Does anyone suffer from monophobia isolation and fear of being alone , along with anx and depression

[Pug_Power]

It's been a battle for me for about 10 years now. At times I feel like I'm climbing out of my skin from the anxiety triggers from being alone and isolated. Any input would be appreciated

[Against_the_current]

With me it's really weird because i'm feeling sad of loneliness and have social anxiety at the same time. But it's actually really common. You're not alone in this

[Pug_Power in reply to Against_the_current]

I'm not sure if you live alone but that's what has made it harder for me.

[Against_the_current in reply to Pug_Power]

Today i haven't seen real people. I usually live with mom and sis but i got too much and moved out and now have 2 flatmates but they weren't here today (which i actually Enjoyed tho, i could chill in the living room)

[Adlon57]

I suffer from claustrophobia, I live by myself, enjoy my own company, treated as being a bit of a history nerd, but harmless, which is important, I need to change furniture settings, asap, especially my bedroom, I try to leave my curtains open at night, if not I get nightmares, usually something like a maze, getting tighter and tighter, waking up, I am scared living in a semi my neighbours might hear me? They say I don't but I wonder? I fell under a sand dune when I was small, pulled out by my feet. My GP knows all about it, unfortunately ALWAYS been told "you will have to wait!" then the nearer the supposed appointment the MORE nightmares! I am 65, I have given up, the phobia is too well imbedded!🥴🙄

[Zyxx in reply to Adlon57]

I have extreme claustrophobia, too, and like you I wake up from nightmares about being locked up, or about not being able to breathe. It is torture.

[Adlon57 in reply to Zyxx]

I have been told that I could be treated? I'm glad I live alone, I would prefer convenient to wide spaces, unfortunately in the middle of a housing estate, but do have a 30x20 garden!👍

[tofler]

I hadn't heard of monophobia before and had to google it. I've lived on my own for the last 8 years since getting divorced. Working from home for the last two years (due to Covid) has made things a lot more difficult and I've found that as I spent even more time on my own, the less I've wanted to interact with other people and my depression has got worse. I'm currently trying to find ways to fight back against the urge to isolate myself, but it's slow progress.

[Dell12345 in reply to tofler]

Working at home all the time has definitely made things harder for me too.Couple that with a quiet weekend and it all feels a bit rubbish. For some reason yes this makes me anxious too, but then the thought of going out to see people also makes me anxious so it becomes quite difficult.

[tofler in reply to Dell12345]

Yes I can relate to what you're saying. Every day starts to feel the same and things can start to spiral downwards until the thought of trying to do something about feels like a huge task, rather overwhelming and anxiety-provoking. Have you had any successes or managed to take any small steps in a positive direction? I love to hear about things which have helped other people and I keep trying to think of new ideas to help get me out of this very deep rut that I'm in.

[Pug_Power in reply to tofler]

I have a pretty sever case of it. I have a lot of time on my hands and that doesn't help. I only have 1 family member in the state and the rest live far away . Had a good friend who also moved away. It's the lack of face to face human contact that kills me. Cant fill the time up . I mostly take walks with my dog but it's not enough. It's not easy to meet people either. I'm an extrovert so this makes it even worse. I like to be around people so the lack of that increases my depression and anxiety. Honestly I feel stuck , not many social groups around. Trying to find a church that may offer some of that. I try not to let it consume or panic me but it's really hard.

[tofler in reply to Pug_Power]

Too much time on our hands definitely makes it more difficult. I hope you manage to find some social groups soon. I joined one last year and it was definitely a step in the right direction and has made a difference. Things were looking up for me until too much stress at work set me back again, just a few weeks ago.

[emmi331 in reply to Pug_Power]

Keep looking for a church. If you have nextdoor.com in your area, join it. The other day someone showed up on nextdoor for my area, asking for church recommendations. The response was incredible; people seemed to love their own church, and many churches sounded like they had tons of outreach and volunteer activities. All sounded like they were warm and welcoming. It's also a good way to be of service to others, which helped me last year through a period of anxiety and depression.🧡

[Pug_Power in reply to emmi331]

At this point a solid church with a lot of social activities is what I'm hoping to find. Im finding Many churches practice prayer but dont have a lot in the way of regular social type activities.

[emmi331 in reply to Pug_Power]

You may need to look for a larger church with plenty to do. Several years ago I was part of a large Catholic church that had bake sales, rummage sales, dinners, volunteers going to serve food in a shelter. They also visited a nursing home to play Bingo with the residents, needed help with their day camps, and so much more. I remember hauling clothes to another church for their clothing closet and helping there, too.

That kind of church will keep you busy every day of the month!

Also consider community theater; you don't have to get up on stage, either. They need help backstage, in the box office, etc.

Doing anything like this naturally leads to socializing and new friends.

Best of luck....!

[Zyxx in reply to Pug_Power]

Me: one family member only, but she makes my life a lot harder. I prefer little or no contact. Spouse dead, one best friend dead, the other terminal right now. I do have some other friends but I would actually rather be alone. This isn’t my world anymore.

[Pug_Power in reply to Zyxx]

Sounds like some tough times for you as well, sorry to hear. 10 years ago I never thought I would be in this situation today, never thought it would happen. The good times feel long gone.

[Dell12345]

I find having a project is good for me. I do a lot of DIY, or building models, or restoring something. It's easy to put that before socialising though which can be self defeating.

But doing something practical that I can look at afterwards with satisfaction definitely helps me a lot.

[tofler in reply to Dell12345]

I like doing practical things like that as well, but I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself at the moment. I'm gonna keep trying though!