Fear on Being Alone

[annmser12]

Does anyone else suffer from this? I live with my best friend, her husband and son. I have my own living room, office, and bedroom. I experience a lot of anxiety because although we live together we don't really see each other but on weekends. Since the Pandemic I've noticed that I feel alone a lot. We are taking quarantine very seriously and so I don't go out and my family lives in Ohio, I'm in Utah.

[Hidden]

I doo too. I don't know what to do about it. At least you actually have people around. But I totally understand. I can't go outside.what if....I don't drive..what if...2 major tradedies ,since covid. New to diabetes. Never eat. But yaaa silence or being alone are the loudest sounds!! I hear you. You are not the only one..at least know that!! ☺️💞

[Agora1]

Hi annmser12, let me first extend my sympathy to you on the loss of your brother.

Besides that loss, you have had another one through your family living in Ohio.

These 2 things in your life have caused big changes for sure as well as the Pandemic

coming along and making you feel so alone in the world even when living with others.

I think we all have felt a little lost during this past year. Lost and lonely no matter who

might be in the house with us. I'm glad you have come to this safe place where you can

share your feelings with others who feel the same. You are never alone xx

[annmser12 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! I'm trying to figure out some new hobbies I can do at home.

[sallyw_12 in reply to annmser12]

I started doing paint by numbers a few weeks ago and am really enjoying it!! I live alone, so finding “solo” activities during the pandemic has been a challenge, but I’ve found this paint by number to be particularly relaxing.

[annmser12 in reply to sallyw_12]

I just ordered a Friend's TV Show Lego set and a diamond paint by numbers to try out. Also going to make some hommade Christmas Cards.

[mearsery79]

It is really hard when you feel alone but are surrounded by people... I have a fiancé and sometimes I feel the same way... just try to find things you like to do.... is what I keep being told anyway

[mearsery79 in reply to mearsery79]

And I also lost my brother so I definitely know how you feel with that

[annmser12 in reply to mearsery79]

I'm sorry to hear that. It's not easy at all.

[mearsery79 in reply to annmser12]

No it’s about to be 6 yrs and it’s still hard

[annmser12 in reply to mearsery79]

It was my brother's 8 year anniversary on the 13th. It feels almost harder to handle as the years go by. My heart goes out to you.

[mearsery79 in reply to annmser12]

Yes my brother passed 5 days before his bday and all he wanted was for me to come visit I never knew it would be to go to his funeral. He also has kids so that doesn’t make it easier. But thank you and I do understand what you mean

[aliceazula]

I feel the same. I live with a friend but we barely talk. I feel lonely very often.

[hypercat54]

I live on my own and wish I lived with others. I find being alone so much is extremely lonely.

[Vickyjean]

Me to, and same with my dog lol he is watching me reply to you lol my husband just went to the store so my dogis leaning against me as I write. But I do understand how you feel. It’s good that they are in the same house with you. Can you FaceTime your best friend more? It will get easier, I realize more and more I’m not breathing fully when I get fearful so I take deep breaths.

[annmser12]

Thank you! It has not been easy at all.

[FearIsALiar]

Yes I have this fear!

[Lazy_dog_lover]

This plague is setting new levels of loneliness. I am from Ohio, now near Chicago. I live alone. I had a major car accident and was isolated from family for nearly a month in recovery.

Many kinesthetic people are finding this especially hard because they want to hug friends, shake hands, kiss loved ones. Unfortunately, if that is you, during the plague, you may need to find a big teddy bear to hug and then Skype, Zoom, Facebook Video message as much as you can.

This will pass. Be creative in finding a replacement strategy. Did you do exercise class with friends? Group video chat and keep doing it together. Whatever it takes. Go for it.

[VDC1]

Maybe try making some Zoom calls with family and friends.

[Lorcabella]

Me too, annmser. My husband died suddenly three years ago, and he was really my support person. I've had anxiety and depression most of my adult life.Two of my good friends have died during those three years, so I don't have them to talk to anymore. My adult son lives with me, but I never see him. He works from home and writes at night, so days go by where we don't even speak.

He's out of town tonight and I'm so scared. I'm on medication and in therapy and it helps, but not enough.

I hope we can all find some peace.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Lorcabella]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult that must’ve been! It’s so hard to cope after losing a loved one. I don’t do well with it. The thought of death just terrifies me!

[Lorcabella in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thank you. It's the hardest thing there is, I think.

[FearIsALiar in reply to Lorcabella]

It sounds like it..It’s a part of life though such a scary thought though

[Janesarah in reply to Lorcabella]

If you ever want to chat any time i can send you my number, i hate being on my own and even though i have my partner as my support person i often have awful anxiety attacks that he will one day no longer be here, sometimes we don’t realise how strong we are because anxiety likes to lie to us 💖

[annmser12 in reply to Lorcabella]

I'm so sorry, that is so much lose in such a short period of time. If you ever need someone to talk to please message me. Have you tried finding some hobbies you can do at home? That's what I'm going to start doing.

[Janesarah]

I do too if im having a bad day I don’t want to be on my own

[annmser12 in reply to Janesarah]

If you ever need to chat through it, message me!

[Janesarah in reply to annmser12]

Thank you ☺️ same to you

[Whiskers16]

I know exactly how you feel. I live with my daughter and partner but feel so alone dealing with this dreadful anxiety

[annmser12 in reply to Whiskers16]

It's really hard for others without anxiety to understand. This is why I joined this group. I need to talk with people and get to know people that get it. I'm always here to talk!

[dmt1121]

You are with us all. So many have family and friends they cannot see and all miss them and feel isolated. It seems endless but it will end and hopefully we all will have gained a bit more patience, more appreciation for the small things, we usually take for granted and knowing how important love is for everyone to thrive.

I can't help but feel that some part of what we all experience as anxiety and depression is tied to separation from each other, following what we feel is expected of us and not taking time to love ourselves. I think that until we know ourselves and love ourselves, nothing else is truly possible. I have been working on practicing meditation and reconnecting with drawing and writing, that I used to enjoy, as a way to become centered, grounded and gather myself.

It makes me feel closer to my daughters and granddaughters, even though they are not with me. I hope you find what works for you. Just know that you are not really alone, especially when you find what brings you more happiness in these tough times.

Stay well and stay hopeful.

[Janesarah in reply to dmt1121]

I totally agree with everything you have said, separation from loved ones is so hard, I struggle when my partner has to go to work and I’m having a bad anxious day, I’m learning to accept myself and getting to know myself and love me although with anxiety the intrusive thoughts makes it a hard fight some days, new medication also making it hard to adjust in these hard times but i stay hopeful that i will slowly get back to my fully functioning self 💖

[annmser12]

Thank you so much! I do have issues with loving myself and it's something I am trying to work on.

[carolk1955]

I too feel real fear, not just anxiety, when I'm alone in my room even though I live in a personal care home with 16 other people. I'm acquantances, not friends, with them. There was one I was starting to be friends with but she left, I think to go to a psychiatric facility. There was a guy who I was starting to be friends with, but he contracted COVID and died, only 54 years old. I don't have any family or other friends. This is not my hometown--I moved here when I got married in 1992. My husband died in 2017. I really miss being married, having somebody to cuddle with and be a companion. I feel like I have no life, no future. I've started to do yoga, which I did in the past. That seems to be helping a little. We already had a lockdown because many other residents contracted COVID. I tested negative and they had to move me downstairs to another room where the woman was also negative. But being a personal care home the state has still enforced "no visitors" to the house. I also miss my cats which I had since 1979 till I moved here. They were a great comfort, just petting them while they're purring reduced my anxiety. I would strongly advise getting a pet if you can.