I'm loosing my mind.. Help!!

I'm 21 .....i think a lot but of late that has worsened, I spend all my days thinking... I find myself loosing grip of reality .... I got into gambling of late and I have lost every single thing I had to my name and I'm into debt ....i try getting online jobs this period but none are hiring it so damn frustrating, I used to have a boyfriend that helped me out when I was down but now I have no1 but myself..... I find myself not sleeping at night..... I get threatened message every now and then from those I owe.... Sometimes I feel like ending my self is the only way out... But I really try not too.. I don't know how long I can hold on

[Vickyjean]

Your overwhelming feelings are something many or most of us do, please know your not alone and it willl pass. I think it’s great that you identified that gambling may not be serving you well and if you eliminate a negative then you will feel so much better! Do you hv a therapist to talk to? Go easy on yourself, we all have habits and one day we realize what is better for us and the joy will come back! Be kind to yourself and you are very special.

[Hidden in reply to Vickyjean]

Thank you so much, that felt good to hear.... No I can't really afford a therapist

[Vickyjean in reply to Hidden]

This is a great place to talk with people, many have seen therapists so you can get free tools from them! You will get through this. Just try to replace a positive after a negative and it will Become a habit. Now be good to yourself and know how special you are. I’m here if you need to chat!!

[Hidden in reply to Vickyjean]

I will chat you up

[Haley7]

Pretty pen,

You have so much life ahead of you!

I understand the thinking, over and over. There are times in my life when things just get crazy and then I’m in my head again.

It spirals out of control with the things I judge myself about and then I think: what’s wrong with me?

As one poster replied, try to be kind to yourself. ❤️ You are not crazy. And yes you can learn from the thousands of people on here going through some of the same things as you. There are so many kind people that want to help you, and although we’re not face to face; there’s comfort knowing you can come on and ask questions and have that support. You are not alone.

I just recently stumbled on the ADAA website. Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

They have a lot of good info and videos (which I think are super helpful). Since you can’t go to therapy right now, take control by not letting your mind win. When your doing something and your mind starts to wander off into those negative thoughts, realize it’s happening, and bring yourself back to what you’re doing. Breathe, look at things around you, trees, sky. A quick distraction to stop the thoughts. It’s a form of mindfulness that I’ve just started reading about. It’s been helpful. Find webinars and videos and let it be your “therapist” for now. Also due to COVID there are a lot of free resources that normally would not be available.

I know when your feeling this way you just want it to stop and get back to yourself. It’s not easy I know!

Although you are now without your boyfriends support, make this time alone “your time”. Your time to take a step back, look at your situation and how you can improve it. Learn about YOU. Be good to YOU. Take walks, but don’t get in your head. Notice the things around you. Listen to the sounds (dogs barking, sounds of kids playing, the wind)...

You have a lot going on at the same time. I’m very sorry. 😐

I am older, and I have a daughter a few years older than you. I would be heartbroken to know she was in a similiar situation. Can you talk to your parents? Maybe they would be willing to help pay for you to go talk to someone? Do you have some neighbors, that are not in your circle?

You can get past this. Here is one last resource that could be good for you. If you can get apps on your phone, there is an app called Meetup.com. Open it and put your city. Depending on where you are located, you will see various groups, clubs that you can join. Some are for meeting for relationships (avoid those for a little 😊), some for physical activities like hiking, kayaking, mental things like meditation, yoga. Hobbies and wine tasting groups, entrepreneurs, you name it. Find something that interests you for fun, to meet new people. And find ones that might be of help for your situation (support groups). Most are free. If not the dues are minimal. These are everyday people starting groups to bring people together. You might meet someone that can give you ideas for a job. It’s a little slow due to COVID but most groups still going with safety measures.

Hang in there beautiful young lady. You got this! 🥰

[Hidden in reply to Haley7]

Wow that a was a lot.... I'm really thankful you cared to reply....... About what you suggested, I could never tell my parents.. They'll kick me out... My parents are so strick and I'm afraid not understand..they also gat a lot on their plate this period, it would be unfair of me to burden them.... And the groups you spoke about I would have loved to try it out but due to the lockdown I traveled back to stay with my parents and this may come as a shock but they don't let me leave the house atall ...i spent the last couple of month at home....thats why I searched for online jobs... .. It's been terrible being at home for so long.... I really didn't try reasoning out with them but that was a waste of time..... that's why I when into gambling in the first place, I needed something exciting .....if only I knew better

[Haley7 in reply to Hidden]

Oh my goodness,

This Covid is making so many people miserable!

I’m so sorry to hear of the restrictions you’re facing at home. No adult enjoys moving back home. I understand your parents trying to keep you safe, and that you are under their roof at this time. Do you have a car? Can you just go for a drive? Go for a walk? Do the mindful thing. Small things to get you through each day.

If you are ill in other ways, would your parents be there for you? It sounds like they would. You have a silent illness, one of the most overlooked just for the reasons you stated....They won’t understand. I don’t know your parents but I think they will understand. They are strict because they love you. As a parent you will go to the most extreme measures for your children. I don’t think they’d be that shocked if you simply said that you needed to talk to someone, or go to the Dr. They don’t need to know all of the details. Heck, right now, probably more people are seeking out help during this time, then ever before. Therefore it probably wouldn’t be too much of a surprise.

Again I don’t know your parents. But they are wise. They know people suffer from these things. They just don’t know that YOU do.

And I can tell you care for them, even though they’re being a little crazy right now. They would be devastated if something happened to you.

I hope that if you are at your wits end, you will have the mindset to see that the option to tell them, is the best.

I’m glad you’re on this forum. The internet and all that’s available has literally saved my life many times. I am 57 and have suffered bouts like you, off and on. You’ll get through this and be wiser the next time it pops up. If it does.

Keep searching for that job, so you can GET out of the house, be your own adult person again, and get back on your feet.

[Hidden in reply to Haley7]

I could give it a thought..... thank you very much haley

[Hidden in reply to Haley7]

I also did try reaching out to friends for funds but I guess everyone is really having a bad time 😔