I Can't leave My Apartment ever and if I absolutely have to it takes me two and a half hours to get myself calm enough to make My feet move

[Kzink]

I have a problem I don't know how to fix I am terrified to go outside , this is not due to the current virus I've had this problem most of my life I am so afraid to go outside and it makes me so mad My family and friends Wonder what is wrong with me why I never want to go anywhere with them I don't know what to tell them . And my anxiety attack's are tormenting all day and I worry about everything . When I mentioned friends I have one my niece that's it mainly because I don't trust anyone in my life I have been treated awful in just about every relationship I've been in which makes me believe it's me, I don't know if anyone else has any of these same problems but I just want some kind of advice I feel so lost in the world

[Sydleigh44]

I was having the same problems except I would have physical repercussions to going out anywhere as well (diarrhea). Having that fear and hiding inside made it so much worse. The only thing that worked for me was finally taking the leap and getting on medication. My life has improved tremendously and while I still struggle I don’t feel like a complete prisoner.

[Kzink in reply to Sydleigh44]

Thank you so much for talking to me, I have been on medication for years but My doctor told me there aren't any medications on the market today for My kind of depression although I am taking several I agree with you that I need to make the move and just do it but I don't know if it is worth it after what I go through to get to the point where I can go out in the past when I would get upset at myself for being this way and I just opened the door and started walking I found myself in a way I can only explain it is I didn't know where I was or how to get home or if I were in a grocery store I had no idea what I came for and I couldn't find My way out so I just stood there crying looking all over while people just stared at me and I finally found the door and left I'd then sit on the curb and try to figure out how to get home .

[Sydleigh44 in reply to Kzink]

I would suggest your first step is to find a new doctor and get on the right medications. I find it hard to believe that there is nothing out there for you. That doctor just has run out of options so it’s time to move on. I started off with medication management (I can elaborate if you’d like). I think with the right medication and therapy, there is 100% hope for you to get you back to where you want to be....living your life! I have come along way and it has not been easy, I still struggle every single day but I am doing it! It’s not going to be easy but you can do it. It can be hard when a doctor says there is nothing they can do and I’m sure you’re exhausted of telling your story, trying medications etc. all for nothing to work. I am proof that it can get better, but it’s just going to take time and trial and error. Once you find the right combination of medication and reduce some of your depression and anxiety you can then work with a therapist to get to the root of the other problems your facing.