However, I have to get it from the regional office which is about 22 miles away. I have anxiety. Which anybody here can tell you I've been working really hard on trying to get back to my sense of normal. I'm hoping with 2024 things will be different. And no more hard lessons need to be learned.

Wishing you peace and love ❤️🫂

[Cat_cat44 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Hi CL3V3R-G1RL, thanks for responding. Im sorry what happened to your car and doggie. I know the total loss sucked, same happened to me in 2007, worst part is since I wasn't driving I wasn't able to replace 😞. Im glad you weren't hurt physically and was able to get another car. I know anxiety is tough, me and my daughter has it. You got this!! I hope you have some coping strategies to get you through. And I hope you find a place to take you doggie. I wish you much success!!

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Cat_cat44]

Well I'm glad we had full coverage and were able to get a rental. Now we just need to wait on an offer and then go car shopping.

I will keep bugging non kill shelters until I find someone to take in this lovely dog.

Thank you for your warm wishes 🫂❤️

I wish you much success in your goals and your family! I believe in you 💓