The holidays

[Amysmom]

HI all, just wanted to pop in and say with the holidays coming cut yourself some slack. Personally with anxiety and depression it seems lots of people struggle trying to make everything perfect , make everyone happy put on that happy face. I say screw that if your down your down no shame in it at all, Don't feel like getting together don't . I know longer worry about stuff like this around this time of yr. People can take me or leave me just as I am I don't hide my depression and anxiety anymore I am who I am. Hope this gives some people some clarity. Hang in there people

[Rufus07]

I was just saying how anxious I was getting! I do try to make everything perfect and it never works. The cooking the cleaning , all the people…..I don’t like it. My house is very small so there really isn’t room. Everyone brings a dish, so that helps. But still it’s so stressful. All I can do is my best I guess. Can’t wait till it’s over.

[Downandout123 in reply to Rufus07]

"Can't wait till it's over"-YUP 😞

[marsbarr in reply to Rufus07]

Aww don't wish it to be over. You know even that thought gives you anxiety. Wishing something was over before it gets here.First thing there is no such thing as perfect; it's only a word. You love to cook,clean up and prepare for your guests in your small house that friends and family love to come to and bring treats .you say you don't like it? Look around who is making you? If you really didn't want to do it; you wouldn't. Ding dong. The first guest is here. Relax it will be great. Happy Thanksgiving.

[Rufus07 in reply to marsbarr]

Thank you and happy thanksgiving to you.

[Rufus07 in reply to marsbarr]

I really dont want to do it. I feel obligated. We have some friends who don’t have a place to go so S.O. always tells them to come here. He’s a social butterfly….the more the merrier for him.

[marsbarr in reply to Rufus07]

Oh I see. Well maybe next time plan on going somewhere. Have you ever told S.O how you feel?

[Rufus07 in reply to marsbarr]

I haven’t told him. I don’t know what he would say. And going somewhere just opens up a whole new can of worms. It seems like I just can’t win. I will try my best. That’s all I can do. I worry about embarrassing myself if I have a meltdown.

[BlueAgave]

I just backed out of traveling to my parents. I feel so guilty and ashamed of feeling this anxiety. I just can't do it right now. Was never this way. I've lost all confidence in myself. Thank you for this post!

[marsbarr in reply to BlueAgave]

Don't feel guilty or ashamed. Guilty because you can't go or won't go. Ashamed because you are not going? Home is great place to be with parents unless there is something else. Only you know.Whatever you decide to do. You are making the call. Happy Holidays.

[Amysmom in reply to BlueAgave]

Hey BlueAgave, don't feel guilty or ashamed . Anxiety passes then it rears its ugly head up again and again especially when were stressed. You can't visit you can't visit just do what you need to do for yourself right now. As for confidence we all struggle with that no matter our age . Right now just take care of you that's all that matters.

[BlueAgave in reply to Amysmom]

Thank you. I had been planning on going for over a month, but once the time got closer, I panicked. I'm going to try and visit on a non holiday. I think all the darn hype of "HOLIDAYS" makes me feel worse.

[Rufus07 in reply to BlueAgave]

I pretty much do it every Xmas. Back out going to my parents. I know exactly how you feel.

[BlueAgave in reply to Rufus07]

Thank you!

[marsbarr]

Yes exactly. You are what you are. You have good days and not so good days,but never bad days. If you are breathing it's a good day. I learned I don't have to kiss up to anyone to make them happy. My happiness is important and I need to be comfortable I read this one time. It said " I used to walk in a room and wonder if they like me now I walk in a room and wonder if I like them" stand strong and reach out when needed.Happy Holidays.

[catsrock]

Love this post! Thanks for your honesty.