It's been a few days since my boyfriend left me and I'm trying so so hard to hold on but I can't. He left me because my depression and anxiety was to much for him and I was and still am suicidal. I have no friends, no family, my dads been an alcoholic ever since my mom passed away. I hate myself, my body, my life, and now it's hard to even do anything because I just break down crying so much because I miss my ex so so much. I don't know what to do, I've been working out and trying to work but I end up crying at the gym and when I'm working, I was going to kill myself the day my boyfriend left me, but something in my head just told me to hold on , but now I'm just thinking maybe it's better to just leave this life it's not like I have anyone that would miss me and my ex would probably be happy if I did so.i need some insight or something some kind of help, I've gone through so much hell and still am after years and years and my boyfriend leaving me is just setting me to that end point. I have so much anger, anxiety, I'm just a mess and always have been.i wanted my kids and life with my ex and now that was torn away from me as well as my mom and my family and my dad. I was also abused years ago physically, bullied at school my whole life and still now, my dad had tried killing himself as well five times two years ago and he has ptsd, people left me for dead and I just can't take the trauma anymore. This website is really helpful though and supportive.