I feel lost

[Blackedout]

The past two days have kind of been a bit of a blur. Not realistically but in the sense I just kind of feel numb. Not sure who all read my last post but I came into a bit of money trouble from taking a medical sick leave from work and now am having trouble getting paid for a months worth of time I took off work. I literally feel so sick to my stomach. I may not be getting back paid for this time and have no clue how I'm going to ever catch up on all this extra added debt. I had to borrow an extra 700 from my dad to pay rent that I dot know when I'll be able to pay back. This has just sent my mood spiraling even farther down.

I know a lot of people say there are dark days where you can literally stare at things for hours on end or do things or watch tv and not really remember what you watched or what you did ( that sort of thing) that's how my last two work days have went so far. I couldn't for the life of you tell you how I got any of my work done. I feel like a zombie.

I'm not hungry, and I havent been in a long time. I managed to eat a banana, some yogurt and grapes while at work yesterday , then a couple cookies and a small bowl of penne pasta before bed. What like a whole 1000 calories. I've lost 45 pounds this last year and I only started at 165...

I just dont feel like anything I do or say to people is the right thing, I always seem to fuck things up. When I'm in a good mood my adhd always seems to ruin it or annoy people , I over think things way too much, Like what's wrong with me? Why do I have to be like this?!?

[Hidden]

Nothing is wrong with you. Life tests us sometimes, it throws curve balls when we aren’t looking. It’s how we react to them is what matters. These reactions allows us to not let anxiety win... realize the work stuff is temporary.

Is the time you took off considered ‘paid sick/medical leave’ (part of your employment and benefits package). I see you are in Canada so I don’t know the employment laws there.

Did you ask your Dad how to go about asking your work if you are covered and going to get to paid. You need reassurance that you’ll get paid for benefits owed to you.

I’m so sorry you are having a rough go with things right now. But I think if you can find out about the money this will ease a huge burden off you and you can get back to self care and refocus on work and important things in your life. Wishing you quick and satisfactory answers so these burdens will lift. 🌺💜

[Blackedout in reply to Hidden]

I'm supposed to get paid through employment insurance but my work didnt submit the right paperwork on time so now I may lose out on the sick pay completely. I have to wait and see what happens. My hr department may have screwed me over since they didnt listen to me and waiting until past a certain date to submit my record of employment. I wont know anytime soon either which is the stressful part.

I'm trying to find resources near by for food and what not since I dont live at home and dont drive but that isnt working out. And my dad lives in a different province than me 🙃 and my mom cant afford to help out financially. I also cant eat gluten or dairy so a lot of places cant help out food wise because of this so I just feel so helpless right now. I dont even know what to do about my Bill's or how I'm going to pay for my prescriptions when I go to get my meds changed next week to up the dosage . It's just making my mood so much worse and causing fights at home and if feel like it's all my fault

[Hidden in reply to Blackedout]

I’m not familiar with the process to file claims to get paid for sick leave in Canada. There has to be a way to submit the paper work so you get paid. This just sounds wrong on all levels and even illegal to not pay you...it would be here in the US.

I’ve been broke before, so broke I was scraping money out of the floor board of my car, looking for loose change any where in my house, car, desk at work, you name it.

I’m not sure your current home life situation, if you live with someone that can help, etc.. I’d call all my creditors, talk to you doctor maybe he can give you samples or just get the script filled for a few pills for now and get the rest of the script when you get paid.

I’m not familiar with a gluten free diet, but I can tell you in my younger years I lived on ramen noodles and water, stale crackers, plenty of times when I was broke.. There’s always a way to get things to work out, and things do have a way of working out. This is a temp setback, doesn’t make it suck less, but this shall pass. 🌺💜

[Letsgethappy]

Hello! Not sure if you remember me but you kindly commented on my post. I am so sorry to hear you feel like this. It breaks my heart! And money problems is also such a hard thing to go through. Also please remember there is NOTHING wrong with you, you are just going through an awful time and although it may not seem it now im sure you will get through this! I am not a professional and what I say might not making a dent but I want you to know that I care and I don't want you to be down. You are not alone and you are strong no matter if you don't feel it! Sending virtual love and hugs ❤

[Blackedout in reply to Letsgethappy]

I do remember and thank you I really appreciate it! Just going through a really tough time right now ☹

[Letsgethappy in reply to Blackedout]

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that. Message me anytime x

[Reading_Rando]

There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with a world that punishes you for just doing what you have to do to be able to function in society (getting medical treatment).