Struggling Alone

[offbeat]

I'm new here.

I've struggled with anxiety for most of my life. It's always triggered by a health concern, which could be anything, such as a migration headache, stomach pains chest pains, etc... In other words "I'm dying."

Whenever I talk to my doctor about my concerns, she'll give me a full examination and tell me everything looks fine. I'm not dying. Than eventually whatever pain it was goes away and I'm ok again.

When I struggle with anxiety, I'm paralyzed with fear, absolutely no appetite, panicky, constant diarrhea, and every other symptom associated with anxiety.

I've been struggling for a week now and it feels like there's no end in sight. What's worst is I'm alone. My mother passed away, my only friend soon after, and my spouse of 17 years. All within 16 months of each other. Its been 4 years and I'm still alone. I don't mind living alone, but in times like this I wish I had somebody in my life to talk to.

Can anyone relate?

[Hidden]

Hello

I am sorry you have lost so many loved one's within such a short time and when I read your post you sound like you are suffering with Health Anxiety which could have been triggered by loosing your loved one's

I suffer from it to and when you believe there is something wrong it is so hard to trust the Doctors when they say you are fine

I have to work really hard on the way I think , challenge the thoughts and it is not easy when the anxiety is engulfing me

For instance why would a qualified trained Doctor tell me I was fine if I was not ?

What prove have I other than my thinking that there is something wrong ?

And so on

You can maybe ask to be referred for some Counselling ?

If you can catch this quick it can be a lot easier to reverse where I started with this young when there was no help as well as you would not dare tell anyone as they would either tell you that you were silly or be worried they would lock you up and throw the key away ! at least now we can talk about it and there is support out there if you ask for it

I understand been on your own must be difficult and I have to say I have my husband and Son still living at home but when my anxiety is really bad I feel I could be in a room with a 100 people and still feel so alone because when no one understands how you are feeling that is the loneliest feeling in the word but now you have found these Communities I hope in a small way even though via internet it helps knowing that there are others to feeling the same and always someone to talk to

Take Care x

[offbeat in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response. My husband was my everything. He always did what he could to support me and I miss him very much. I definitely have health anxiety and I'm suffering through this now. I'm hoping it will pass soon. I'm happy to find this site because today I do feel a little less alone. Have a wonderful day.

[Hidden in reply to offbeat]

This must be so hard for you , we are here though to listen and accepting you have Health Anxiety is a good place to start

You need a chat come on there is always someone to listen x

[offbeat in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much.

[Icanmakeit]

I can relate to anxiety I am alone and constantly think I am dying. I wanted to call ambulance last night but not sure what for. Just want someone to tell me I am ok. Been like this since covid started. So agonizing. Everyday of anxiety. On meds and seeing counselor. So hard.

[offbeat in reply to Icanmakeit]

I'm going to do my best to get through this without calling my doctor. Everyday I think about what I'm going to tell her and what she might say. This time anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I was fine one moment than devastated the next. Its been one week today and I feel like there's no end in site. The way I see it is, it's been a week and I'm still alive so I guess I'll be ok. Now I need to convince my brain that.

Are you afraid of covid?

[Icanmakeit in reply to offbeat]

Yes very much so. Been self isolating mainly. That is what started all this severe anxiety. Been tested twice. Negative. Only people I see is nieces and their kids and sister. So hard miss my family.

[offbeat in reply to Icanmakeit]

I'm so sorry about your anxiety. Stay strong and take care of yourself.

[Danzdanz123]

Wow that’s so much to deal with in such a short space of time. You are a very strong person especially being alone now. What you have to think is you can get your life back make new friends start hobbies travel get out there therapy will be so good for you you could maybe join a class in something you really enjoy and you could end up meeting people and new friends.

I know how it feels to have that sort of anxiety and it is honestly horrible.

[offbeat in reply to Danzdanz123]

Thank you for responding. It was definitely the worst time of my life. After my husband passed away I went from 2 incomes to 1 and this also affected my life. I have a vehicle that doesn't run and I have no money to repair it. I live in a small town so there's no buses or cabs or uber. I order everything I need online and have it delivered. Having no transportation is even more isolating. I have to rely on the internet to keep me in touch with the world. I wonder if I could find a therapist online?

[Icanmakeit in reply to offbeat]

I have been seeing a counselor on line. Televisits

[offbeat in reply to Icanmakeit]

Thank you. I will definitely look into this.

[Anxiousabby]

You are definitely not alone. Since my ex-husband died of a stroke at the age of 40, I've been scared of my health non stop for the last 4 years. I've been in every physician and they have performed so many test and im pretty healthy considering how young I am. All I can tell you is just let this feeling pass, there isn't a definite cure but this can be manageable. I work in Healthcare and I feel embarrassed to even call my doctor with a new symptom because it ends up to be stress triggered. It gets better sometimes, I was feeling amazing until I needed surgery for my breast lumps and everything came back, the feeling that I was going to die for this, even though my surgeon and my doctors assure me they are benign. I had surgery on Wednesday and All I know is that I didn't die, that I'm going to be fine and that no matter what we do, there was nothing I could do to avoid having grows in my breast. Just be vigilant and practice a good healthy lifestyle...thats it. Good luck to you ❤❤

[offbeat in reply to Anxiousabby]

Thank you for responding. I'm so sorry about your recent health issues. Sounds like you're on the road to recovery.

My husband passed away from cancer. Every time something new happens to me I feel like a baby for complaining. I was like this before he passed away. The only difference is his presence was comforting.

You're right about being vigilant. I need to be strong and work through this. I definitely need to take better care of myself. I wish I was doing that all along, but this has been a wakeup call. When I'm fine I don't think about it, but as soon as something doesn't feel right I go full panic.

This sucks.

[Anxiousabby in reply to offbeat]

Same here hun, but always remember that you aren't alone and we all feel the same way. But it gets better, I promise you that

[offbeat in reply to Anxiousabby]

Thank you very much.

[Hidden]

Yes definitely. Still working on this one. It's like I really feel scared im dying sometimes. It's not pleasant. Trying to be more healthy seems to help so far.

[offbeat in reply to Hidden]

I can't get myself off the damn couch.

[Hidden in reply to offbeat]

I'm sorry for what you're going through being alone. Perhaps having some kind of pet would help? And just try to take small steps to do things. Like just take a shower. And go easy on yourself.

[offbeat in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for replying.

My German Shepard passed away this April. She was a great companion. My husband and I bought her together and she never left my side.

You're right about taking small steps. That's what I plan to do. I can't believe how content I was a week ago.