Made a fool of myself

[Expo123]

I have always had very bad driving anxiety but I had not choice but to start driving regularly a few years ago when my sister passed away and my mom needed help to get around, buy groceries, etc. I have learned to deal with the anxiety but I avoid highways and I take the routes I'm familiar with even if there are shorter ways to go. I've always been very embarrassed about this and the only saving grace is that I almost always drive alone. It makes it worse when people are in the car with me because I don't want anyone to see how messed up I am. Anyway, I was meeting a good friend for coffee today. We always meet each other at the coffee shop but she didn't have her car today and asked me to pick her up. It's really ridiculous because she is not that far away from me but I have a particular route I take and that's what I'm used to. Anyway, when she got in the car she pointed me in a different direction to what I'm used to taking. Long story short, I got so flustered and it went downhill from there and I looked like an incompetent fool. My friend is incredibly sweet and didn't say anything but I am so embarrassed about it and can only imagine what she told her husband (who I also know) when I got back home. I know this isn't a big problem in the scheme of life, but I feel sick to my stomach about looking so foolish and for being "found out". It's horrible to be so anxiety-riddled and get as upset as I am about something that shouldn't be a big deal. Just wondering if anyone here can relate to this kind of driving anxiety and if there is a way you've learned to deal with it.

[Roxylox]

I was a lste starter too. I don't deviate from my usual routes. I count myself lucky to be driving at all

[Thankfulforhelp22]

I feel a lot more relaxed driving by myself than I do with others in the car. Most of the time when on vacation in unfamiliar places and roads I let my wife do the driving, she understands me . I still feel bad that I haven't overcome this anxiety.

I'm sure what you are feeling is not uncommon. There should be no shame. Try to have compassion for yourself. You have an illness which causes this feeling. Those of us with anxiety have a hard time keeping in mind that anxiety is an illness or disability just the same as if you had a physical one. You would not harshly criticize a man on crutches for walking slowly. It's just that folks can't see our anxiety.

Peace and healing to you.

[Expo123 in reply to Thankfulforhelp22]

Thank you for your response. It makes a lot of sense and I will try my best to put it into practice.

[Expo123]

Thank you so much for your reply Twinklystar. I really appreciate you taking the time to write when you're feeling tired.

[Expo123]

I'm glad you have a friend who is umderstanding about it and doesn't make you feel embarrassed. That makes a big difference.

[bonkers65]

I'm sure your friend will understand.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

I didn't get my license until I was 24. I have driving anxiety. I hate making mistakes. I fear wrecking out because I made a mistake. I try to remind myself that if I miss a turn, it's okay. Don't panic. Just follow the GPS and you'll be turned around. However I understand your embarrassment. I felt that way too. It's okay. 🫂❤️

[Expo123 in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Thanks for your support. It always helps to know there are people out there who understand and can relate to what I'm feeling.

[Sadbuthopeful]

I have leaving my own home Anxiety.

And social anxiety pretty bad. There are many times when my husband went alone to weddings, parties, some of my kids school functions, because I’m not able to pull it together in order to attend. Which then I feel like a real heal. I wish I had some helpful tips, but I’m struggling to keep my own head a float, but I’m hoping some day I can struggle a little less. Hang in there

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Sadbuthopeful]

Take some quiet time to think about it. Ask yourself what could be the worst scenario if you attended a function, and do it for every situation you can imagine. Often, it can be something you can have a laugh at. Tell the voices in your head that say you're bound to do something wrong to ****** off. Fill in the spaces with your own word. Take a day when it's a low level anxiety situation and celebrate your struggling a little less. That will be your "some day".

[Expo123 in reply to Sadbuthopeful]

I relate to that anxiety. One thing that helps is to tell myself I will only stay for a pre-determined amount of time. Usually when I'm at the event, it will be okay and I can go beyond that. By putting a limit on the time though, it is easier for me to go and still consider it a success, even if I only stay an hour. I set a low bar so my chance of succeeding is better. Hope that helps.

[MaggieSylvie]

I have always been fine driving but recently my partner has started to sigh and swear while I am taking him to different places. I am fine on my own. I put on my satnav and if I get lost I can usually get found again. I don't get anxious about it if I have given myself enough time to get lost or held up some other way, but anxiety is always lurking in the shadows whenever my partner gets in the car.

[Expo123 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

How do you react to the sighing and swearing? That would be so hard for me to deal with.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Expo123]

I am getting inured to it. If it happens late at night it disrupts my sleep. That is not good. The other thing is having to repeat myself so many times. Once a conversation (rare thing) is started, the deafness isn't there.

[MaggieSylvie]

You are imagining the worst. Your friend probably didn't give it much thought. You're the driver, so it's up to you which way you go and in what manner. Your friend probably didn't have a clue how flustered you were, and probably didn't even mention it to her husband. It's not that important, is it? If someone refused to go the way I indicated, I wouldn't give it much thought, personally.

[Rituals]

Hi Expo123, I can relate to being embarrassed that's being brought on by anxiety. E.g - social anxiety for me at work at the moment. Just think of it that your friend needed a lift & she got one so she may not be bothered about the drama you had. It doesn't make you feel good but you know you are capable of driving on your own & that's all it matters. Could you get yourself to drive out a bit more to get your confidence up? I use to get lost all the time & once with a friend in the car, I just laughed it off and so did they.

[Expo123 in reply to Rituals]

Thanks for your reply Weelon. You make so much sense. My anxiety causes me to fixate and ruminate on things long after they happen and I like the way you simplified it by saying she needed a lift and she got a lift. I keep wanting to drive around a bit more on my own so I appreciate that suggestion. I always end up feeling afraid and not doing it but as the weather gets better and there is less ice and snow on the roads, I will see if I can get up the courage. Anxiety is such a hard thing to deal with but I will do my best.

[Rituals in reply to Expo123]

If you want it badly you can do it. I’m trying to encourage you.

[misslillie]

I don't like to drive with other people in the car. Never have. People sense this and take the opportunity to be a back seat driver. I am very self conscious about my driving. I think it opens me up to criticizim. I'm not a bad driver. Reasonable driving record. Guess we just have to go with it. Just ignore what you can.

[Expo123]

I will try to ignore it. Thanks for your reply misslillie.