How many were alone on the fourth? I had my car serviced yesterday. While that was being done I wandered over to the mall and talked to a long lost friend on fb messenger, someone I haven’t heard from in years and it was nice, I was able to forget my troubles for a time. Than I came home. I miss the life I used to have when I was young, with family and friends around. I think of the problems I have now, and I get so upset I cry.
So on the fourth I was alone. While others celebrated with family and friends. I don’t like the holidays or the weekends. When I’m not at work I’m totally alone. And I don’t even like my job that much. Can anyone else relate to this.
Thank you and I hope everyone was able to enjoy the holiday.
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Shutterbug65
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13 Replies
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Hi.
Glad you managed to interact with a long lost friend. A few mentioned they were alone for the Fourth of July celebrations, I think a lot are, it’s because we are on our own we feel like we are the only ones..and everyone else is happy and celebrating...
Yes Olivia that’s exactly how I felt. I dropped my car off at the mechanics and walked across the parking lot to the nearby mall. Yes they were open. And I felt so
sad, I see families walking around, and couples. Even people who are by themselves are on the phone with someone and probably have plans. I just don’t believe that there are others as alone as me.
I have vacation days to take, three weeks, and I actually dread it because I have nothing to do.
Absolutely nothing. I have all kinds of other problems to deal with too. I just want it to end.
I wish I was alone as that is the way I prefer it. I view the 4th of July as the worst holiday of the year with it sounding like a war going on outside with all the explosions scaring the animals including my own cats. I cannot find enough quiet.
I often think about the past too. I think we tend to view the past through rose colored glasses. I have come to realize that it’s not healthy to desire what once was in the past. What happened in the past was right for that time in our lives. The present which might not be agreeable at the moment is what we need now in our lives. All we can do is look for the peace we have in the present moment not the joy we had in the past.
That’s all I do is think about the past. It’s when I was the most happiest. I had family and friends around and I didn’t worry so much. My grandparents who raised me were concerned what would become of me. Looking back on it they had reason to be.
I agree with what Here_I_am is pointing to very whole-heartedly, and furthering that thought, as well as yours, Shutter, when we look at what the solution may be, it honestly comes down to this:
Every bit of hope for our futures lays in what we are doing right this very moment. I often ask myself, what 3 things can I accomplish or work toward TODAY that are bound to make my tomorrow better than my yesterday, and just focus on the first item of that very short 3 item list, and then the next, and then the third.
If I am doing "what is most important right now," it really IS okay to just ignore all my other problems at that moment, because right now, I am doing the most important thing that I CAN do right now, and A.) I SHOULD focus on that task, because it truly is important, and screwing it up would be bad, and B.) If I am doing what is truly most important (and is possible right now) throughout my day, taking appropriate breaks and ENDING the "work" part in the evening so I can relax a while and unwind before I sleep, my life WILL improve, and improve at MAXIMUM SPEED!
Another benefit I get from this approach is, I almost always have a list of things I have accomplished at day's end that I feel good about, and feeling good about myself is key to being more healthy that I am or was.
By Christmas last year another of my own father's narcissistic fits was in full swing and I had been gaslighted so badly, and was so hated by an entire community that I almost froze to death, because though I had money in my checking account, and had managed to get my motorcycle insured and registered before the fall of 2017, the snow drifts were too deep to rode my motorcycle through to get less than 7 miles to the gas station so I could buy more kerosene so I could get warm(ish).
That was my 3rd Christmas since my mom had passed away on Sunday December 13th 2015. I used to have a life, and I used to design and shoot huge fireworks displays every 4th of July.
On the subject of "right now," right now I am completely exhausted and am going to take a brief nap,
But FIRST
Right now I am going to share with you, my super-secret song to play while I "Turn this thing around. I hope it helps you the same way it always helps me! Peace.
I can totally relate. Even when I’m around people I feel alone. I really feel pitiful with my life. Every medication makes me feel zoned out and weird except for Xanax which makes me tired. I feel like I’m a burden to everyone and get so tired of talking about my depression and issues with friends I just shut them out now. My relationship is suffering dramatically behind but that’s one of the reasons I feel so depressed. I worry about everything and up to a few months ago I would only get this bad around my cycle or it only last for a couple of days. But, it’s been close to a month now and it’s just getting worse. I hate my home life and I hate my work life. I’m stressed beyond the meaning of the word with finances and always feel defensive like everyone is out to get me or is treating me wrong. I was in therapy but unfortunately after a few visits I couldn’t tell who was the therapist and who was the patient. All she did was talk about herself and family! So, now I’m looking for a new therapist. I feel like I’m on the edge, close to losing my job which through normal eyes Is not as bad as it could be. However, they have me doing 2 jobs and it runs my anxiety through the roof, my blood pressure is staying up 178 over 100 and my dr wrote a note saying I can only do my job not two. But, I’m nervous they will try to fire me. I’m in bankruptcy, my common law husband of 24 years has cheated on me more times than I can count. We are back together this time for 3 years now only was apart 1 year and I don’t trust him, he never spend anytime with me and then blames me for never wanting to do anything. We have a 21 year old son together and he’s in a lot of trouble with law and and could possible do 4 years In prison. I think if that happens I will literally lose my mind. He’s the only reason I have kept it together this far. His father had had several children on me now all over the age of 14 who I’ve come to accept and treat like mine when they are around. I could go on and go on but there’s not enough sheets to write or time in the world. I just want to be back strong, healthy and confident like I use to be. If anyone has suggestions or success stories please share. Sadly, this is only a small part of my issues. I am trying to finish school and make more money working from home, but it’s been near impossible to complete my studies because I’m so depressed and filled with anxiety.
I just now read your post and I’m so sorry for all the terrible things life has thrown your way. You show a great deal of resilience.
I would love to reply to you more later when I get the chance. I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner I have trouble keeping up with messages sometimes. But I read yours. Be strong.
Hi Shutterbug65 i spend majority of my time alone/lonely and depressed, not just holidays but i hate eating dinner alone every night. i finally moved to CO as a result of this loneliness, bc i put together a plan to live in assisted living facility one day, where at least i won't have dinner alone daily anymore. in TX i would've had to wait til my 60's , plus the medicaid for assisted living there didn't cover mental illness, whereas in CO the medicaid waiver for assisted living does cover anxiety/depression, and the assisted living facilities will take me in my 40's. but i had to start out independent, still live alone in apt here in CO- it will take time to get into the system and apply for these things and i had to start with proof of residency. so anyway at the moment i'm even lonelier than i was in Dallas bc i don't know anyone here, and depressed that loneliness brought me to this point, instead of me getting the husband i wanted. so i just try to hold on to my faith, hoping i will meet people at church, meetup groups, or support groups. this is how i met friends when i moved to Dallas from NY years ago- knowing no one there either. so i hope these things could work for you? church, meetup.com ( a site where you join groups with common interests and go to their activities/gatherings) or support groups. praying for you
Boy can I relate to you!!! I'm an empty nester & my hubby is a trucker...I spend many a holiday alone! I despise being alone! I'm here for you whenever!! I'll get up in the morning & well here we go again! I'm here for you!!! Love & Hugs!!! XXX
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