I like being alone but hate being lonely.

[lilsaddude]

off today and I love having no work responsibilities. but sometimes it would be cool to have some company but then I worry about if they are actually enjoying themselves around me. once I had a friend tell me that I was a boring person. it was a revelation at the time. now I stay away from most people out of fear that I'm not fun or interesting. i don't think my social anxiety started there but it was the first time I really gave it some serious thought.

[chatnoirmd]

I feel the same way. And let me tell you, I’m very boring and I prefer it that way When you meet a good friend, someone worthy of your time, you will shine like the brightest star in the sky. You’ll open up, smile, laugh more, and you will allow that person to see the real you. My daily excitement is hanging with my dog, but he is worth my time. His tail wags get me through the day and walking him gets me out. It also connects me with other pet people. Most conversation is about your diva dog and you slowly build from there.... it gives me some socialization without feeling too lonely. Hope that makes sense!

[lilsaddude in reply to chatnoirmd]

Thanks for that. makes a lot of sense.

[Mazy817]

I know what you mean. When I meet people, they are so "want to fix me" until I show any symptoms. What I have found is that people who don't understand depression or social anxiety have no clue how to help and are terrified of what to do or say. I think its like if I was epileptic, people would be sympathetic until I had a seizure. If you feel isolated and like everyone's abandoned you, that is an unfortunate reality with depression and anxiety. I am 64 and have been struggling for years to accept that I will have to deal with my illness all day, every day. Interacting on this website has proven to be a great way to get comfort and give comfort to someone that knows exactly how you feel. I have a service dog, Mazy, (she's the one with jammies on in the picture). My doctor wrote a letter saying I needed an emotional support dog and I got her registered online. By law, you can go anywhere with your service dog. She is my best and only friend and the love of my life.

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Mazy817]

Mazy817 I like your spirit, I am 75 and in Another Bad Depression with Killer Anxiety,Like you say most people do not know how to deal with it, which for me leaves me feeling even more lonely and isolated. I am a fighter and get up ready to do battle everyday with "M" m for monster. Somedays are better than others, I have 2 cats so cannot consider a dog, only 2 pets allowed here. I am on 6 different meds and hope amongst that brew my brain will be put on the right road (for the umpteenth time in my life. Thank you anyone that reads this, whatever your affliction I wish you well and send you Peace. Sprinkle 1

[lilsaddude in reply to Sprinkle1]

Thank you for sharing that.

[chatnoirmd in reply to Sprinkle1]

Hi Sprinkle1,

I love my dog, but my cat owned me <3! She passed away six months ago but she was my rock. Her purr could help me in ways nothing else could

[lilsaddude in reply to Mazy817]

wow thats cool as hell.

[chatnoirmd in reply to Mazy817]

That’s just wrong - they want to fix you. Nothing is wrong with any of us, seriously We have issues just like everyone else. Some are seen and some aren’t. Pets can really help with depression ect. I’m glad you have your sweet dog.

[Peter99099]

Hey I’m in the same boat I don’t mind being alone but get lonely. When I have company I feel rushed and so anxious. I spend a lot of my time in the garage my wife hates it but when I’m around her I’m always wondering what she really thinks of me. Shitty feeling

[lilsaddude in reply to Peter99099]

yeah dude. Its like I want someone to notice that I'm hurting without me having to bother them about it. its so unfair to everyone involved

[Pecan26 in reply to lilsaddude]

This is me right now. Sometimes I wonder how people cant see the hurt on me.

[Mads_ in reply to lilsaddude]

I feel the same way, its almost like I am invisible to everyone. I have told some people about my pain but its almost like they assume its temporary. Symptoms don't just last for a few hours or days, its months or years. After talking about it a few times I feel like a burden. You would think they would notice the symptoms since they are so prominent, well at least in me. I just recently moved for college and it has been so hard trying to meet new friends so it can be very lonely. I don't mind it but sometimes it just becomes to much, almost like the loneliness is swallowing me whole if that makes sense.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I think you are listening to the wrong person. I find doing things I like with like minded persons can lead to friendship. I also find as we get older friendship does not come easily like it did when we were with kids in school, or in our own neighborhood. So forget the unkind remark that was made to you, try a little volunteer work in areas that interest you, it just might work out for you. First of all believe in yourself, you are special and have a lot to offer. Good luck. Sprinkle 1

[Mazy817]

I am hooked on this website, but I’m confused about who I am replying to. How do you know. Do you reply to the post right above or to the original post that is in your email? Please advise me, I’m old.

[Lostjoy in reply to Mazy817]

Hi Mazy I've been a little confused also, so when I want to reply to the person who wrote the post I click reply under that persons post, but just now I wanted to reply to you, so I hit reply under your reply. Hope this helps, or maybe someone else can explain it better.

[Mazy817 in reply to Mazy817]

Yes, you are wise and awesome lamok64. Thanks for helping the old lady across the street!

[Mazy817]

Thanks for clearing that up for me. I can see now that this reply is going to you, and if I wanted to reply to the original post, then I click the reply in the same box as their post. I am going to try that now and see what happens.

[Hidden]

I feel this way exactly! I wish for alone time and then when I get it, It makes me sad. I have friends but I keep them at arms length out of fear. Do they want to hang out with me? Are they having fun with me? Are they telling me what they really think of me or are they just tolerating me. So I stay home, away from people unless I am at school. Most of the time its just me and my kids. I am a home body so I probably am boring. I stay out of trouble that way and avoid anxiety attacks that way.

[lilsaddude in reply to Hidden]

It’s been 2 years since I’ve made this post and I’ve changed a lot since then. I think a remedy for this is to do things you like and like minded individuals will notice and make themselves available to you. It won’t feel forced because you have the same interests which would naturally bleed into an actual friendship

[Hidden in reply to lilsaddude]

I'm glad you have found a way to get passed this. That is very good advice. Thank you. Guess i need to pay closer attention to the dates on the posts. Sorry i'm new to this.

[lilsaddude in reply to Hidden]

No no no, I’m glad you responded. It actually prompted me to make a whole post about how I’ve changed in the last 2 years. So thank you 😊

[Roxylox]

I have also been told this by a friend, not nice. It does make you hyper-conscious l think. I was wondering though can being sincere and honest come across as boring. Maybe a consolation?