The awakening

[Imgarbage]

I hav e battled depression and anxiety since I was 10 or 11 I got good at hiding it I was in control o f my feelings and it was just best to avoid people. I am married to a difficult woman to love she now has left me a third time in 22 years 1st time she cheated and drained the checking. I came home to someone serving me foreclosure papers I forgave her cause of the kids and I do truly love her 2nd she just wasn't happy fast forward to the 3rd time 2 weeks ago she said I was miserable and miserable to be around which i was. I was shut down had no emtion. I didn't even realize it that the depression took over it took the shock of her leaving to snap me out of it. Part of my wife's deal is she can't accept affection and love she's got a wall around her heart. I am an emotional guy that likes to show affection and my love but I can only take so much rejection till I figure y bother so not only was I keeping the negative in I was keeping the good in. I was totally shut down. We text now and are comunicating we decided she need to find what makes her happy about herself and I have to fix myself cause I am broken before we can work on our marriage. So this is when the anxiety/panic attacks begin but I am gaining ground on the depression just wish I could sleep

[Hidden]

God doesn't make garbage.

He says you are "Fearfully and Wonderfully made"..

Chris

Catman

🌟

[Imgarbage in reply to Hidden]

If you are referring to my handle I am working out y the depression for so long my earliest memory is kindergarten I guess I was to much for the teacher to handle she put me in the classroom garbage can for class more than once not good for the self esteem and I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

[Hidden in reply to Imgarbage]

Hi there,

I had to read your response about six times to believe I really read that right..

I was unbelievly intensely abused by my Catholic School nun Teacher twice. Once was for the whole day, about 6 hours nonstop in front of the whole class..

My Probation officer knows all about this, as I've talked to him many many times about it...

What she did Totally Warped my view of girls and women forever..

It was horrible Sexual abuse and two times too.?

I'll never describe what she did to me to anyone ever. It hurts way too much to do that.

I now know that she is an incredibly sick person to attack a 10 year old 5th grade child like that...

There were no motivations for her to do this...

She just did this because she felt bad about her life and took it all out on me. She assaulted me because she felt like it and I was an easy and Helpless target..

Sexually I have never been a Normal person ever since...

I read you say your teach put you in garbage can "more than once", and now your handle and username is "garbage", after all these years --

God didn't say you are garbage, but that teacher treated you like you are...

I do feel physically Nauseous right now but I will get over it.

And most teachers I know would never do this.

Reply or message me again anytime you want...

Catman22

Chris

👨‍🏫

[Imgarbage in reply to Hidden]

Catholic schools wtf. I to had the sexual abuse I think .my memory is real fuzzy but I can kind a remember being a situation were I just wanted to go I can remember someones hands on me copping a feel. When I think about it I get an overwhelming feeling it was worse and I remember another kid crying I think I took his punishment cause I felt bad and at times it was more than one priest I can kind a remember this but on the other hand it never happened my counselor say I probably was abused and this is how it is for a lot people that were. Last year was the first time I said it to a family member it came out when I was drinking. I just told my wife this yesterday. We r recently seperated but we get together once a week to talk we have to work on ourselves before we can work on our marriage. So I can sort of understand were you are in life hope you weren't nauseous to long I get bad anxiety attacks if I think about things

[Hidden]

Thanks for responding,

You were sexually abused..

It's just a hard thing to face,

and harder to understand why something seemingly so small,

can Hurt so Unbelievable Badly, for so Long...

Chris

😭

[Imgarbage in reply to Hidden]

Kept all inside didn't want to face it I felt to ashamed

[Hidden in reply to Imgarbage]

Exactly!!

You feel it is Your Fault and you deserve it...

So you say nothing and they get away with it..

A prefect deal for them -

but not for you...

Catman22

👐